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Eggman
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13 Dec 2008, 1:49 am

How many time must someone post this question? Yes to empathy Yes to caring. And I have to ask that about NTs.



Naturella
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13 Dec 2008, 1:55 am

Eggman wrote:
How many time must someone post this question? Yes to empathy Yes to caring. And I have to ask that about NTs.

Heh... Then there is a great philosophical question arises (still unresolved):
If a tree fell in the forest and made a cracking sound.. But nobody heard that sound... Was there any sound at all? Did that sound really exist?



Nutterbug
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13 Dec 2008, 1:59 am

Naturella wrote:
Eggman wrote:
How many time must someone post this question? Yes to empathy Yes to caring. And I have to ask that about NTs.

Heh... Then there is a great philosophical question arises (still unresolved):
If a tree fell in the forest and made a cracking sound.. But nobody heard that sound... Was there any sound at all? Did that sound really exist?

If there were compression waves within the audible frequency range emitted, then of course it did.



Eggman
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13 Dec 2008, 2:52 am

Nutterbug wrote:
Naturella wrote:
Eggman wrote:
How many time must someone post this question? Yes to empathy Yes to caring. And I have to ask that about NTs.

Heh... Then there is a great philosophical question arises (still unresolved):
If a tree fell in the forest and made a cracking sound.. But nobody heard that sound... Was there any sound at all? Did that sound really exist?

If there were compression waves within the audible frequency range emitted, then of course it did.

audibl;e to who?



Nutterbug
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13 Dec 2008, 2:59 am

Eggman wrote:
Nutterbug wrote:
Naturella wrote:
Eggman wrote:
How many time must someone post this question? Yes to empathy Yes to caring. And I have to ask that about NTs.

Heh... Then there is a great philosophical question arises (still unresolved):
If a tree fell in the forest and made a cracking sound.. But nobody heard that sound... Was there any sound at all? Did that sound really exist?

If there were compression waves within the audible frequency range emitted, then of course it did.

audibl;e to who?

To the human ear.



Eggman
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13 Dec 2008, 3:11 am

Nutterbug wrote:
Eggman wrote:
Nutterbug wrote:
Naturella wrote:
Eggman wrote:
How many time must someone post this question? Yes to empathy Yes to caring. And I have to ask that about NTs.

Heh... Then there is a great philosophical question arises (still unresolved):
If a tree fell in the forest and made a cracking sound.. But nobody heard that sound... Was there any sound at all? Did that sound really exist?

If there were compression waves within the audible frequency range emitted, then of course it did.

audibl;e to who?

To the human ear.

which human?



Nutterbug
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13 Dec 2008, 3:12 am

Eggman wrote:
Nutterbug wrote:
Eggman wrote:
Nutterbug wrote:
Naturella wrote:
Eggman wrote:
How many time must someone post this question? Yes to empathy Yes to caring. And I have to ask that about NTs.

Heh... Then there is a great philosophical question arises (still unresolved):
If a tree fell in the forest and made a cracking sound.. But nobody heard that sound... Was there any sound at all? Did that sound really exist?

If there were compression waves within the audible frequency range emitted, then of course it did.

audibl;e to who?

To the human ear.

which human?

One who's not deaf.



Benjamming
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13 Dec 2008, 3:18 am

Naturella wrote:
Nutterbug wrote:
I figure Aspies are driven more by a sense of logical justice moreso than compassion.

