Do you feel like no one accepts you for who you are?

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No one knows me well enough to accept me or reject me. I like it like that. I have been a guarded and a monastic person since I was young and it works for me.

I don't suppose it would matter in the long run of my life if someone decides they don't care for me - it's what I think of me that truly matters. There are only 3 people in this life that feel they know me well, they know me better than most, I suppose, but not as well as they think.

I have felt this way at times, a lot when I was younger, but now that I am older the less I care, and somehow it seems that more people are excepting me becasue I don't care.

I don’t think any body excepts me for who I am because no one really knows. I think I was trained into this roll or “acting normal” to well I am more open with my close friends but I still hold a lot back and now I am to sard to open up complete encase I lose them. I know that if they don’t except me for who I am there not good friends but I have become a very social person I need interaction. Plus a lot of my friends have issues that could cause problem if I were to open up. I’m not even sure anymore what is me and what was learned through all the “therapy”.

Hey SpaceCase! I totally understand what you are going through. I'm only 15 and in the 11th grade. I have always hid things that I thought people wouldn't like about me. And up until this year I've never been able to fully be myself. I am also Bi, so I can relate on another level. I just told my parents that I was Bi a few months ago and they were like totally shocked. But I think that with time your parents will recognize that you are still their daughter and they need to except you for who you are. I just think that maybe they are still in the shock stage, I guess you could say that alot of parents go through shock and denial. Well I'm not sure if I was able to help you but I hope things get better. -Nikki

I can totally relate. For years, I have just conformed to whoever people wanted me to be. I was so busy making other people happy that I wasnt happy. I love meeting new people and making new friends and you seem like a very nice guy. Email me sometime.

I'm 37. At this point I'm totally honest with people. If they don't like me, screw'em. I'm not here to impress them. If they can't accept me for who I am, then they are not good people to begin with.

I wonder, if I lived by myself, I'd have any reason to want anything to do with my father again.

I've moved around too often in the course of my life to have too many friends. Some of them have faded away through lack of contact. There are others whom I could contact, but doing so would be so awkward now that there would be no point. I think I can count all my friends on one hand. Then, of course, there are online friends, most of whom I have not met. There are a few professors and old teachers who's opinions I still value. And then there's Serissa.

I don't know what "in" you're all trying to fit into. There's many other things besides the norm, so I choose to remain myself and forsake the waste of time that is trying to appease the majority of the population by changing my thoughts, attitudes, and beliefs. If you're yourself, you'll evantually aquire other frineds with similar beliefs an dthoughts as you. Keep trying to fit in with the self-proclaimed "popular" people, and you'll end up sad because it'll all be a facade. If poeple ask me about myself, I'm going to be honest. If they don't like it, oh well. I don't quite understand the idea of acceptance, but anyone who's ever gotten to know me says I should never change. I'm a talked about peson this year in school; not because I'm trying to be "popular", but because I've socially evolved and grown a lot over the years and have shed a few unwanted traits and am just beginning to grip the basics of conversation. While I still don't like most people, I get the impression that most people like me. I really could care less, but it's nice to know that there's only a few people I know of who hate me. My family, friends, and most other poeple accept me for who I am. I'm polite, moral, and honest about myself. And ego-centric, but a trait like that helps keep my self-confidence from plummiting.

I seemed to have wondered far off topic. Oh well, it happens. My mind wanders like that sometimes, but it's still a nice rant.

This is the crux of what I keep struggling with, in terms of self-acceptance. How to nurture self-esteem & believe others accept me as the person I am-whatever that even means ?
Haven't made it to level where I can say "I don't care what they think about me". Been told by a few folks that it would do me good, but don't have the emotional fortitude to believe in myself/feel strong around others.

I feel exactly the same as you. I constantly second-guess myself and wonder if I'm a worthy human being, so the comments of others really cut deep.
I'd love to be more blase about social acceptance but it is a big deal for me.

Oh well, I'm doing better at it than I used to so something's going right

People who are not psychologically, spiritually, emotionally mature can be cruel. Sometimes even those who are can appear cruel, but they usually get over it and apologize quicker for their poor behavior.

I've learned to accept myself more and more as the years have progressed.

Today I am a teacher with classrooms full of autistic children and children with other non verbal learning disabilities. I have an immediate bond with these kids, and we relate to each other in ways that people on the autisitic spectrum really can. I have also found friends and acceptance with those colleagues who have a real passion for working with people who are autisitic. They can look past my flaws to pull out my strengths. In turn, I can look past theirs.

The biggest questions I have today involve people that I am interested in forming intimate relationships with. I wonder how they will accept me, and how they will react when their mere presence can sometimes send me merrily stimming away. At least today I have the words to tell them what's going on.

Hey lit guy hows jersey ? I'm going back to visit for Thanksgiving after 17 years.
I need to fill up ate the White Castles for sure.Maybe Maine Lobster as well

It's funny, I posted my letter of warning and apology ( http://wrongplanet.net/modules.php?name ... pic&t=7119 ) on another site, and this woman harassed me for apologizing for something I "can't help." I replied by saying if I didn't take/admit responsibility it would piss people off (rightly so, though i didn't say it there). She replied that at thirty-some-odd years, she had decided that if people didn't like her, so be it.

She also likes to post pictures of self-mutilation she's done, and she's probably more mentally ill than I am overall, even not factoring age in.

There are some worse things in life than trying to go peacefully through it when you can.

((Might I add that I'm not bashing self-mutilators but rather pointing out that her attitude hasn't helped a lot. I'm motivated to change and havn't cut for over a year, and want to get 'completely better" or damn close-to, rather than look my whole life for people who will tolerate me as a wreck. Sorry. I've been waiting to talk about that for awhile, she was really pissing me off and harassing me about something which I believe was totally right to do in every way- the apology part I mean.))

In summary: I would far, far rather be loved for who I'm not than hated for who I am, if I put effort into being someone loveable. I want my effort recognized.

...who has moved THIRTY TWO TIMES in her nineteen years. Anybody here have me beat? Plus I'm a basket case (see above link) and kind of bizarre even whe I'm in my own version of normal (I suspect my personality, even if mentally healthy, would still be weird- and no, I'm not counting AS as a mental illness in this sense), so, imagine the amount of friends I had in high school. ((Teachers, sadly, do NOT count! And yes, I was one of THOSE annoying little budding type-A "kissasses.")) I can get off my first hand counting my friends now, which is a pretty cool thing to be able to do IMO.



I'm in a bizarre, unique situation where I'm pretty sure neither of my parents feel "obligated" to have very much to do with me. It's nervewracking when I piss them off but might actually be viewed in a pretty positive light.

Last edited by Serissa on 08 Nov 2005, 2:53 pm, edited 1 time in total.

nobody gives a crap about me , so i should do the same for them. eventually ill be more known. but im used to this kind of life alone with out having to worry who cares cause nobody ever did.

That is my life as well.