I just asked a girl out for the first time in my life.

Post Reply New Topic

And I'm 39. That's not to say I haven't dated or had relationships. I've done plenty of that. But I've never asked someone out on a date myself before. It's always been set up by friends or something we both sort of fell into. Sometimes I get asked out.

The best part is after I got done with having a heart attack I felt really great.

Oh yeah. She said no. But that's not really important. I feel great!

yea that stuff can be pretty hard to do. I've done it on teh phone, but never to a girls face. its like the words are stuck down there and you cant get it out.

Congratulations! I'll drink an extra one for you!

Still... done plenty of dating without even having to ask? Lucky rat b******! J/k

once i got rather direct invitation to have sex and i didn't get it. well, only later when i asked people what she meant by that. so yeah, congrats i hope that in ten years i am able to do that too...

Good on ya man. The thing is that you actually did it. At least you know where you stand. It's better than the pain of not knowing. I have only directly asked people out three times and all said 'no'. The first time was when I was 20. I forced myself to ask someone out and was politely turned down. I wasn't hurt but strangely felt a sense of relief. I once heard Tom Baker as Dr Who say that 'failure is one of the biggest freedoms in life'. If you do try and you fail, that is fine. If you don't try then you are defeating yourself. But as I said good on you for trying. I take my hat off to you.

all the best

Alex

I'm one up on you all, I first asked a guy out face to face when I was 17.

Of course, it was the scariest hardest thing I'd ever done, and he said no. And it hurt. A lot.

Very brave of you. I honour you for this too. At least you were prepared to make a move where in this society women are expected to be the ones waiting to be asked out. Seems like women can have similar problems to men in this regard.

she said no?

well, in a sense thats good. you got rejected, soaked it up, and still feel on top of things for having charged yourself out there!
thats better than i ever did, but then again you got like 10 years on me

well done anyway

THANKYOU.

More people on this forum need to have this attitude.

hah! love it. I just recently confessed my feelings for someone and I knew it wouldnt mean much or change things, but it did feel really good, and she still talks to me =P

Heh, I travel a bit for work, stay in hotels a lot, and one night I guess I got completely propositioned in the lobby by a hooker. I found it very awkward the way she was coming on to me and not until I told a friend did he notify me of what she was. One of the things she said was 'maybe if you get me some roses we can go have a good time' and I guess 'roses' is code for money. I just said 'sorry, my rooms ready, i gotta go, it was nice talking to you'.

And there was another situation at work once that I kinda did pick up on. I had done some work for this lady on the side, was a furniture store i worked in the warehouse of, she worked sales but i did some graphic work for her on the side a few times for her own interior design business. So we were kinda friendly. So, anyways, she kinda approached me funny one day and said to me 'we should get together for lunch later this week, i've got the afternoons all off, Tim (her husband) is out of town so i'm bored' As she was saying this she was running her finger up and down my arm, i guess like you would a small kitten, very gently and like in a wavy motion. I was more afraid that I was being touched, my boundaries crossed, than what she was subtly suggesting. I think my reply was something to the effect 'we'll see, i'm in class the days i'm not working' And I kinda had an inclenation as to what her motives were, but she's married. Well, I found out about a month later she was getting divorced, she found out her husband had been cheating on her. And the timeline as I was told, had her finding out like a day before our incident. I had turned down revenge sex lol.

It all depends on whether you have a high tolerance for failure or not... some people have more than others...

I asked someone out for the first time about a year and a half ago. I was rejected. Turns out she had a boyfriend.

Lesson learned: do reconnaissance first.

Sadly I have yet to learn a reliable method for recon. Just asking a question like "have you got a boyfriend?" or "are you single?" is much harder than it sounds...

Well I was able to pull that off once... I asked a girl out, and she (in hindsight, predictably) said no... I had no nervousness about asking her out because I was so full of myself (aka narcissist) at the time that the thought of her saying no to the "great and glorious me" didn't even cross my mind... that was one of the most crushing days of my life (I even remember the specific day it was on: Tuesday, July 2, 2002), and I was in a depression for three years, but the important life lesson was learned: If you think you're worth anything, you're only setting yourself up for disappointment...

PS: She was probably the only time I have also seen a woman say "lets be friends" and actually mean it, so she's still good in my book...

I am a down_to_earth person, I am a 'result person' and I only judge on the outcome and really don't care how hard or good or bad the process was , a no is a no .Now these no's might help you to develop experience in order to get a yes next time , that's good but you should understand that the outcome that you wish for is all what matters, I don't mean that you should be down or depressed but celebrating for a no is silly in my opinion.

I will congratulate you once you get a yes.

LePetitPrince, I don't mean to contradict you, but you're kind of missing the point: the fact is the OP worked up the courage to ask. That in itself is a huge achievement and deserves congratulations in itself.

Who cares what her response was

Thank God I took that step a long time ago, about 17-18 years ago. (She said yes btw, my first major crush. )

Did it again a while ago and feelt great (I had been checking her out a little on the bus), she turned me down though, as exepcted.) Still, not the important thing, since my objective wasn't to get a date with her but to have the curage to aks.
People shouldn't ask to get a date, they should ask just for the sake of it, and if they get a yes, that's just a bonus.

Better luck with the reply in the future.