If you mean that they rather tend to judge whether a person who is suffering deserved the suffering (i.e. is it fair that he is suffering? is it his blame?) then what kinda caring about other's are we talking about?
Ok, I think the question of this tred should be specified. Because people here post answers to different questions, mainly two
1. Are aspies interested in others (or only interested to think and talk about themselves)?
2. Do aspies feel compassion towards others?(i.e Are they able to simpathise?)
So, as long as it is not clear what the question really is, there is no point in the discussion.. (((


1. Yes. I'm interested in people whom I care about. In the company of friends, I'm far less likely to talk about myself unless prodded. I think its pretty unfair to judge someone's empathy based on a text based medium which is inherently impersonal. This is a place designed to offer support to AS and ASD people, of course you're going to get people talking about their troubles - some of us find it really hard to do anywhere else.
2. Again, yes toward the people I care about, and on a broader scale - sympathy for civilian deaths in war for example. Its the display of compassion that gets us in trouble. Its incredibly difficult to comfort someone when you don't know the rules of what to say and when its ok to offer physical comfort.
My close friends tell me I am very good at seeing all sides of a situation, and not judging people unfairly. I seem to do well offering comforting, logical advice instead of noises of sympathy. On the other hand, casual friends and colleagues may well have a much different opinion of me (I haven't asked, 'coming out' in a general way about my AS is my next hurdle in life) because I don't automatically know when to express sympathy or interest. I'm working on it, but as I mentioned above I don't know all the rules of the game.



Mishi_Sings
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15 Dec 2008, 10:27 pm

averin wrote:
Can they feel empathy? If something bad happens to you, do they actually care about your welfare, or do they only care about how it'll influence your treatment of them? If they are kind to you, is it actually because they want you to feel better, or do they just want you to see them as a better person?


f**k YES.

Well, at least, I'm an aspie, and I'm like that.


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richardbenson
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16 Dec 2008, 1:05 am

im getting too old now and have been out of the loop far too long socially to care about someone elses life. i cant pretend i like "whats going on in the life" because i dont. it sounds terrible but its the truth :lol:


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Padium
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16 Dec 2008, 2:56 am

I care about people, can't express it worth a d***, but hey, thats ok. I can tell what your feeling, but why should I feel it too? I've had relatives die, and for most people it looks like I don't care, but its not that I don't care, its that I show I care very differently... ie: not at all generally. I want to show compassion, but that doesn't come naturally, for me its like "yeah, thats great, now could you say something insightfull?" Thereare however very big exceptions to this. My immediate family is one of them, and a couple really close friends... Although it generally comes out as concern rather than empathy.



matrix
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27 Dec 2008, 10:59 pm

This misallocated empathy almost killed a relationship with a close friend i had. It is really hard to express my feelings on the phone (lack of nonverbal exp. that might help). This friend will probably never understand my AS since I hide other traits so darn well. I end up getting a response that i am just being silly weird as usual and don't really care. I wish I could just comprehend normalcy in that situation. Otherwise, I feel like a monster.


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MizLiz
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28 Dec 2008, 4:28 am

Shivani wrote:
I know I can feel empathy, and I know my AS son does too.

But to show compassion feels fake and phony to me for some reason.

This is how I feel. If someone's telling me about their problems, I can relate to them and feel bad, but I can't express it because it feels contrived to do so (just like most of my emotions... like love and gratitude... feel contrived. This is why I ask people not to get me anything for Christmas. I can't say thanks because it feels fake even when it isn't). Even if I'm crying, it feels fake.

Maybe it's because I relate things to movies so often. In movies when people are talking and one is crying, you're supposed to make physical contact. Since I can't, that makes me a bad actress.



Nutterbug
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28 Dec 2008, 4:32 am

I could say I feel concern for others.

Compassion seems a bit too deep though.



Maditude
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28 Dec 2008, 9:54 am

I feel, but sometimes there is a huge disconnect between what I am feeling and what I am showing.


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MsKate
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30 Dec 2008, 7:27 am

I feel empathy and compassion deeply for other people or animals who have been marginalized by society. I even donate money and volunteer my assistance to charitable causes.

I have very little empathy or compassion for neurotypicals who have treated me with no empathy or compassion for most of my life. I am, in fact, amazed when people who treat me as if I were less than human on a day to day basis expect me to be all sympathetic if they have a bad day. Not gonna happen. My troubles have been a source of amusement and derision for the "normal" people around me for as long as I can remember. But if I respond in the same way to their troubles, I'm lacking in compassion. :roll: