What do you think of how aspies are treated by other people?

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I went to an all girls school till year 8 and I was the tallest by quite a lot and a very violent child they were all to scared of me to say anything but I got it pretty bad in high school and I would all ways get in troubled for blowing up at people who looking back on it now I kno the were going me on purpose. All of it was verbal bulling tho mostly yelled from a distance so they could have a running start Now I just don’t interact with those people in school if non of my friends are there I put my head phons on and pick up a book and ignore the out side world. My real friends don’t care most of them have a “problem” of there own. In fact fore or so of my friend probly have aspies I tend to attract people who are tolerant because they are different to.

School was a nightmare. I was everyone's favorite scapegoat from 4th grade on. I had the best "friend" who did things to get a reaction out of me, stabbed me in the back, and told me lies just to see if I'd believe them. This went on for years and I never figured it out. Hell, a lot of people enjoyed doing rude things to me just to get a reaction. People knew I wasn't "street smart" and took advantage of it all the time. I couldn't understand why people called me snobby because I wanted to be by myself. Their judgments made me even less likely to interact with them. I occasionally got flak from adults for not being able to handle as many extracurricular activities and homework assignments as everyone else. Apparently kids aren't supposed to get stressed out.

I had the occasional teacher who took pleasure in making me feel stupid, often in front of the entire class. Fortunately I never got the "ret*d" label stuck to me, although my teachers made me out to be lazy or stupid when I couldn't figure "easy" things out.

Neither my parents nor the school administration did anything that was helpful in the long term. I might have been able to score the occasional "Mom says I'm sick and can't be in gym class" note, but that was about it. Everything about me was fair game for my peers. To them, I was a fat, ugly, snobby, psycho crybaby and I deserved what I got.

No wonder I was suicidal by the age of 10. I begged my parents to let me homeschool myself my senior year, but my dad wouldn't hear of it. If I hadn't been able to take full time college courses during my senior year of HS, I would have dropped out. I couldn't take anymore.

Aside from my first year of college, I didn't deal with the blatant mockery and mistreatment that I dealt with in high school. Mostly I just got criticized or ignored for being who I am. I had one "friend" tell me how I wasn't trying hard enough to fit in. He suggested I smoke to meet people, and told me I was wrong for living in a single dorm. My meltdowns were dismissed as a chemical imbalance or the product of bad parenting. My live-in ex constantly made me feel like crap for all sorts of AS traits (I didn't know about AS in college).

I attempted suicide in 2003 because I was utterly tired of being different and tired of never seeming to fit even though I would have sold my soul to be "normal" at that time.

Then I graduated and got a job. I can fake NT long enough to get through a job interview, but that's about it. I work with a guy who may or may not do things on a daily basis just to get me upset. He seems to be like that to everyone, not just me, but you never know.

I would say that highschool would have to be the toughest time for me. In middle school I was lonely but nothing bad really happened (besides for like the first day of my 7th grade year where I got jumped by 2 wusses.) But I really loved sports and especcially football, this meant I had to try out for the team that was filled with NT jocks (you know the type) and I spent everyday trying to avoid them before the coaches came out (which often meant 15 minutes) and got to enjoy playing dodgefootball (with the QB on the other side) and being made fun of while that went on. And of course the coaches knew something was going on but didnt stop it. After 2 years of that I quit and joined xcountry which was a tad bit better. (Oh also in school was no picnic either as they frequently made fun of me knowing I couldnt do anything about it as fighting (my normal means of defense) meant a 10 day suspecion which under block scheduling was pretty much an F.)

edit: oh and I forgot about the time that a guy put mud in my helmet.

Last edited by Endersdragon on 29 Sep 2005, 5:46 pm, edited 1 time in total.

There was a certain amount of it against me, but overall not all that much, in the scheme of things. There again, I spent so little time in 'normal' schools or having any formal education (pre-16) that this is probably why I got off comparatively lightly.

In the community home where I lived, for the first few months my 'behaviour' was such that it incited some reaction, then that stopped. Problems only really arose when it went 'co-ed' and the pack-herd mating-aggression instinct came to the fore. That pretty much ruined the place and it went downhill from there.

