I've been telling some people that once I have 510 friends on there, I would reveal "a BIG part of what shapes my personality." I've even told one that just like race, creed, sexual orientation, religion, and other categories that make up who we are, I am going to reveal something that shapes who I am.
(Asperger's would fall under the "Disability" or "Handicap" category. If it's something we're born with, it's put on the same spectrum as race, religion, and the rest of that.)
I now have 506 friends. I must prepare the rest of my set of notes very soon.
Now, here's how I've written them so far. The notes are currently saved as private drafts and their bodies are up to 750 words each so they aren't too long a read.
Quote:
Title: Official Admission: I have Asperger's Syndrome (Part I)
<h1>Foreword</h1>
Some will think "TL;DR" if the note is too long, therefore I’ll limit each installment to 750 words, place the overflow in a "Part II" and beyond as necessary.
This note stayed private until I gained my <b>510th friend</b> on Facebook. I chose 510 as the threshold instead of 500 because now that I've surpassed such a wonderful milestone, I don't want to slip back below it.
<h2>Passive pruning of narrow-minded "friends"</h2>
I predict up to 10 friends will defriend me upon reading my admission that I have Asperger's. I have never rejected a friend request nor taken anyone off my friend list even once since I've had Facebook, but this note is a form of "passive friend pruning." I'll let narrow-minded individuals take me off of their list because I don't need narrow-minded people in my life; if they cannot accept me <i>especially</i> for what I was <u>born with</u>, they were more likely to be a hindrance all along anyway.
<h2>Date of Draft Creation</h2>
I started the entry on Monday morning, September 8, 2008, underwent revisions thereafter, and saved it as a "Draft" until somebody became my 510th friend here.
<h1>Onto the subject at hand</h1>
For quite a long time now, I've hesitated revealing my Asperger's Syndrome to other people save for psychologists, (some) family members, and very few friends. The reason why was because I've been bitten for it multiple times.
<h2>I'd often be treated worse for revealing it</h2>
Instead of cutting me slack, some peers would pick on me more, so I kept it under wraps until I knowing someone whom I thought I could trust with this information. Some of Those people still liked me less even though I was confident their stance toward me would either get better, or at least remain unchanged.
Therefore, I haven't revealed it to even some of my best friends, fearing being liked less by them as well. I had no idea how Kyle Baack and Jacob Holland would react to my coming forward with this "new development" so I kept it from them as well for a long time. Now that they'll have seen this note, I hope to hear from them their reactions.
<h2>Issues surrounding Asperger’s in Japan</h2>
Another set of guys helped me a lot back in Japan - Garrett Fine and Craig Henry. (It is quite likely that Garrett will have taken me off his friends list by the time I posted this. If so, he'll have missed out!) Every little inkling of rejection from anyone anywhere hurt still, so I kept it from them (Unsure about Garrett; maybe Armstrong told him while I wasn't present?) in case they were going to like me less.
I only told Andrew Armstrong (the guy with a shouldered chip) and Robert Hyde because I was drunk enough not to care one night. (Since Japan, drinking at parties isn’t so appealing now.) Hyde said Asperger’s was a "beautiful disease" and sounded quite accepting about it. He even said geniuses have Asperger’s too, and something about Asperger's makes them more academically intelligent than the norm, so I had hidden talents too. (Yes, I do.)
<h3>Hyde's "Tatemae"</h3>
Garrett warned me about the concept of "<i>Tatemae</i>" (outer, shown feelings) and "<i>Honne</i>," (inner, true feelings.) It turned out Hyde was only giving me good tatemae.
Robert even took me off his friends list in June for some reason; when I told him about my finding this out, he claimed that his sister called him (ALL THE WAY FROM BRITAIN?!) just to tell him to take another guy named "Christian" off of his list because the fiancé betrayed her, and since he was so drunk early in the morning, he deleted me by mistake. Robert even showed me what the other Christian was he talked about so sounded quite believable in the meantime.
Hyde also claimed to have realized the mistake a few minutes later, and thought, "Oh, if I send him a request to add him back now, he'll realize I took him off." After (apparently) clearing it up, I friended him again; he accepted.
Hyde took me off again on August 7th. He knew now that I've left Japan (and he stayed for 2-3 more weeks until heading back to the UK,) I couldn’t go face-to-face about it. I decided that he harbored some inner ill feeling of me, and since now he'd be on the other side of the world, I'd let him slide.
(Next Topic Continued on Part II)
I revealed it on myspace..because its a huge part of my identity and for many years my mom and a lot of other people told me it was a bad thing and the more they said it i almost believed it..now i love my aspergers. ya it has made conversation and eye contact akward for example i still get teased in class for asking questions and sometimes i do not understand what my parents say the first time they say it...they have to tell me lots of times lol and my friend adam would tell a joke that i would either take seriously or it would go over my head completely but i wouldnt trade it for anything.
18 Dec 2008, 10:21 pm
