Has anyone ever tried acting NT?

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At the time, I did not know I had AS, but in middle school, I tried getting new friends and becoming more outspoken. Unfortunately, I was also immature, and ended up looking more abnormal than neurotypical.

What is NT behaviour really? I mean nearly everyone has their own little quirks. Some more than others mind

Most of my problems in life are as a result of 19 years of trying to act NT and failing miserably

warface, I can relate to that very much. And welcome to WP!

Ive tried to act NT but i always fail. I can remember some situations where i did pull it off but was really hard to do.

I guess I'm always trying to have an NT-type of conversation. But there's a couple of things that I'm really not able to - which probably are a vital part of this type of conversation - e.g. I can't make funny remarks and I can't tell everyday life stories.

Hi all,

I can't thank you enough for starting this thread. I've tried to be NT my whole life (I'm 30 presently). At this point in my life, I'm racked by exhaustion in trying to maintain the "act" of an NT. I want to act in the manner natural for me. My problem? I don't know what's natural for me....! I'm so used to second-guessing, doubting, and contradicting my own instincts that I have trouble trusting any of my own urgings.

I would be very interested in hearing from everyone how you act *when you refuse to act like an NT.* In other words, what's your natural mode as opposed to your (fake) NT mode?

Thanks a million for your help!

Dan

shomnec, your first post, wow welcome to WP!

I think you just posted a fascinating question - topic. I'd suggest you start a new thread about it.

I was able to act more like myself when I worked on my guilt about being different and acceptance of who I am through seeing that I'm no worse than others, just different. Then acting as myself came naturally. Little by little.

I act like them but I need a valid reason or else all my motivation to do it vanishes. Here's how I do it.

I read etiquette books about every situation. I read about what to do in a restaurant and then I read about the waiter's etiquette, and that of the manager. That way I get to know what's on the menu (double meaning). It doesn't stop there. I memorize pages of phrases to use at a restaurant. I use this method to learn about other situations like hotels, weddings, business meetings, even business on the black market.

I read about ethics and morals, because these augment whatever social skills I have. They help me to decide what to do in situations that require common sense. I read about the art of conversation and what not to say. I learn certain psychology things such as psychoanalysis. I read about what certain behavior (of others) could indicate. I learn how to manipulate people so that I can avoid being manipulated.

All these things let me get into the mind of NTs. That's what they're good at, but I can be better at it because Hannibal Lecter, who might not have existed, was a professional.

- "I think you just posted a fascinating question - topic. I'd suggest you start a new thread about it."

Why thank you, I think I'll do just that

- "I was able to act more like myself when I worked on my guilt about being different and acceptance of who I am through seeing that I'm no worse than others, just different. Then acting as myself came naturally. Little by little."

The word "guilt" is so true of me, too. I think my process will work like yours did. I'm literally just starting that process now, and I guess that's why I would love to get from other Aspies some clues as to what my normal behavior might look like, so I can watch for it.

(I can just imagine the reaction I would get if I tried explaining this to my NT coworkers and friends, )

For the time being, I'm basically trying to pay attention to my first, instinctual reactions to things, and then *not* suppressing them automatically (as I'm accustomed to doing presently).

So let me post that as a new topic right now....

Dan

Pretending to be NT for me would be a very scary proposition.

I would probably wind up in jail because I could not manipulate my way out of all the horrible, careless, amoral, manipulative, self serving, vicious things I would need to do in the full extent of pretending necessary to convince myself I did a good enough job.

No point pretending to yourself you were pretending if your heart wasn't fully into pretending. That would mean you weren't really pretending at all, so why bother starting in the first place.

I think thats what i have been doing for 30 years,
i didnt discover the AS until i was 31 so i have
always just tried to do and be as others, with
little luck. Actually, i didnt know i was trying,
i just didnt know of anything else. If i peal
off the shell i have learned to put on over
all those years, then the person you find
underneath is very little alike the person
with the shell. The person with the shell
is mainly the way other people are or the
way i think other people expect me to be.
The person withhout the shell is me
I have a hope that maybe one day I`ll
eliminate and snuff out that rotten shell
and forget it all together its not who i am,
its just who i thought i had to be, but i dont.

i find that most people are not bothered by the fact that i have aspergers as long as i appear not to be bothered by it. If i feel uneasy when talking to someone i usually apologies and say i get nervous sometimes in social situations. I find this is best way to be as it puts me at ease and i find they respect me more for my honesty.