I often used to wonder why staff there were oddly reluctant to confront the bullying '(they liked to dress it up as being the fault of the recipient, though they mave have had other motives for this), though knowing what I do now, it is easy to see why the dominant, types were indulged to quite the extent that they were. The manipulative brain-scrambling psycho-babble of the therapy was deployed to ensure that some people were held accountable for being bullied. I think going there did me far more harm than jut

Adult world is not always oriented around overt physical aggression, though I have had my fair share of that in the workplace. It all comes down to the level one is operating at in society. Having had to do some rather yucky jobs in the past, the yucky types of people that often go with those jobs tend to be rather numerous. Strangely, the same teasing and deliberate efforts to 'get a reaction' are never challenged, though you could rest assured that if I spoke my mind about those who did it, that would soon be 'sufficient grounds' for creating more problems. What is interesting here is that they tend to get supported in their controlling, manipulative aggressive bullying.

It does get easier as one gets older, partly as a by-product of social invisibility due to getting older, but also because it is often possible avoid situations where these problems arise. It still isn't good enough those. It can also be 'lonely' in some ways, until such time as it is possible to reconcile the realities of life and try to make something good of it anyway.

I am a social aspie. As alien as that sounds. So i treat them real good. Otherwise they seem to keep to themselves, and people stay away from them. I study social relationships, so i can get them talking. A lot.

People think im not very intelligent, but I laugh to myself because Im Gifted,
people confuses Emotional Intelligence with IQ

I think that most aspies are treated differently and in most cases it could be unfairly.I mean most people took advantage of me thinking me stupid/ret*d(although most people called me insane/crazy)and others avoided me.But even though I ahve a bunch of friends and all,I feel like they don't completely understand.One of them thinks(one that I've just made recently)thinks that I'm insane!People at my school thinks that if you had one thing wrong with you that makes you insane...stupid f***ers.

-SpaceCase

Honestly, I think people with Asperger's syndrome need to be taken seriously when it comes to meltdowns and outrageous outbursts in public or anywhere in the environment. Also, if soomeone says they're autistic the other person should really take it into consideration and DO RESEARCH ABOUT THE NEUROLOGICAL DISORDER. And not stereotype it, but sadly that happens anyways. However, that's just my thought.

On the whole, I got treated quite well by my peers at school. I was regarded as a kind of crazy lazy genius. I was always an aloof presence. There was only a handful of incidents:

One of my best friends kept drowning me in swim class.
That same best friend pushed me into a girl, setting me off into a meltdown. I had a fight with him afterwards, and he beat me, lol.
I got accused of stealing a boy's clothes in the locker rooms, and got into a fight. I won that one, heh.
My gym teacher put me in a group with strangers. I protested that I didn't want to, so she put me outside. I hid, and didn't answer when she called so when I went in she proceeded to tell me off. I melted down and told her I'd kill her. Big mistake.
The brother of one of my friends would physically bully me around, until one of my younger brothers put a stop to it.
I stabbed one of my friends with a pair of scissors. Can't remember why.
A senior started strangling me whenever he saw me because he thought I liked this girl that HE liked. My mother put a stop to that one.

On the whole, though, it really was quite good. We'd play networked games of Descent II during recess and lunch, until they shut it down. We had this box that generated an electric current when the handle was turned. We'd form a semi circle, each end holding a wire. Someone would then turn the handle real fast. That was fun.
I don't think I was treated all that badly except for those few incidents. Everyone was the victim of some practical joke. Like pulling gutters full of water on each other in winter.
Ahhh, I loved high school. Good times.

Most people think I'm an idiot. I talk like someone with ADHD (dx'd), so I can understand that. But sometimes I don't so so stupid, and a few people notice that I really am an intelligent person. And often my humor is stupid-funny, I do or say something stupid because I knowiy's funny or something I do or say naturally is seen as funny. My greeting is sometimes laughed at, simply because it's monotonous and occassionally drawn out. WhenI yell certain words it's seen as funny. My timing is just so comical with certian sentences and ideas that one can't help but laugh. This is why people online view me differently than people who have actually net me. People who have met me know what I sound like, and know the unedited version of me. You people here usually read a refined, censored version of myself. If some of you heard (and saw) me and real life, you'd probably have a completely different opinion of me.

