hey, lil question

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i was having a steak today, in a restaurant MILES from here, but anyway

theres this woman at the other table, im bad at guessing ages, but im guessing shes my age exactly or a bit older, and a strange combo of a tomboyish yet delicate look, that just cought my attention

now she glanced back at me, and of course i look away, but now im intrigued and curious, so i keep throwing glances at her, and she does look back more than once after that, maybe 3 times in i dunno 45 minutes

now,
if i was NT
were there ANY a moment where i should have acted?
would some sort of progression have been expected under normal circumstances, during 45 minutes inside a diner?
is this where i pull my balls out of my pants, and start swinging?

i thought about keeping eyecontact for even a fraction of a second longer, but i simply couldnt.

If she met your stare and smiled at you or whatever, then any time from then on would be a good time to approach them. You're not going to lose anything by asking anyway.

I find it terribly embaracing too... that's why I decided to make fun of it... something like a cartoon of the hole situation. Cause I cannot hold my look quite long also, in your position I would have by the third time wave or something smiling (like it's embaracing but cool), if the person answers with a smile I might proceed to talk.



OR I would have stand up by the end and walked like in the movies directly to the character's table, smileying not hiding the look more like staring at something else or looking at her forehead (a trick to not get nervous about the eyes and yet give the impresion that you are looking in the eyes) handing a paper with my phone.


Think that what you are doing is completely normal, that as long as you don't fall on your way you will never be hardly judged by handing a paper, that if you are hardly judged you will never realise or care. So... it's not the end of the world.

Good luck!

thats annoyingly true...



ooo i dont think spontaneous movie impersonations would be my... best... safest... bet
but i get what you say about forcing yourself through the scare-barrier by doing it "jokingly"
such as jokingly smile and wave, instead of doing it all serious, sweatting and stuttering

ah well, today was about sending glances. it was the most excitement ive had in... 4?... yes 4... years.

Eeeew... as a female, that scenario gives me the cheapo creeps! Gag. Do you want to develop a relationship or just get your rocks off? If the later, hire a prostitute.

If you'd like to actually talk to the woman, this is the time for a little chit-chat. I know, not our strongest point, but learn it (from the movies if you have to). Some examples...

"Nice weather (Awful weather) we're having, don't you think?"
"Are you from here or traveling?"
"I love the ______ here, have you tried it?"
"I'm just visiting the area; do you have any suggestions for interesting things to see?"

These are not pick-up lines, but conversation starters. Fairly non-threatening, nice, and she can duck out without feeling creeped out.

okay see, im gonna be very blunt, heres the problem:

from where i find myself seated

to the point of saying any of the above

i will have to:
get up, and walk across, towards.
that motion allone, and i'd feel like some rapist horror-clown or something
ive never ever felt that *now* it feels natural, to do that little walk

But from her side, she sees a shy, embarrassed awkward but sweet fellow approaching... totally disarming. Awkward and shy is way hotter than crotch-shoving macho man... at least to me.

And for us, it happens to be 'in character'. LOL

Or set-up the casual walk by... on the way to somewhere (coffee refill, restroom, whatever) just catch her eye and smile the first time by, and on the return say something to start a conversation.

hmmm
makes sense
ill still feel like im being percieved as a total psycho tho but im gonna believe you!

Bah. It's easy, don't make it a "thing". Here, watch as we engage in a bit of role play for your benefit:

<-- Sidles shyly over to DonkeyBuster

Howdy there, Ma'am (tips hat). Say, I happened to notice that you have four (4) asses!! !! ! And one of them is drinking beer. That's mighty unusual miss. Say, would you mind terribly if I sidle up here and join ya? I mean, we're both sorta dining alone and I'd appreciate the company.

Oh, just ignore that feeling... delete it as useless input. It has no basis in reality.

If you're going to watch the movies for pointers, watch the ones with the lovable clutz for pointers (Hugh Grant, for example), not the suave, smooth confident players... that's the guy women LOVE!

I think it's more within our range.

OK, you made me smile. Sure 'nough, pull up a chair, pardner.

Oh yeah, a little humor is always good. Show an interest in what the other person is doing, etc.

Okay, that was actually the EASY part. You had plenty of time to think about something witty to say in order to break the ice AND there was no pressure on you while you were thinking. Now comes the hard part. You must make initial conversation.

DO NOT think of this as a "target" situation. Do not think of the person across from you as "potential girlfriend". I want you to think of her as a pal. Your goal here should be getting to know someone as a potential friend and nothing more. If it helps, think of her as one of your guy buddies. This will help you NOT be nervous. You have several paths you can follow.

AVOID your special interest if it makes you ramble. For me this is <sigh > VIDEO GAMES. Yes, I have a lousy one, especially at 40 years old. Don't lead with: "So, are you into video games? I really like this one called... <ten minutes later> ... and Sepiroth comes down with this sword and AERIS... NOOOoooooo ... <twenty minutes later> and that , my dear, is how I boosted the "SERIOUSLY" Achievement in Gears of War for my 1250 gamerscore ... wait , why am I sitting here alone now? "

Play to your strengths, minimize your weaknesses. Take a look at this thread about dating http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt100278.html for more feedback and a good link to some online ideas too!

Anyhow to continue in the real world:
"Say, ma'am, I couldn't help but notice I don't see you around town much unless you're out tending your flowers. They're very beautiful flowers. How long did it take you to get your flower garden so full if I may ask? (and for later) So did you plant the flowers so that they will bloom in some kind of sequence or seasonally or something?"