Got "nothing to offer"

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Joined: 30 Jan 2009
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26 Apr 2009, 2:28 am

Which is why women normally don't date people like me. I've got no job, no car and live at home. I just struck out right there with the opposite sex. I've got no desire to get a car (I love the outdoors too much for that) but a job and my own place would be nice. I don't want a flashy car anyway. Just not whats important to me. I'd rather ride my bike through cities like I did today than drive a ferarri and have women and some men too like me cause of that and not for who I am. On the positive side of things though, I'll likely never let a woman control my life. No sir. I'm not a door mat in the least and silently laugh at p**** whupped guys. If it weren't for material things females love us men to have, I sure as hell still wouldn't be a virgin. I'd probably be no ladies man but I'd have average success I'm betting. I don't necessarily buy the nice guys finish last line. Women marry nice guys mostly. They don't marry guys that beat them up. That says enough right there imo. What I'm saying if you haven't got the picture, is that, you need to not be shallow. At all. To get at me. Doesn't matter if your beautiful as all get out since I don't think with my dick. If your the prettiest girl in the world, at first look, yeah I'm a guy. I'll think your hot. But the second you become a complete b*tch, you become instantly unattractive to me. Plus, I think (and I've also been told) I've got a lot or at least something to offer. Just not the things women seem to want. Whatever.

cya l8ter.

AlMightyAl
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26 Apr 2009, 2:40 am

aspieguy101 wrote:

I have an idea...
try getting a job... so many people on here say they don't have jobs... why is that?
I'm 14 and I'm getting a job as soon as I'm 15. Already had some job interviews previously.
I don't like using 'Aspergers' for an excuse not to do things.

i_wanna_blue
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26 Apr 2009, 2:50 am

I'm just like you, I don't go running around trying to gain material wealth in order to present something 'attractive' to the opposite sex. I really don't care about money or cars or flashy clothes. If a girl is interested in me, all she would get is me. Now thats where the problem lies. I'm somewhat neurotic, have pityingly low self esteem, and well I don't really regard myself as particularly attractive. Will material wealth change my fortune? For me it seems somewhat cosmetic. So no, it would not boost my ego in any way.

Quote:

I'll think your hot. But the second you become a complete b*tch, you become instantly unattractive to me.

Again same with me. A girls character is ultimately what subsequently makes me attracted to her. Some people say my character is of a reasonable standard (ie. my thing to offer). Maybe so, but sometimes I feel that is not enough. I guess if I am not shallow in my perception of girls, I should not not feel that they are shallow in their perception of me. Something to work on definitely.

Ichinin
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26 Apr 2009, 6:43 am

AlMightyAl wrote:

try getting a job... so many people on here say they don't have jobs... why is that?

I read somewhere that 80% of people with Autism spectrum disorders are unemployed (probably because of poor social/networking skills).

And we have a global recession right now. So, even if we did not have that recession it is just not the case of just walking out of the door and getting a job.

The world does not work that way.

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oppositedirection
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26 Apr 2009, 7:56 am

Ichinin wrote:

AlMightyAl wrote:

try getting a job... so many people on here say they don't have jobs... why is that?

Quote:

An NAS survey in 2001 found a 6% rate of full-time employment in adults with autism spectrum disorders

from the National Autistic Society (based in the UK, to be fair we do have a good benefits program) http://www.nas.org.uk/nas/jsp/polopoly.jsp?d=239&a=2371

That said, I really don't think that women are really that into the whole job and car issue. Or at least interesting women don't seem to be, suffice to say none of my female friends are.

Learning2Survive
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26 Apr 2009, 9:39 am

you have to spend effort to make a relationship work, but ultimately, you re looking for a woman for whom you don't have to change to date her

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JohnHopkins
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26 Apr 2009, 10:13 am

aspieguy101 wrote:

Which is why women normally don't date people like me. I've got no job, no car and live at home. I just struck out right there with the opposite sex.

Most people get their first girlfriends while at school. You think any of them have cars and jobs or live on their own?

aspieguy101 wrote:

I've got no desire to get a car (I love the outdoors too much for that) but a job and my own place would be nice. I don't want a flashy car anyway. Just not whats important to me. I'd rather ride my bike through cities like I did today than drive a ferarri and have women and some men too like me cause of that and not for who I am. On the positive side of things though, I'll likely never let a woman control my life. No sir. I'm not a door mat in the least and silently laugh at p**** whupped guys. If it weren't for material things females love us men to have, I sure as hell still wouldn't be a virgin.

