Not being able to decide

Post Reply New Topic

Someone said me: "wanna come to this reception where some investor bank introduces itself?"
I said: "maybe" but a bit later I said "nah I won't go"
Then he said: "it could be interesting for you"
So I said: "ok I'll go anyway".
Then later on MSN he asked: "so will you come"
I replied: "yes"
Then he said: "you don't have to!"
and then I said "ok no I won't come anyway"

Basically, this illustrates something typically myself: not being able to decide things myself and letting others decide for me... Is this common for aspies, and are there some ways to avoid this and actually have my own opinion?

I think it's common for people in general, not just aspies.

I work in a resturant, and ave to seat people. I offer them two rooms, and most of the time they can't make a decision.

I think it's more human nature.

Don't the waiters and waitresses usually pick the table themselves? The only options I've seen presented are table or booth and smoking or non.

True, but I've noticed that with me it can sometimes be a major issue. I've caused major holdups as a result, and also occasionally started crying and/or throwing a tantrum.

No, because my work is budget and all you can eat.

You let them choose because if you don't they throw a wobbly and say I don't want to sit there.

I have found my lack of ability to make a firm decision and lack of enthusiasm for either option both frustrating to me and others. It has also led me to buying half of the shop on numerous occasions because i want to make sure i get everything i want so feel getting everything i like will make sure i havent missed anything.

All my groups of friends have one thing in common when you get more then 4 of them in one place they lose any ability at decision making and stare dithering for hours I can not stand dithering when there is something to be organised so I tend to start making decision for the whole group and my learning to make decision sort of developed from there. Who said intolerance wasn’t the best teacher. Both my defiantly AS friends refuse to make decision well one refuses and the other changes the subject

Yay for leadership by "no one else is going to do anything, are they?"!

Certain things I've pretty 1-sided preference for. Other areas of life I've no clue, need constant help-list of my options & what each of those entail, etc. Then I still can't make up my mind, nothing seems "right enough". Can be infuriating for others because I shoot down their suggestions, yet want them to continue trying. It's wearily confusing for me to be me ! I'm so self-contradictory, constructing this sentence makes me question the accuracy of what I'm writing. Aaargh...

I have an inability to fill in forms because I fill I may make a mistake or make the wrong discision.
For instance on my college application form I accidently put I was female because I was sure what one to tick.
I find it difficult to decide what to do with myselve, and if I'm asked what I should do for my college courses I can't make-up my mind.

I used to have the same problem. I never picked, just nicked someone elses form and copied it.

Sorry if this is a duplicate of something someone else said, I can't read all that many replies just now.

Following the pattern I wonder if it is to do with the literal thinking thing. Someone told you it would be good so you said you would go, then someone said you don't have to so you said you wouldn't. If someone asks me directly to do something then I get on with it - the Army suited me really well, people didn't try to sound as if they were inviting me to take an opportunity (would you like to sit down? To which I am inclined to say no if I don't want to!) they just order. I find it really hard when someone says "you might want to try..." and expects me to actually get on and do it. They have to day "please do x". I am not offended by it, I don't feel that way, I prefer to be absolutely clear about everything. Perhaps you are easily influenced by whatever is said to you at that very moment and take it as 100% true that it will be good?

I have that same problem. That's probably why I'm treated like a ret*d.

I also sometimes have problems to decide...

no.. wait!