Hey Guys

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Hey guys. have you ever been in a certain place with your "so called friends" and there was this girl or a couple of girls that all the guys liked and maybe you thought she was cute too.
And then you notice all your friends behaviors change around this girl, and the way you act is always the same as how you always act. or maybe you act alittle more nervous than usual. Then your friends tell you that you are acting weird or not right around this girl, and they try to teach you how to act.
and the girl seems to have this closed minded view of the world and how guys should act. she also has a closed minded view of herself. You can tell sh's insecure, but she tries to cover it up with being a b***h.
Your friends dont mind, but in reality as every second passes you begin to hate this girl and you hate the way your freinds behavior is, and you feel like having a meltdown.
Your heart starts beating fast, and your anxiety and apprehension turns into anger. You dont know what to do. It seems your friends are getting all the attention from the girl and she looks at you with a strnge look. She may even ask you "why are you so quiet" or if you try to say something, she and/or everyone gives you a "he's weird" look or "act normal/cool dude" look.

You either have a meltdown or hold it in until later. If you do have a meltdown you are seen as a punk who cried, if you dont, the anger is held in.

Yes, I used to many times. Very aggravating!

Nope, my mates never gave me a clue. They'd ask me why I didn't 'understand' women or why I couldn't 'tell' that a woman was interested in me.

Generally, when I get into that situation (I tend to hang with a group of guy friends, then when they start chatting to a group of girls etc), I tend to more just step back and watch with some amusement from the side lines, not joining either party.

These days I'm very secure in myself, and also very independent from others - so if a group of friends is participating in an activity that is outside my comprehension/I have no interest in, I step aside for a while and either observe and be entertained, or go and do my own thing. People will be people, and in the end you have to love them for their eccentricities and quirks - especially when it comes down to flirting.

It's sort of like when peacocks try to attract mates by showing their feathers; their actions make sense biologically. Guys do it by changing the way they talk and showing off, girls do it by doing up all the hair and make-up and stuff, and acting all shy and giggly and delicate.

The problem with/the good thing about (depending on what way you look at it) aspies is that we tend to just be ourselves regardless.

I guess, reading back over my post, I don't get upset by that stuff because I've separated myself from it. I've stopped caring about failing at fitting in with the others since I realized that I could still make friends anyway just by being myself.

When I was younger I used to feel how you felt in group situations. I must admit though, I still feel uneasy and often threatened in groups of all girls, but that's for other reasons (the dynamics are too complex and subtle for me to read and follow, so I'm pretty much blind).

I can somewhat relate to that. That feeling, especially with the high anxiety and heart beating, is completely overwhelming.