Acting oddly in crowds

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Yeah crowds make me tense up and act nervous...especially in ones with attractive girls. Its almost impossible to hold my head up if I see a group of pretty girls walking by...

I have a question. People seem to be focusing on the mental. What I am thinking. Going into my head. Talking to myself in my head.

Do you guys know anything about energy? All human beings have energy. There is an energy field around each of us. When we come in contact with each other, it is common to exchange energy.

If you do not know about energy or do not believe in it, when you feel the effects, you go nuts. You do not understand what is happening so you think it is "all in your head". It is not your head. You are feeling energy but no one ever explained to you what was happening. You are afraid because those feelings are unknown. Everyone is afraid of the unknown.

If you learn about energy, how it feels like, how much you have, how much you can take, etc, etc.....then it is no longer unknown. Your fear should recede.

People who become nervous in crowds usually have grounding problems. You don't have any mental problems or social interaction problems. You are like a piece of bacon on the skillet. You walk into the crowd. The crowds energy is like the fire under the skillet cooking the bacon. Soon the bacon is sizzling and spitting. Just like you sizzle and spit in the crowd.

What you need to do is learn about energy, then do the practice to either establish your ground, or make your current ground stronger. When you do this, the problems you have in crowds will go away for the majority of people.

I think western medicine guys are all wrong about Aspergers. I think they make money out of inventing names for things that human beings have lived with since they came out of caves. There is no money in telling you that you are not grounded. That all you need to do is practice grounding exercises for a year or two and you will be fine. People do grounding exercises on their own. They don't go to doctors and pay 100's of dollars for treatments.

Yes, but if you are drunk, how do you know you are mingling well? Alcohol tends to stop people caring very much about what they do, rather than making them better at actually doing anything (other than drinking more...)

When I was younger, and didn't know why I went into sensory overload, I used to drink lots and lots of alcohol, until it became a problem.

Now I've been sober for 8.5 years, and I go to meetings regularly.
There are some meetings that I will not go to.
For instance, on Saturday mornings, there is a men's stag meeting with a lot of really good sobriety, only problem is that there are close to 100 people there in a small room. I can't stand it.

An example from High School
One Saturday I rode my bike to the bowling alley to play video games.
A guy who new me from high school saw me there, and came to say hello.
I was terrified, I looked at him, tried to say something, just screamed and ran outside.
I'm glad that I know what causes that behavior now, because then I didn't.

I have always felt more comfortable in crowds. I feel more annonymous and as long as I don't do anything overtly weird, no one has any reason to notice me.

What really bothers me is being in a room with just one other person. I feel obligated to do or say something, but I don't know what. And if we get into a conversation, especially if it is someone that I just have a superficial relationship with (like a coworker that I don't directly work with), the conversation never seems to go well. The stuff that other people want to talk about is hard for me to talk about. I have to pretend to be interested, and sometimes can barely even understand what they are trying to say. If they actually want to discuss work, it is OK, but "small talk" is difficult (and pointless). I also have no idea how to end the conversaton, and don't know when I am allowed to leave (or how to indicate that they should leave if it is my office and I have stuff to do).

Wow... I get that too...

You need to learn to be a liar. You need to say things to people that you don't believe. Smile at them. Act interested in what they say. Pretend you are auditioning for Hollywood. Laugh. Joke. Who cares if you don't beleive any of it? As long as it makes the social situation bearable.

That is what everyone else does.

The ending a conversation bit? You need to learn to be rude. When you get tired, say goodbye. Being polite is causing you consternation about when you can end the conversation. Just end it. Say you are done, you had fun, talk to you later.

Don't be afraid to make mistakes. You will probably go thru 100 embarrassing situations before the act becomes familiar enough to be natural.

drinking makes me mean. But I get more akward in some settings over others. I'm afraid Im going to say or do something stupid and it compounds the problem.

