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hale_bopp
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19 Jan 2009, 11:19 pm

I am so sick of this, i've had it all my life, no-one ever wants to do anything with me because there is always someone better.

I just snapped at someone who piked on me just then.

It wasn't that much of a big deal, but I'm just so used to it i've had enough.



SilverStar
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19 Jan 2009, 11:52 pm

When I was younger, people would ignore me, brush me off, overlook me, or devalue my opinions. It got really old. It's not as bad as it used to be when I was in school, but it still happens sometimes. I know how you feel about people not wanting to hang out with you. I had this so called "friend" that would only hang out with me when it was convienient for him, or when everyone else was busy. I think he only hung out with me because he knew I was easy to take advantage of.

One thing that ticks me off about people, is when I actually have a good answer, or I am better at something, but they brush you off, and choose someone they like over you.



skzip888
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20 Jan 2009, 5:53 am

I just had to kick two friends to the curb over this. I told Mr. popular that i dint want to play DnD anymore because everyone else started canceling, he called me an as*hole then left. worst part is, I still have to work with these people. The ones who never bothered to show up, are still golden with him, of course.



i_wanna_blue
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20 Jan 2009, 8:35 am

SilverStar wrote:
When I was younger, people would ignore me, brush me off, overlook me, or devalue my opinions. It got really old. It's not as bad as it used to be when I was in school, but it still happens sometimes. I know how you feel about people not wanting to hang out with you. I had this so called "friend" that would only hang out with me when it was convienient for him, or when everyone else was busy. I think he only hung out with me because he knew I was easy to take advantage of.

One thing that ticks me off about people, is when I actually have a good answer, or I am better at something, but they brush you off, and choose someone they like over you.


You just described my childhood. Fortunately, it's not as bad anymore.



drowbot0181
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20 Jan 2009, 9:50 am

I've had that problem all my life. But now I don't have any friends, so... :/



Fnord
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20 Jan 2009, 11:42 am

I don't know what's worse:

- People who are friends with you only when there is no one better available, and who abandon you when someone better comes along.

- People who are friends with you only when you have money and/or are gullible, and who abandon you when they money runs out or when you refuse to be taken advantage of.

At least you now know who your real friends are.


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aleclair
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20 Jan 2009, 10:24 pm

I thought I had a series of good friendships that coincided with entering college but one by one they have disintegrated as people have implied that I am not good enough or interesting enough to be anything more than a bridge from one macroscopic social life to another.

The worst thing is when it's not explicitly stated that something's happened, and it has to be implied. Someone stops hanging out with you and the most conversation you've had with them is "hello", for example. Or someone just disappears off the face of the earth?

You'd think this is just statistics - just a few bad dice rolls - but what's amazing is how consistent the pattern is. But, to mirror the previous post, at least you leave with an idea of who really cares about you.



20 Jan 2009, 11:29 pm

Fnord wrote:
I don't know what's worse:

- People who are friends with you only when there is no one better available, and who abandon you when someone better comes along.

- People who are friends with you only when you have money and/or are gullible, and who abandon you when they money runs out or when you refuse to be taken advantage of.

At least you now know who your real friends are.



Or people who are just your friends because you have stuff they want to use.

Or people who need to have someone to be with and no one else is available so you are the last on their list for them to come to.



LazyGamer
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22 Jan 2009, 7:57 pm

Hm, yes, this does seem very familiar. I don't think I've ever had an actual "true" friendship. I've always been the "because I've got nothing better to do" guy when it comes to socializing.

But I may just be overlooking something. Wouldn't surprise me in the least.



Tim_Tex
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22 Jan 2009, 8:43 pm

Sometimes I feel the same way.



zen_mistress
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24 Jan 2009, 4:04 am

I often feel the same too. I sort of developed a thick skin a while back and I dont really let such people get close to me until I feel that they are for real.



JennaStraznik
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24 Jan 2009, 3:38 pm

I have no friends either. It gets too rough on one's emotions to be someone's "last choice" all the time.

I realized eventually I was wasting way too much time on this, and even ignored dating just to find more time to spend with so-called girlfriends who just let me along for the ride. It was a mistake. These days, I just concentrate on finding a nice guy who will like me. It seems dating is easier; your boyfriend or girlfriend *likes* you for the fact you are different. Many people (especially high school students) only want friends who think and act like they do.


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crisco
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24 Jan 2009, 8:43 pm

aleclair wrote:
I thought I had a series of good friendships that coincided with entering college but one by one they have disintegrated as people have implied that I am not good enough or interesting enough to be anything more than a bridge from one macroscopic social life to another.

The worst thing is when it's not explicitly stated that something's happened, and it has to be implied. Someone stops hanging out with you and the most conversation you've had with them is "hello", for example. Or someone just disappears off the face of the earth?

You'd think this is just statistics - just a few bad dice rolls - but what's amazing is how consistent the pattern is. But, to mirror the previous post, at least you leave with an idea of who really cares about you.


You are not alone. This happens to NTs all of the time. I know a lot of NT friendships that broke off and they never have heard from together for a long time.

This is a normal problem that happens to normal people all of the time. If you do not want that happen, than you need to put the effort into ensuring that relationship occurs.

Sometimes, other people just get lost in the universe of their little world and they just forget. Happens all of the time. What you need to be persistent and to put effort. Make sure that you have boundaries on how you effort you put into. Too much effort will turn off people. But when you found a nice equilbrum, you would be amazed at the results.



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25 Jan 2009, 5:24 pm

hale_bopp wrote:
I am so sick of this, i've had it all my life, no-one ever wants to do anything with me because there is always someone better.

I just snapped at someone who piked on me just then.

It wasn't that much of a big deal, but I'm just so used to it i've had enough.


You're right. Same thing for me but now i'm prefer fiction because fiction it's better than reality

For back to the subject, i'm last for almost everybody. Family include. Life is so hard sometime :(



0_equals_true
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25 Jan 2009, 6:11 pm

People think of themselves, everybody does it. Peaple are creature of habit as well as individuals. If you want to be someone's first choice then you have to tap into thier behavioural patterns somehow or offer them something in return. That is what Derren Brown does.



JerryHatake
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25 Jan 2009, 6:27 pm

hale_bopp wrote:
I am so sick of this, i've had it all my life, no-one ever wants to do anything with me because there is always someone better.

I just snapped at someone who piked on me just then.

It wasn't that much of a big deal, but I'm just so used to it i've had enough.


It has happened to me as well and I got used to it a bit. Still some people do want some things with me because I'm interesting to be around with once you get know me better plus it is fun for me a lot.


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