Eating at a Friends Place

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Alright, this is something that I've had trouble with all my life. I meet someone, they actually like me and don't write me off, and somewhere down the line I'm in a position where I have to eat at their place.

Now I'm a picky eater (as I see many here are) but usually I can find something that I will eat or I will go without, I have no problem going hungry for a while. My problem is that I find some people seem to get quite insulted when you don't want to eat a particular item, especially when they cooked it. It doesn't matter if I loved another dish that they had, if I pass over one (or two, or more, depending on the size of the meal... many of these are for occasions like Thanksgiving) dish, they seem to focus on that. Worse is when they have a single dish meal that I dislike and I've already stated that I was hungry. (Yeah, many times I will simply pass it off as "I'm not really hungry right now" and wait till I'm home.)

I was wondering if anyone had ways to not insult people like this. I've tried explaining it (which only works on a few people), and deflecting it by saying how much I liked something else. I even tried once just eating everything... that didn't go very well at all, I didn't look at food for a week and they still knew I disliked it (probably something to do with the way I was washing down every bite, having trouble swallowing, and slowly changing colour).

Any help would be much appreciated.

This is a tough problem for me as well. I've found that the best way to approach it - and it's far from perfect, but it seems less embarrassing than the alternatives I have tried - is to tell people in advance that I'm a finnicky eater if I know that I'm going to be having dinner with them. If I unexpectedly end up in a situation where I'm eating with somebody else, I just try to do the best I can and try not to draw attention to myself (if it's a large crowd).

Most people will tell you to just tough it out and eat whatever you're served, but I get the sense that most people who say that don't have a lot of recent experience dealing with food aversions. Gagging on something and getting sick is unpleasant for you, and it's a lot more embarrassing and hurtful than declining food.

Yeah, I only tried the "force yourself to eat it" routine the one time, NEVER again. Also (I guess this question kinda goes with the other one) how do you tell people that you are a picky eater without sounding... well, like you are picky for the sake of being picky? ...if that makes any sense...

FOOD ALLERGIES. every american can comprehend this. if you explain to people that you are allergic to whatever it is you can't bear to swallow, they usually lay off and might even graciously cater to your special needs. especially if you claim it is life threatening.

i live in the South and i HATE mayonaise. people look at you like you've lost your mind because you don't want a pound of mayo on your sandwich, so i just say i am allergic and it's all good.

and it is not quite lying because eating something you find foul will indeed make you sick. i tried to eat turnip greens to be nice recently and i gagged it in directly into a napkin.

allergies can also develop later in life so it's not that far out there that you suddenly "developed" an "allergy."

Merrybexxmas's advice is quite good if there are certain groups of foods you dislike. You do have to be a bit careful - e.g. if you said you're allergic to mayonnaise, but at the same time had no trouble with other dairy products and other things that contain eggs, you might get caught in a lie.

Hopefully in the end, your friends will be decent enough to understand your food quirks, whether they're due to allergies, aversions, or just plain pickiness. For me, it's a pretty good filter for potential friends, since I've never eaten a salad in my life, dislike a lot of cooked vegetables, and don't drink any alcoholic beverages. I know and everybody else knows that the vegetable aversion makes my diet really messed up, but my friends know that it's my issue to deal with, and they give me my space.

Yes... this is a HUGE problem and it pisses me off ALLL the time. I went hiking with a friend and he made some trail mix, I dont want nuts at all, and it seriously went on for like 10 mins that it was such a big deal for him to have me eat it, and I kept refusing, it really started pissin me off.

Often I will eat out at friends houses, and my pickyness doent go unnoticed at all. I get almost forced to try this... try that, and its really uncompfortable because if you dont you are rude, but I think it would be even ruder if I started gaging up on it, I had a friend who kept insising in front of his family that I eat these mushrooms, and the mushy textrue just makes me wanna hurl, I did it to make him leave me alone but its just not something I can handel doing often at all, and their just isnt any way I can explain it to him so I much rather prefer eating alone here at home.

Is there any kind of food that doesn't make you sick? You've gotta eat something....

Well, its nice to know I'm not alone . There is a lot of things that I'll eat that are really easy to make: raw veggies, normal meats (certain sauces just... yeah) rice, breads, I mean, with just those four things I can usually find something I like. There are MANY more things, just putting down big groups. Dislikes are just biggies... main problem ones being potatoes, anything tasting eggie, cooked veggies, and fungus.

Well, thx for the replies guys. From the list above, I can't really say that I'm allergic, so I guess I'll just have to grin and bear it. *sigh*