Do you ignore compliments?

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I guess this goes along with the other thread I started about feeling guilty if someone likes me, but I just realized that a lot of times I also ignore compliments.. Probably mainly just because I feel guilty about them, like I must have tricked them into thinking it. And I just don't know what to say, so I just go on like they never said it. That's probably pretty rude, huh? But it seems like it might be even ruder to argue about it. And so, rudely, I just ignore it.

I just say "thanks."


Sometimes I do give out corrections if I think I gave them the wrong impression about something. Like the other day, I got told at work that I sure know movies well and I said only if it's my favorite. I didn't want her to think I know every movie well I have seen. I feel it's a form of lying if I allow people to think the wrong thing of me. So if I tell them, I am being honest with myself.

Not that I get a lot of compliments, but neither do I handle them well, or at least not in ways other people handle them. When I do what I do at work, I see no reason for getting any blue ribbons for doing what I was hired to do.

You have mentioned feeling "guilty" about compliments, like you must have tricked people into thinking them, and I can definately identify with that. I have a very natural passive-aggressive bent that sometimes does its thing even without my conscious participation! For example, I sometimes caution people about how I can be, then realize I have just done it again.

Nice to know I am not alone in this department.

I try to at least say thank you, but it does make me feel awkward. I generally know my own strengths and weaknesses and I can tell if I've done something exceptionally well without having it pointed out. A compliment seems superfluous, yet the last response you want to give when someone says "Good job!" or "You look nice today" is to shrug and say "I know."

Besides, as Spokane_Girl says, I don't want anyone to get the impression that I'm their go-to guy anytime they need something, whether it's the name of a movie or painting of their dogs. 'Cause when they ambush me later with some last minute request and I have to say "Sorry, I can't" - they're never going to understand.

My friend Shani tells me all the time that I'm cute (and if you look at my photo I'm sure you'll agree), and I just say, "I know", because, like I said, she says it all the time. ^^;
Otherwise, when someone offers me a compliment I make a really emotional reaction to it, like, "Ohh, thank you so much!"
I feel like a girl when I do, even though it's the kind of response I have used for a long time coming.

This is how I feel as well. I also tend to get annoyed if I get a compliment from someone I don't care for, their opinion is an annoyance to me, even if it is positive.

Ignore them and i don't think it's because i feel guilty but it is definitely have something to do with me uncomfortable with people who like or "love" me because compliments are stones thrown into my creative streams
meaning
i really don't need someone to tell me how great and smart i am i'd rather have people create with me or maintain some kind of creative dialogue
when u say or do something nice or creative u need the other person to go with that flow and do something nice and creative with you
telling me i'm nice just kill that flow so compliments are death to me

it's the same with people who love me because i'm such and such and by clinging to the most shallow definitions of me they actually killing my abilty to love them back

I have an issue with compliments, for some strange reason I cannot figure out. Often times, I feel as if they are only giving it to m to make me feel good about myself, not because it's true (it usually isn't). People, IMO, are too quick to give me compliments, calling me a "genius" or something like that. If someone says "Oh, you're so good at <insert subject here> (possibly a special interest of mine)", I usually think to myself: "There are a lot of people who are way better at <insert subject here> than I am". Of course, I'm obligated to say "Thanks...". When people give me compliments, they just sound so forced and phony.

I also seem to feel guilty when people like me. I don't feel that there's a reason why people should like me.

yes, because half the time I don't believe what they say is true.

I just thank the people for the compliments that they give me, and than I go back to whatever it is that I'm doing.

Yea, I definitely have that issue too. Like as long as I feel bad about myself, people will occasionally say nice things to try to make me feel better.. but if I actually believe them, then I'd sound all stuck-up and arrogant, and they'd start saying mean things. It's a catch-22... if you believe what they say, they change their mind.

that part of the ego driven society
people hate what they adore because that adoration is meant to promote themselves
lot's of aspies have it tough because of that
i had people who called me genius and than hated me because of the "who the hell u think u r"
mind you this process usually goes with out any reaction from me and it's totally self contained
people just decide u r great and then they feel intimidated by your so called greatness
Most NT doesn't have any real grasp of true equality and leveled or sane communication
u either great or small
u can never be just a normal person doing his "thing" quietly and out of interest or love

How to deal with compliments always confused me.

Recently when I have got confused about social situations I have tried to read books that might help me. The books that I have read that have mentioned how to accept compliments (especially personal ones such as "you look nice today") have all said that the best way to handle it is to simply say "thank you" and smile.

My usual tactic used to be to either get uncomfortable and deny the compliment (usually if I was told I was pretty), which is apparently not a good thing to do socially because it will make the compliment giver feel uncomfortable for having given the compliment, or to try to give a compliment back (e.g. "so do you" of the complimenter has said "you look nice") which is also apparently not the best response as it may make the complimenter feel as if you think they are fishing for compliments.

I have got on alright with just saying "thank you" and smiling so far. It seems to avoid any awkwardness at any rate.

As far as I understand from what I have read, people give compliments in a fairly superficial way like that in a similar way that people you pass at work say "hi, how are you?" and don't really want to know how you are, just want you to say "fine thanks".

More often then not I usually find myself ignoring compliments, a little shrug with "um.... okay" is my response a majority of the time. As for returning compliments I'm even worse. Women at work are especially fond of being noticed for any slight change no matter how insignificant - a new hair style, a different pair of shoes, or somehow magically I should be able to pick up on how they've lost 1.2 pounds. Unless it's something drastic I'm not going to notice. If say, they were to come in with a mo-hawk and liposuction then yes, I'd be all " wow your self esteem is purely based off how others perceive you! You must really hate your life!"

Okay, I suck at compliments. People aren't looking for honesty - they're looking for flattery, and I'm the wrong person for that.

This!

I know I do ignore them a little mainly because I dont know how to accept them.