Why can't flirting be more upfront?

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Why does flirting always have to be subtle hints that I always miss? Why can't people just say "I like you" if they do? If everyone did that there would be no stress!

Maybe they're leaving it to us to decipher them. I have gotten better at it over the years, though.

I understand what you mean, It'd be better if people were straight to the point about it. I was with the last girl I had, I told her how I fought it was.

Personally I don't get it. Its like people intentionally make things more complicated than they have to be. Is it like a puzzle for people in which they have to figure out whether or not other people are interested in them? If that's so I'll stay at home and play with a puzzle at least I have a chance of figuring it out. As far as figuring people out I'm pretty hopeless. Flirting for people with AS is like someone who knows absolutely no English trying to to have a conversation with people who only speak English. Personally if someone came up to me and said they found me attractive or that they wanted to sleep with me, I would take it as a compliment. Even if I'm not interested at all. We've used technology and our intellect to make it easier to and quicker to get many of the things we need. Then why shouldn't we try to make getting into a relationship and getting laid easier. It would make life a lot easier for a lot of people, especially those with AS.

As long as someone respected my boundaries if I told them I wasn't interested, I would probably be flattered whether I liked them or not. So either they will get a 'yes' or a 'thanks, but no thanks'. Surely that is better than game playing?

NTs enjoy this games. It's the foreplay of dating, without it the dating game would be dry and boring.

Dry and boring. The way I like it.

^^ I must say, I found the topic of how relationships are initiated (in addition to happy relationships themselves very confusing). Also, concerning flirting, I am not quite certain what flirting is and what the meaning of flirting is. ^^ I become very confused indeed.

That's not the way women like it . Can you see the problem?

I understand what you mean but its kind of depressing that I have to be able to play this game in order to get into a relationship or have sex. Its like I'm expected to do the thing I'm the worst at in order to succeed with women. It makes it pretty frustrating.

Makes sense -- most people want a challenge. Women know guys want something (usually sex), and if they're going to give it up, the guy needs to at least earn it or provide some entertainment. There also needs to be some way to make sure the guy stays interested and doesn't take her for granted.

Flirting is a dance, that allows both parties to extend signs of their interest in each other, without risking hurt and embarrassment if their interest is not returned.

If everyone did that, 1. it would be boring 2. a lot of people would be disgusted.

I'm female and I like it that way. Games = guesswork = headache. Headache = painful.

Yeah, I don't get flirting either. I've been told that girls have flirted with me, but it was always after the fact. Friends will see a girl talking to me and later ask why I didn't get her number/ask her out/etc and I just say, "She just wanted to know how tall I am." Apparently, she was speaking in some foreign body language that I don't know how to even recognize, let alone translate, but my friends were able to see it. Oh well.

It would be amazing if that were a socially acceptable way to initiate a relationship. I think I'll just buck social norms and try the straightforward approach sometime. If nothing else, it will catch her off guard.