High School and how it affected me.

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I got into a fight with a parent because he thinks that because I don't say high to my old classmates from high school all the time. He says that because he thinks that I am shy and embarrassed to do. I was very shy in High school and I am just afraid that they will think I am the same person anyway. He seems to think that I have to exorsise my so called "demons" and the only way to get to the next level socially is to do this.

Does this have any truth? He doesnt realize that I have made dramatic strides socially this year and I dont see why not always saying high to old classmates would hinder my progress. Obviously I wish I would have done things differently in High School. I really have no great memories of that time and I really make or keep any friends. It has really killed me at Community College because most people who go to community college just hang out with their friends from High School.

I am really trying though. I am going to join a bowling club if enough people sign up and I feel a lot more compfortable with talking with people in my classes. I feel like strides are being made but what he said to me made me feel uneasy, like I am not taking the right path. Is he right?

As a parent, I say he was wrong.. Hiis criticism only damages your self-esteem. I know that even when I know my dad is wrong about something, it still feels bad to not get his approval. Besides, high school is not a fun place for lots of NT people either.

GET OUT OF MY MIND!! !

I know exactly what you mean about saying hi to classmates. Even when i do, my mother never notices, or I didn't say it loud enough. Maybe i should just wear one of those big signs that says "HI" on both sides.

I wasn't a big fan of HS either, and so far ECC has been a bust, especially socially. I know some of the people there from previous years of schooling, but that's quite fruitless. I tried joining a club. Maybe this semester they won't meet during my classes.

It seems to me that NTs won't easily notice our progress. Not unless they're observing us in a glass box. You are the only one who can decide what the right path is. Do what you have to do.

When my mum was walking into school with me (I had to go to a meeting), someone behind me said hi to me, and I didn't reply because people I don't know or like always say hi to me and it's fake because they only go and say mean things about me behind my back afterwards. So my mum says to me, really loud, "Don't be so rude, someone's talking to you!" and then waves to the person, and goes back to telling me off for being "rude". This is so hypocritical, because whenever I complain about being forced to socialise at school, she says I should just get on with my work and ignore everyone else. Well, WTF does she want me to do if I can't even follow her own advice?!

High school changed me as well, they had/have NO control, they change teachers every hour, when they already have SAID they're not gonna do it, and the one teacher that give me disguist just suddenly takes over and BREAKS the system . One of my teachers READ OUT LOUD who we we're going to have at the given times, but they change it, even when they're not ill. They even change my assistants per half-year, and it's too much for me, I must have order. I did get breathing problems and ran into the toilet and stayed there for 1 hour hitting the walls feeling i were going to vomit, and i had the choice of that or a meltdown. Secondary school was the life, my god that was good times, just taking things easy, having the correct teachers at the correct subjects, they didn't change my assistants.... I miss them, i really want to travel back to that time, but now i just begin getting more and more disliking towards the human race, i don't know if i will end up sociopathic or unstable of some sort

He just sees one 'bad' example and immediately assumes this must be the way you act ALL the time. Do you tell him about your efforts? Like the bowling club, talking to class mates, that sort of stuff? Because if you don't tell him, he can't possibly know, and then he'll just assume nothing's happening.

Last week during dinner, my parents suddenly started this huge rant about nothing improving or changing anymore. You see, I've been seeing a psychologist for almost a year now, and at the start, changes were huge, and now, things are just... normal? Normal, but fine. I WAS depressed, then I got new hope and was really cheery, and now I'm just good.

But apparently, they want me to talk about what I do every day, and tell them what's going on in my mind all the time, and so on... which I just didn't bother to do, as I thought now that they know I've got AS maybe they'd understand that I don't want to talk about that sort of stuff all the time, or put on a fake smile. But apparently, they do, and if I don't, they said I should just move out. Which I can't, as I don't have the money to support myself. They basically put it like this: we invest in you, so we expect VISIBLE gain. So faking smiles, it is. So forcing happy talk, it is.

On the contrary and not to be mean but i think your dad has a point, if you don't say hi to everyone because of an emotional block then when are you going to remove the block and open up to strangers to then make friends? He (your dad) thinks you should remove the block straight away and not put it on hold until later.. but then its easy for him to say it he's not in your position.

Through highschool i only spoke when people asked me a question so that i wouldnt be rude. I had heaps of social problems after highschool. I couldn't speak a long sentece (the kind of sentences where you have to take a breath in the right spot) until about 1 or 2 years later... i would just run out of breath!

But then as long as your making strides... everything's sweet, imo.

What I went through in High School has pretty much scarred me for life.

I didn't have any real friends, one friend I thought I had I found out later just "felt sorry for me" and didn't really even like me or consider me a friend.

I never went to parties or the prom. I had to sit at lunch either by myself or with the special ed students.

I basically felt like I wasn't wanted anywhere and this still follows me 32 years later.

I have forgiven the people who bullied and excluded me but I still basically never want to see them again. I have never been to any class reunions and probably won't ever go to any. Why would I?

I just wish they would have known about Asperger's back then and maybe I couldv've gotten the help I really needed back then.

But now, still, I walk around with the belief that pretty much everyone I know doesn't like me and don't even know if I really have any friends(I probably do but I don't really know I can't really tell if they are a friend or just being nice because they are good people so I just assume they're just being nice and not really a friend).

High School really did a number on me and I'm still suffering from it YEARS later.

I'm still in high school.
Well, not technically enrolled at this point.. but I haven't finished it yet, despite being high school age for five years now.
I have a "genius level" IQ and academia has never been a problem, but I know that the socializing part can be effing traumatizing (hence why I haven't gotten all the course credits I need.)

I went through very similar issues with my parents a lot, so I know what you're going through. It seems that your dad does mean well in that he wants you to make friends, but is being insensitive about how to do so. Be sure to tell him about the efforts you DO make to come out of your shell, so that he's aware. And if he keeps pestering you about it, I'd hate to undermine his parental authority but it's probably best that you do't listen to his criticism.

Who you say hi to is ENTIRELY your choice. He might think that saying "hi" means social strides, but often it doesn't if you're just greeting somebody from high school whose existence you'd much rather forget. It would probably bring up bad memories for you, therefore discouraging your confidence even more.

At this point, make it your goal to make NEW friends, not to just catch up with old acquaintances who spent their time hurting you. Perhaps your dad doesn't understand that people haven't been exactly nice?

Best of luck though, I hope you feel better. And yes, getting to know people DOES get easier the more you do it.