alot of problems
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My friends keep getting relationships and I try to avoid them completely and erase there memory files. I can't obtain a relationship myself because i have no taste for women or maybe i am not hungry?
Also, when i try to be just friends with girls i never have anything to say because men are born with the inability to talk about serious things.
I am not gay btw
Can someone help?
Fiz
Veteran
Joined: 29 Jan 2006
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,821
Location: Manchester, United Kingdom
emil wrote:
My friends keep getting relationships and I try to avoid them completely and erase there memory files. I can't obtain a relationship myself because i have no taste for women or maybe i am not hungry?
Maybe you are just one of these people who is just generally not that interested in having a relationship? If that's you, then there's nothing wrong with that. Some people have relationships because they feel pressured by society into having them i.e. it is expected of you. It's almost as though the viewpoint is that there is something is wrong with you if you don't want a relationship. I don't believe that at all. In fact, I think part of the reason why there are so many unsuccessful relationships out there is because of peer pressure. It's quite sad really. If you really aren't that interested in having a relationship, then don't do it. You'll save yourself a lot of pain in the long run.
emil wrote:
Also, when i try to be just friends with girls i never have anything to say because men are born with the inability to talk about serious things.
I am not gay btw
I am not gay btw
I don't think it's a matter of men having the inability to talk about serious things. I have quite a few male friends and a lot of them have intelligent things to say and provide me with wonderful conversation (and some don't but hey). I think that, perhaps, you may be putting yourself down here and you are not quite sure how to approach the opposite sex as just a friend. Just be yourself. Let her start a conversation with you first and take it from there. I always prefer it when people talk first, it makes life easier for me. How do you speak to men? Try and adopt how you speak to men and then speak to a woman in the same way i.e. treat them the same as you would men to a certain extent. However, first you must get a handle of what she is interested in before you do that. You can't just assume that she is going to be into the same stuff as you or your male friends, because otherwise you may end boring her or offending her depending on what you are into. Find some common ground and talk about that. If she begins to think that you are after something other than friendship, tell her politely that you are not interested in a relationship be it romantic or sexual and that all you want is friendship. In fact, even throwing in a line like 'you are a pretty woman, but I am not interested in a relationship with anyone right now. Besides, I really have to get to know a person first over a few months at least before that is even a consideration'. This will make you look like an emotionally deep and considerate person. Plus then I think she'll get the message.
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