Accepting compliments

Post Reply New Topic

I'm terrible at taking criticism, it upsets me & hurts, and it easily "sinks in" (permeates my sense of self). I like receiving compliments, but am utterly confused by them-they don't make sense applied to me.

Having the polite words to say & go through motions of speaking isn't my problem, it's that I don't believe-cannot accept-the compliments as true/valid/real. Whether or not I believe other person is being honest, I can't see/understand why he/she likes something about me. Can't absorb (yet I crave) positive feedback. My reactions are frustratingly counterproductive.

And more than likely the person is just trying to be nice.

I've never took compliments well either.

I don't like other people's attention unless I purposely attempt to gain it myself.

This hasn't worked well for me in my medical career.
Working in EMS, I got a couple of awards and thanks from folks, but I felt REALLY uncomfortable to the point I didn't show up once when the mayor was giving some citation to me and my partner for something we had done. All we did was try to bring this guy back to life.. just like every EMT does practically every week... in a busy system that is.

At the hospital I work at now, we have STAR cards you can fill out when someone does something really good, considerate, etc.
During our dept. meetings, the cards are read outloud and handed to the person written about.
I usually avoid that part of the meeting if I can.
I don't go to parties where we exchange gifts either... something about getting a gift in that setting makes me feel weird.

Anyway, it's all about unwanted attention and praise directed at me.... I just don't care for it.

I also get uncomfortable when someone tells me how good looking I am... what do I say to that?
I had a nurse tell me the other night that she thought I was sexier without my beard.
She knows I'm recently divorced and now I keep wondering if she was just saying that to be nice, or if she really meant it, and if she did mean it does it mean anything else?

Too much to think about.

hate compliments. *mutter*

it's difficult for me to give them as well. would rather lick a toilet seat. and i'm very OCD about other-people-goo, if that says anything

I've always had trouble with being complimented. I'm uncomfortable with people paying attention to me. I have noticed that I'm much more comfortable with compliments on my work or something I've done than a compliment towards me personally.

It seems there's no good way to respond. "Thank you" and a smile works, but it feels very stiff and awkward. Acknowledging the comment in a positive way seems conceited, and denying it makes you look like you have low self esteem.

I like to compliment people when I really mean it, but I try to keep it impersonal. I've always thought complimenting someone you don't know on their personality or appearance is weird and it's too easy for them to take it the wrong way.

I am a lot better at this now. I used to ignore them because I didn't want to seem full of myself and that I fed off them, but it just made me come across as rude.

Someone over at intensity hit me up about this, and I've learned to except a complement well.

I always enjoy compliments.

Exactly the dilemma !
Plus, I dislike going through polite verbal motions (say what I'm supposed to say) when that's not my natural, genuine reaction.
On some level I appreciate positive feedback, but on another level I cannot take it in, assimilate, accept, integrate it (yet negative criticism sticks to my mind like velcro). If bad stuff is "square" and good stuff is "triangle", it's a bit like having only square-shaped receptors in my brain-and I can't get the triangular material to seep in, instead it bounces around on the outside (like oil floating in a slick, on water). Then I feel all wriggly (not in a good way, but anxious, vulnerable and confused) because I can't deal with the compliment. Criticism makes me feel bad, but it makes effortless sense, is absorbed instantly, and never leaves my mind.

I tend to think that the world really can't have enough of them.