Generic Plea For Help

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I'm sure this is an issue commonly dealt with and discussed in this forum, but I guess there's nothing wrong with the classics, so here goes.

Problem 1
I fear social contact to the point where I can be resentful of those who are able to achieve it. Even chatting with someone briefly on the Internet is enough to set off internal alarms that something isn't right. If I haven't known someone for a good amount of time, roughly a year, I have trouble saying words while in their presence at all.

Problem 2
I very much would like to have friends. Partially because I would like to resolve the feelings of incompleteness and that I don't belong in the world, but also because regularly weeping in public is getting to be somewhat of an issue, not to mention it wreaks havoc with my street cred. (This was a joke.)

I am confident that someone out there will be able to point me in the right direction, possibly by swooping in dramatically and saving the day. You may begin the swooping process at any time.

there there, wiggles!

I wish I could swoop in and save the day. If it helps you are not alone in not being able to communicate. Okay, it probably doesn't help to know that, but still you are not alone. I guess you could just try making friends slowly, like on a blog or something. That's what I did. If the people were rude or nasty I just got rid of them on my own blog, until I finally got a 'nice' group of people to talk to in my own journal. I still have a lot of trouble on the forums sometimes, but being able to select your friends that you primarily talk to does help a lot.

I have the same problems. Ultimately, I think that you just have to hang in there (I understand how little that actually helps) . It's a little easier in school because working together on projects allows you to interact with others without the focus being on ordinary conversation or social skills. Just try to find social activities that don't require a lot of social skills.

Hi Wiggles,

You just pointed out something that I hadn't realised before, namely the fact that having few friends is caused by needing an extreme amount of time before feeling at ease with someone else. Most (NT) people don't have so much patience. That's quite an insight, thx!

While you helped me a bit, unfortunately I guess I can't help you

Marco

Marco-
You're right about US NTs wanting instant gratification. Instant friends, instant romance, instant happily ever after. What a bunch of crap. Yanno how many mistakes I made trusting others too quickly! I could bore y'all to tears telling my "I thought s/he was a true friend horror story." It's smart to go slow. It's lonely but it's wise.

Wiggles- my advice is to start by finding some older folks who can be more sensitive and understanding about your fears, limitations, etc... people who have alot of life experience tend to be less judgmental.