How do I know which times to say good-bye to someone?

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When there is a group of people gathered in a public place, milling around and making small talk sometimes
people say good-bye to group members before leaving and sometimes they just leave. In fact, the same
person will say good-bye to some members and not to others, even though they seem to have spoken to everyone and
are on a first name basis with them. What is the difference? How do I know if I am being rude to just silently
leave?

I would just say bye to the group it is much less stress.

But the people in the group are milling about talking. They are involved with each other. It seems that
sometimes people interrupt to say goodbye and sometimes they don't. AGH!

What I generally do in group situations, is sort of anounce to the group in general that I'm off (& maybe give a little wave because my voice is kind of quiet), then I smile goodbye if I catch anyone's eye. If nobody's watching, I'd normally just turn to the person beside me or the person I know the best and tell them I'm off (so if I get mugged/murdered, the police would hav a more accurate time frame )- then I'd leave. The rest of the group would find out from that person if they really wanted to know. Often a couple of people will notice me walking away, so I usually wave goodbye to them too if they shout 'bye'...

Yeesh, i never realised how complex it was until i just re-read this... lol

Are you NT or ASD?

Say goodbye to the people that are really important to you. But of course if everyone's milling about, they probably won't notice who leaves and who arrives; it's hard to keep track. Do YOU notice when others leave?

I always do a quick tour around the room and say 'see ya' to the few people I'm close to or have had good conversation with, unless they're engaged, in which case I won't bother. You're likely to see them again soon anyway.

try to get their attention to the point their eyes are looking at you and tell them ou have to leave. If you are really busy and ahve to leave they will not make a big deal out of it if you do not say good bye. It would be much more preferable to say good bye when you leave as much as you can.

Sometimes when I am trying not to be intrusive or rude and I just
leave, later they say, "Why didn't you say good-bye? You hurt my feelings."
or "People were wondering why you just left like that."

Other times, I have tried to stand near the people to wait for a pause in
the conversation to say goodbye and they ignore me and I can't get a word in.

or if I do, they act annoyed.

I never know what to do!

Maybe you should find some new friends. These people are starting to sound like the idots I hung out with when I was in high school (they were real losers). You seem be trying to do the right thing, but everytime you do it does not work out. If they are not being sensitive abot you leaving for whatever reason then they are not worth hanging out with. When they say you hurt their feelings they might be kidding, high school NT's do that . If they ask why you left just tell them you were busy. If they still have a problem after that I would definitely reccomend some new friends.

They aren't actually friends. They are just people who are acquainted with me through various groups my kids belong to-- school, church, extra curricular activities, etc.

I usually just walk away unless they are really good friend Just say bye to all of them. Sometimes I say bye and sometimes I don't. That's a tough one.

Most people that I would have to say bye (or hello) to I have established with them that I don't do bye. Unless they say it first really.

Well crap ok fine sometimes I say bye, but really only to people who's 1v1 attention I can have for the fraction of a second it takes. Otherwise -- like at the end of a staff meeting -- I just slip out the back. People don't even know I'm 5 blocks away by the time they are all finished saying their pathetic byes.

BWAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA

usually when other people start saying it is a good time--- it says everyone's leaving anyway. But if I have to leave first, I'll tell them I have to leave early and then they start saying goodbye and I can then say it, too. Basically, when I hear someone else saying it, it means I can say it, too, and it won't be strange.

I like that, and you just made me realize I've done that in the past. Don't say bye, say "ohhh lookit that I gotta get going" "BYE [ducexcrew] (gtfo)" "Bye (people I don't really like)!"

I've often wondered the same thing, about both hello and goodbye. Many times I've had the same person greet me or say goodbye on some days, but not on others. And many times I have said hi or bye and the person did not respond even though they clearly heard me. On other days the same person will say it to me first. If there is any pattern to it, I haven't deciphered it.