Gender Paradigms

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While I am not one to take pop psych articles/ books with anymore seriousness than my daily horoscope (fun for a second but irrelevant) or a fortune cookie (in bed) I came across one of those "how to date a girl" articles. To sum up it pretty much just said "be an alpha male".

And even for pop psych stuff I usually flat out avoid: How to impress your man (in bed), how to attract the ladies (in bed), or how to make a Zoroastrian go wild (OK, I would most certainly read that article, even if “in bed” could not be attached to it in a funny way, which thankfully is not the case here).

It hit as to why I avoid them, they are all the same (the guys attracting girls especially). Not only are they all the same, but they are intensely annoying. And perhaps one reason why I find them so annoying is that in the past decade (as I have been at least semi-social for about 10 yrs now) it is becoming more evident to me that this type of behavior is typical, and how many people live about their lives.

People think along dominant/submissive lines. Perhaps it is hard wired biology. Perhaps it is the limitations of language and/or culture that caused it to become somewhat of a fetish. I don’t know. What I am certain of, is there is no way I could respect anyone who wanted me to be dominant (much less the love of my life), and there is no way in hell I could respect myself for wanting to be submissive. I honestly thought relationships (not just romantic ones) were supposed to be equal and decisions could be made logically without playing some stupid mating game. Example: it shouldn’t be unattractive to the woman for us to figure out what movie to see together.

This type of behavior confuses and frustrates me to no end, and this is coming from a small business owner (as in I am a boss).

Please note: I am not in life a bitter lover, but someone who is trying to not be a bitter liver by wishing to love better and better live my life, and not destroy my liver (with alcohol and in bed).

Those articles are for them, the NT's. Moreover, they're for NT's who not only read them but take them seriously. Cosmo magazine has little to say to us as a whole.

That said, full disclosure: I like girly girls, with long girly hair and girly shoes and girly dresses and such. Of course I'd like them to be intelligent and funny and like the same things I do, which (for me) does not detract from overall girliness. Is this evolution, my hardwiring to desire an attractive, healthy and submissive mate? I don't think so, no. I can't say I'm not at all influenced by biology, but I can say my animal instincts are pretty much the least impressive part about me.