I agree with what that guy happeth said. As I've cope generally well asside from the ocassional aniexity and people calling me selfish and self absorbed (which really actually makes me feel terrible).
I'm doing alright at college, though I guess I do have difficulty with telling people I don't want to speak to them.
I just ignore them and tell them to p*iss off.
I just hate people touching me without warning, like hugs and crowds of people make me anxious.
Whilst you don't have to do anything, if you want to socialise with people the best way is to try.
I find it easier to talk to strangers as you can get away with alot more, as you may never met them again. People I have to see each and everyday really murder me I begin to loathe them (asside from a few with endearing personalities).

mark wrote

I have experianced parties drunk, and not drunk, and this is the conclusion I have come too.

It is a lot easier for me, in my personal opinion, to mingle, and associate with drunk people, when I am drunk, rather then when I am sober.. When I drink, I dont get so drunk that I dont know what im doing, I get a little buz going, a little active personality comes out, and its time to play... Thats kinda how it is, get my drift?

It's still all in your head.
I have long thought that people with Asperger's have an increased sensitivity to the energy fields around individuals and groups. It could very well be a grounding problem. However, as yet there are no studies that I know of that have proven this one way or the other. If there were, it would probably have to come out of the schools of Eastern psycology as they are more willing then the western schools to accept the necessary premisies.
If you know of any such study, I would be happy to read it.

As for now, I have to conclude that the sensations of energy fields and groundedness rest mostly in the minds of those experiencing them, and it is there that we have to look for solutions.

You are wrong. Knowing about energy and using it as a means of health diagnosis or health maintanence does not make anyone money. Drugs and blood tests and machines make people money. In my opinion, that is why western medicine has gone out of their way to put down talk of energy and healing.

All I can offer is my personal opinion. Human beings do have energy. They can train it and control it. Lack of energy will lead to very specific and usual health problems. Extreme sensitivity to the presence of others is a very common sign of someone who has weak energy. Their boides cannot deal with the extra energy they get from the other people they are around.

One man wrote me and asked about grounding. There is so much written about it that it is difficult to give a particular answer without knowing people's likes and dislikes. One sure fire way to develop grounding is to sit on your haunches. Have you ever seen Asian people sit on their haunches? If a person sits like that whenever they can, over the course of years they will develop a strong ground.

Grounding or any other type of energy work is a slow process. It is not like a pill that you take and immediately get better. You have to have the will power to practice literally for 2 or 3 years before you might feel you are getting verifiable results from your training.

I'm curious?
You told me that I was wrong, then you seemed to agree with everything that I wrote.
I have no problems with holistic therapies, or transpersonal psycology.
My main statement was the problems are mostly psycological.
I am a big, huge fan of Eastern Psycology.

One of us is not comprehending something. I see you plainly say the equivalent of "Energy is all a figment in the head". I wrote that I completely reject that claim.

You keep saying energy and psycholoy with the same meaning. They are not the same. Whatever Eastern Psychology is, energy of the human body is something completely different.

I said no such thing.
What I said was

I do not deny that such energy fields exist.
Yet, lacking scientific proof, claims as to the existence of these energy fields are intuitive.
Thus, the the sensations of these energy fields rest mostly in our minds.
It becomes a phycological problem rather then a biological one.
Even if we had scientific proof, we would still have to state that how these energy fields effect an individuals perceptions is still predominantly a phycological problem.

Let's take an example.
I have Asperger's Syndrome.
The bio/chemical properties of this condition make me susceptable to percieving the world, myself, and my place in the world along certain perameters. However, how I percieve these things is attributable more to my phycological state then my bio/chemical one. Otherwise all Aspies would share the same perceptions which, the empirical evidence on WP dictates, would be a fallacy.

I see. You do not feel that both statements say the same thing? I think many people would interpret the two statements the same. I paraphrased because I was being lazy. I purposefully said "the equivalent of".



To me? It looks like you are saying "I didn't say that energy is a figment in the head, I said it was all in the mind, MIND. I didn't say "figment in the head, I said psychological thing in the mind.". I feel you are playing word games.