Gay and Aspergers

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I am glad the issue is considered here on WrongPlanet. I have always identified with being gay. Sometimes I often thought that I just wanted to be like the man I was watching. I always associated with sex feelings early on as a longing to be that person. Im 37 and alot of tumultuous lonely years have gone by. I feel like Methuselah in these rooms and among the Aspies I have met. I was only recently diagnosed with Aspergers. I tried using Aspieaffection. I found no one responded to requests for friendship. It was very disappointing because I feel that I could log onto a NT type dating site and say I have two heads and receive a response. I will keep trying though. I understand we all don't want to talk at times. I spent most of my youth trying to fit in so I can generally fit in while dating. I do enjoy the feeling when i can let go of my own emotions inside while with a man and during sex with a man. I often dont as Im sure you may concur that sometimes its too much for the person or the wrong stuff comes out. I also laugh at the realization that while being gay has limited my dating pool but nothing compared to being autistic and gay!! I think the pool is now a wading pool of about 23 on aspieaffection! We are as rare as Faberge eggs! So when your feeling down consider yourself one of natures unique creations and know that someone wants to meet you as much you want to meet them! Look forward to hearing from you. Bill

Bill, I know how you feel, I am female and never fit in with the guys or girls, I was totally unaware of what my sexuality was. All my life I had been a MAJOR tomboy, more that I just wanted to be a guy. I never thought I was anything else. I joined the military only because my life sucked and I didn't fit in anywhere. Well while in the military I fell in love and married a man to whom I've been married 23 years. I still don't feel female in most things. I don't like womens clothes or shoes, I love sports, But the autistic traits may explain some of it. But finding friends is especially hard because I'm so different and also picky(autistic). I would love to chat with you from time to time, because you are the first person who has described his feelings the way I feel mine.
Gina

Hi Gina. I guess sex is really in our head. So often I wish I could turn it off. It does lead to complications and misunderstandings and hurt feelings. I cant stand it! hehe I often go to that place where im neither or. I somtimes think my story could be like yours in that if I met a woman and became friends and in love things would be different. I think a mans body, however cerebral I want to be about it, is pushing for sex alot more than a woman's. Maybe you could control your sex better or not think about it. Not being a female and being afraid to discuss it with a real one I can only assume that you dont have the same relentless drive for sex as a man does. It has driven me to find expression. I've also come across a larger number than you think of females who identify as male and turn transgender. BUT ARE STILL LOVING MEN! So in essence have turned themselves into gay men. I havent talked to anybody about it because it seems they are real sensitive about it and want to just forget the female past. Maybe your programming is something like this and your aspergers keeps the emotional desire to change your whole body in check. I am only speculating of course. Its just an interesting way your looking at things. I dont want to become female yet I admire men. It is an intense longing to look like them. I ask myself, why I dont look like that? when I think someone is beautiful. Women sort of scare me I guess. Maybe the emotions. Maybe the unknown. Not sure.

You are right, the fact that I am female could have something to do with not thinking of sex all of the time. I used to but not so much anymore. I don't seem to get along with women as much as men. I always find something I don't like about them. But people in general are hard for me to understand. I just wish everyone was always honest and you could trust everyone.