Starting a conversation question
The other day I was sitting at lunch when most of my friends went to the library. I then decided to sit with a bunch of girls at another table who also know a few of my friends. This situation was clearly awkward, as they were all talking to each other, and I felt sort of left out. They all know each other, but I dont really know them. How do you start a conversation with people who are friends, but dont know who you are?
That sounds like my life story right there. I definitely do NOT feel comfortable around people I know of but don't know very well at all. I don't know if it's because I feel like it takes me a long time to get to know someone and be comfortable around them. I think part of it may be that I'm just afraid of saying something wrong, considering I don't know them and I don't know what would be offensive or funny or anything. I always have to remind myself that I'm getting worked up over nothing. I also have to remind myself that I'm usually less outgoing in the first place and that I shouldn't have to change that if I don't want to. People can get to know me if they want to. I don't want to think of that attitude as take it or leave it, and for as much as I want people to like me, there's really only so much you can do til you're bending over backwards and that's not fun at all in my book.
Ooops, I think that may have been a social foo-pah. If they were all together and in conversation, you crashed the party. One down already.
Maybe something like looking over, trying to catch someone's eye, saying... my friends left to do something, I've seen you with _____ (name mutual acquaintance)/or I'm also a friend of ______; mind if I join you?
If you can't catch their eye... they're probably too deep in conversation or avoiding yours. Don't bother them at that time... try and make their acquaintance individually in the halls or meal line or...
Trying to break into an established clique is tough... you need to get befriended by one of them somehow and then you'll be brought in. I think if you approach them all at once, they'll just tag you loser and shut you out.
This reminds me of a time that I went out to lunch with some friends and we saw some pretty girls and my friends dared me to hit on them. I got them to let me sit with them with a 'you girls look nice, and my friends are being mean line.' Pretty clever, unfortunately, I didn't have anything to contribute to the conversation since I knew little about them except that they were cheerleaders and they went to school at one of the other high schools (this was the year after i graduated) in our town. So I just sat there for most of the time, not knowing what to say or do. We talked a little about each other's schools but other than that, nothing.
There are people that I know who in the same situation would have thought of things to talk about and know how to pull them out of their conversation and switch topics to something that we all have in common. Darn it.
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