As for how I'm treated, I ralrely care. For a few peole, I'm a punching bag and a doormat for emotional abuse. One of my good freinds likes to pick on me when he's had a bad day, because he knows I could care less what he says or does to me. Some people say that something about me just attracts abuse. It's just the way I am, and I understand.

Reading over some of these posts, I felt upset and angry, and I thought back upon my school years. Middle School and High School are Hell. This hell is different for each person, of course, the length of time spent within is variable. Some emerge victorious, blossoming in college and beyond. Others emerge after a struggle, but are noticeably scarred. Others don't emerge at all, and carry their private hell with them to eternity.

Anyone who remembers these years as a positive, idyllic time is someone I cannot for the life of me relate to.

The main problem I've noticed isn't people with AS being bullied, but rather ignored. The only aspies I've ever known who were mistreated were the ones who deserved it. (i.e. apies who thoughtlessly made some death threat, bad joke, or racist comment.)

I could tell you stories of my own but collectively you all posted what I already experienced. And those stories about the pseudo-friends, yes, I've been through that mill. Reading this thread brings back bad memories

I am writing a book about my life's story and my life's journey with AS. I still remember all those people I've known so unfavourably. All are being given nicknames in my book but the incidents that happened are real. Perhaps a few will read about themselves one day, and other readers who have known me in their past will know who are the nick-named.

Being AS-autistic, I still encounter prejudice in many ways but at this time in my life I've become more outspoken and I'm not the least bit afraid to confront my opponents. It is really, I mean REALLY amazing how cowardly a lot of those jerks really are. I've even acquired a satisfaction in watching those kinds of people crumble in front of me
Do I sound vindictive? Well too bad! By now I've become like a dog that's been kicked too many times.

I was in my late 30's when I was bullied at work in that nursing home and then wrongfully dismissed. I would have loved to be in the same room with all my old colleagues just to watch them read their personal copies of my exposé, The Women They Couldn't Hang which I sent after the event. So far, there hasn't been any feed back -and I dare them!

Thank-you all for sharing.

Last edited by Papillon on 14 Mar 2006, 9:15 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Oh don't get me started...

NTs hate us. We aren't part of the pack, so they do everything they can do destroy us (whilst providing themselves lowbrow entertainment in the process). You can't let them get to you though, they honestly aren't worth it. Learn to hate them back. They are pathetic little s**ts who all have the same basic, boring, personality.

At school I lost my temper quite a bit, and the kids thought it was funny to wind me up. I think they may have figured out that I wouldn't actually go through with hurting someone because I wasn't a savage like they were. I later got over that disability, by focusing my hatred of these people enough I could actually bring myself to push the younger kids around a bit and generally make their lives uncomfortable (I know what you are going to say, but they were only NTs). Now as an adult I do jujitsu, and look forward to being capable of an even greater level of violence against NTs (if one if foolish enough to attack me).

SpiderMonkey, it seems to me that you're the one hating people who aren't part of your pack. I'm sure you've had a hard time from some NTs, but how does acting like a bully toward little kids help the situation? Believe it or not, there are a lot of cool neurotypicals. You just have to get to know them first.

You make the whole NT vs. AS thing sound like the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. I won't say which side is which, in order not to offend anyone on this site. The concept, however, is the same. Both Israel and Palestine (West Bank and Gaza Strip) believe that the land they're on rightfully belongs to them and them only. To achieve that, they quote the Torah or the Koran and engage in violence against each other. Similarly, NTs believe that their way and only their way is the right one. When they see someone not practicticing it (e.g. the aspies), they bully them. The intent of bullying is not clear: are they trying to make aspies become NT, or are they doing it simply because they know they can? However, the belief that the NT way and only the NT way is the right one clearly shows the resemblance with the Israeli-Palestinian conflict.