People liking you but not asking you to hang out with them

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what does it mean, when a friend asks for your phone number. Then never calls you.

alphalimapapa: Your outlook in the matter seems like one that is very true to everyone who has difficulties in this type of social interaction. Personally, I want to thank you for making everything clearer for me!

This happens when you are not 'cool' enough in order to be included in a group. You might be too odd-looking, too tall, too fat, too short , not funny enough.... you might be out of their league in other term.

You would always notice that group of friends who hang together are usually of the same level of 'looks/social status/humor', they would not like to invite you if you make them appear 'less cool' in front of the society.

That's just how it is. Most people at least think they have enough friends, that they won't be bothered adding new friends to this circle. Alot of people are simply too busy with work and their personal life to go about making friends with acquaintances or strangers. Many of them might only give you a chance if they think they have something to get out of it.

Sometimes you do have to make the first move to see any results. Once you've hung out a few times you might find you really get along well, and the person might think to themselves 'we really do get along well and have fun together' and it might just progress from there.

Just remember that very few people are out to be geniune friends with you. They might chase you if they fancy you in a romantic way, through a shared interest, or for some benefit. Hope this helped!

I just developed the notion that (this is simply an example), when you are alone and someone is in a group nearby, there is a good chance that that person would like to invite you to join their group and to make you feel welcome in that group, but is halted by the risk of rejection by their group.

I've been studying the concept of 'Belonging' in my English class, and I have begun to contemplate the concept of being consumed by a group. Put simply, that person in the group wants to remain safe in the group.

One thing that has been pointed out to me in the last few months is that you really have to work at making and maintaining friendships/social contacts. Must confess that I don't particularly, and the friends I am most with, thinking about it, are the ones who pick up the phone to call me for get togethers.

I have one particular friend who I have known for 20 years, from college days. He was diagnosed as an aspie about 8 years ago. I haven't seen him for about 10 years. But we know we're friends, and the only times he's called me for the last few years is funnily enough, when he's in a war zone. He's a comms engineer, looking after the comms truck for when news crews go out to cover sports events and wars around the world. So there he is, stuck in a bunker or truck, mud and war around him, and he can make free phone calls, as they're labelled as "test calls" for his job. So he calls me.

I laughingly complained once, "Oh yes, sit there in a war, and who do you think of? Me!"

But the point I'm wondering about is whether aspies tend to find the small socialisations quite painful, so don't do them, whilst NTs do them unthinkingly and effortlessly to lots and lots of people, so always have a larger group of friends, and can afford to naturally moult a few every now and again.

Whereas aspies are left wondering why friendships don't happen effortlessly(they feel effortless to NTs, who put in the work without even really thinking about it, like breathing to them), and are more devastated when a friendship ends as they tend to only have a few friends or probably only one or two friends. Do you think this might be the case?

I have characteristics of the Aspergers syndrome. I am undiagnosed. I am an adult male, in my 20's. I live in Australia. The easiest way I believe is to shut the world out and not have to deal with people. Some of us need help, but some of us do not want to be helped.

Being a social outcast and a having few or no friends through out my life has been very difficult. Being bullied at school- it was hell. I always hated being misunderstood and not knowing what my problem was. Loneliness was a killer at first but you grow to accept it.

I have been diagnosed with various different psychiatric illnesses including: Bipolar, borderline personality, anxiety and depression and paranoid schizophrenia. I have taken various medications but they did not work.

Not being able to read body language and interpret people's emotions makes me appear like a weirdo to people. Saying the wrong thing at the wrong time upsets people. People never give you a second chance. I mainly spend most of my time withdrawn from the world, instead of having to deal with the world.

To all those people who have the illness and are struggling in their own world. My heart goes out to you and hope you find the happiness in your lives.

I'm new to forums period, I've never posted: only read them.
When I logged into this site it asked me if I was an aspenger or autism, I've never been diagnosed for either, but it's nice to know that there is a name for what I am. You are who you are and I say just live with it, and life will go as it should if you don't bring your self down.
I have the same situiation with "friends" of mine we hang out only when someone else brought them together, other then that we never hang out besides that. I enjoy being alone but at the same time hate it. I ask my self everyday why am I like this,does nobody see my problem? But I came to the point where I have to stop worrying about who I am, and just be who I am. I'm an artist, and I know if I just do what I love my childhood dream, I'll solve my problems. What I'm trying to say is don't let this bring you down, only thing it will do is stall or stop you from who you are.
If this was irrelivant I apologize other wise I hopped I put my 10 cents in.

I absoluteley hate this aswell, but it may be the fact that people may like me and whatever I end up keeping to myself alot, or I just pass off as somebody to not hang out with due to "looking depressed all of the time" as they would put it even my best freinds treat me like crap and then keep saying lime oh he's like one of my best freinds but they neve even treat me as I am though they're nicer to total strangers than me.

And then whenever other people start having a go at me he goes along with it because he simply thinks that "they're right" and that's just crushing to have to deal with because then he's just keeping me around out of pity Like everyone else and these guys aren't the highest on the social chain in school and now recently they're too high up now that they're just leaving me to rot.