What chance do I have?

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I'm 34, have no car, employment, almost no money, and I'm really short. Great catch, right? I very much want a relationship, but I've got so much stacked against me, and I have tried dating sites for years with only one girl with who I hit it off with, but we didn't work out. How pathetic can a person be? If I had more money, I would still be on all the dating sites, but I can't afford them for the foreseeable future, and I probably can't ever work. I also don't live in big city, so both transportation and the amount of women in my area is an issue. I don't really have any hobbies where I meet people, and I'm not into casual hookups, so what am I supposed to do if I ever want to end my loneliness? Am I the only one with these setbacks here? Any suggestions?

Please do not think of yourself as pathetic, because you are not. There are many people in your position. Only the superficial people would reject you based on your circumstances. I'm sure you really don't want them. Have you considered joining a house of worship? How about visiting a library? Can you volunteer somewhere? Are there employers in your area with jobs you can do? I would start by trying to improve the financial and transportation issues before pursuing relationships though. Having some money and reliable transport are the hardware needed for dating. Nothing fancy needed though.

^Yes, this what waynet7 is saying.

I'm not very religious, so a religious congregation wouldn't seem right for me. The reason is that while it provides a lot of social opportunity, religions tend to be too old-fashioned and girls or guys you can meet there are more interested in saving intimacy until marriage.

Is there any similar form of congregation for non-religious or struggling people?

^^^^Have you considered a 'non-denominational' church? They appear to be very popular with younger people, and just because someone goes to a church does not mean that they are devout in regard to religion. I know many who are not, but still attend.

As someone who is not religious yet is getting married my partner's church (as she IS religious), one of the things they asked is that I attend a religious course. Much to my surprise, not only did I enjoy it but I found most of the devout were not that far apart from my own (lack of) beliefs. I made it very clear I did not believe and was not treated the least bit differently or poorly.

I also went to a marriage retreat and I doubt even one couple was waiting until marriage! Even the priest didn't try to hide that fact, only suggesting that we should now "save up" for the big day and make it truly special.

Stop thinking about yourself in such way. There is always a way to be better. If you don't have a car then buy it. If you don't have money then take a loan. With car you will have a good job and the problem with transportation will disappear. And why you think that money will make you happier? It's all in your head. Set goals, read more self improvement books.

To quote Fight Club -

“You are not your job, you're not how much money you have in the bank. You are not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet. You are not your khakis. You are all singing, all dancing crap of the world.”

Learn to thrive without this stuff and girls will like you anyway

Honestly, I think you have a very little chance (~1%) if you don't tackle those issues first (except shortness which cannot be solved).

I am not a sugar-coating idealist.

Mr. Party pooper out.

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 04 May 2016, 9:41 am, edited 1 time in total.

I just wanted to quote Fight Club at least once

I am of the Party poopers club.

Maybe you could start thinking more about others? You seem to be pretty focused on what you don't have. A relationship involves two people caring about each other.

I am in somewhat of a same boat as the OP here. I don't really drive or have a job. I'm also worried that transport will be a real issue for a job I do want. My parents somehow sound in doubt when I explain to them that needing to drive means a whole lot.

And I will look up a good congregation in my area.

Odds are stacked against you but it's not impossible if your very proactive about finding someone online & offline. I'm disabled & am on Social Security Disability. I also cant drive because my vision is too bad. I lived with my parents till I moved in with my current girlfriend. I met her here on this forum. She's on SSI & has a Section 8 housing voucher. I moved from Louisiana to Vermont to be with her.

I'm 28. Work retail, car dies randomly so just sits out side my house last 8 months.
I'm 6'3" but that doesn't make up for the job. Women won't even consider me for hooks,

For just sex you need same stuff for relationship(car, decent job, own place) plus Be in great shape and have a big penis. I've tried looking for just sex in some attempt to get any affection(right word?)

I'm not sure what to do really. Despite not being good enough for them people still expect me to not die. It's like they enjoy my forever suffering.

Perhaps few years ago I'd be more positive but that was crushed. No one really gets it but other worthless men and there's nothing we can do to help each other.

Is intern/first-time web design or developer a decent job?