First off, there's a difference between being pussy-whipped and putting effort into a relationship, and yeah, you probably will stay a virgin until you can learn the difference. I'm sorry if that's too tough a thing to say, but it's true. You're not the only guy on this forum who I've noticed seems to have this opinion.

aspieguy101 wrote:

I'd probably be no ladies man but I'd have average success I'm betting. I don't necessarily buy the nice guys finish last line. Women marry nice guys mostly. They don't marry guys that beat them up. That says enough right there imo. What I'm saying if you haven't got the picture, is that, you need to not be shallow. At all. To get at me. Doesn't matter if your beautiful as all get out since I don't think with my dick. If your the prettiest girl in the world, at first look, yeah I'm a guy. I'll think your hot. But the second you become a complete b*tch, you become instantly unattractive to me. Plus, I think (and I've also been told) I've got a lot or at least something to offer. Just not the things women seem to want. Whatever.

cya l8ter.

How old are you? Serious question, not just a snide comment.

billsmithglendale
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27 Apr 2009, 11:33 am

oppositedirection wrote:

Ichinin wrote:

AlMightyAl wrote:

try getting a job... so many people on here say they don't have jobs... why is that?

Quote:

An NAS survey in 2001 found a 6% rate of full-time employment in adults with autism spectrum disorders

I have the feeling that % is waaaay skewed -- It's probably underreporting Aspie employment because so many people are either undiagnosed or way too sensitive about the topic to participate in a survey. I can think of a bunch of people in the IT field that are total Aspies, but probably don't know it.

ToadOfSteel
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27 Apr 2009, 11:48 am

billsmithglendale wrote:

Like the underreporting of AS in general, you mean?

billsmithglendale
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27 Apr 2009, 11:52 am

ToadOfSteel wrote:

billsmithglendale wrote:

Like the underreporting of AS in general, you mean?

Yep, exactly. There are probably a lot more employed AS folks than the surveys recognize -- it's just that the extreme Aspies are the ones who are most likely to be diagnosed and turn up in those surveys (while living unemployed with their parents and having no car).

BPalmer
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27 Apr 2009, 4:33 pm

Ichinin wrote:

I read somewhere that 80% of people with Autism spectrum disorders are unemployed (probably because of poor social/networking skills). And we have a global recession right now. So, even if we did not have that recession it is just not the case of just walking out of the door and getting a job.

Don't worry, reality will smack him upside the head sooner or later! Despite the stereotypes, not all Aspies are in IT, you know.

billsmithglendale
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27 Apr 2009, 5:54 pm

BPalmer wrote:

Ichinin wrote:

I read somewhere that 80% of people with Autism spectrum disorders are unemployed (probably because of poor social/networking skills). And we have a global recession right now. So, even if we did not have that recession it is just not the case of just walking out of the door and getting a job.

Don't worry, reality will smack him upside the head sooner or later! Despite the stereotypes, not all Aspies are in IT, you know.

Yep, there's a few in web design as well

TheDoctor82
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04 May 2009, 3:39 am

AlMightyAl wrote:

aspieguy101 wrote:

You sound like me, only not as cynical.

I thought the same of myself when I was 19; I'm 27 now...I've grown into my own skin; I have plenty to offer, and I have a hot babe at my side now, too...yes, it's my girlfriend

I notice a lot of people here whine "oh woe is me", and honestly, it gets old, cause there's so much they can do to help themselves. And I'm not the type to go "awwwwwwwwww, it's ok.."; that's not me. I've overcome so much in my life, I tire of hearing it after a while.

LePetitPrince
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04 May 2009, 10:21 am

Quote:

Most people get their first girlfriends while at school. You think any of them have cars and jobs or live on their own?

True is that, but an adult woman doesn't think like a teen girl and a teen girl doesn't think like a child girl. In fact, 16/17 yo teen girls usually prefer to date 20/25 yo guys.

Learning2Survive
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04 May 2009, 11:14 am

this coming from a guy who said that 13 year old girl should start dating and having sex because otherwise she will miss the opportunity and never learn.

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LePetitPrince
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04 May 2009, 11:22 am

Learning2Survive wrote:

this coming from a guy who said that 13 year old girl should start dating and having sex because otherwise she will miss the opportunity and never learn.

I never said that she has to start having sex. In fact , I said that she should avoid it. And yes, nothing wrong if she starts dating at this age.

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