busting people's ...

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How good are you guys at taking this? It feels like this is exactly where my asperger's affects me in a social circle after everybody knows each other pretty well. It's almost like after somebody finds out you don't respond well to getting your balls busted, your position in that social group starts to rapidly decay, regardless of how good friends you are with some of the people in the group. It's funny how sometimes you can respond with a way more zingy "comeback" and then completely offend everybody in the group to the point of them thinking you're a total as*hole. It's like I have trouble finding the ground between a totally lame non-comeback or a completely offensive one (I don't do this anymore).

It also seems like once you've been discovered to be someone who doesn't respond too well to ball busting, your social position in that group has been demoted past the point of return. I need to find out how to say mildly offensive things (how do you even come up with the material for that) and have the guy on the receiving end the ball busting.

Really, it seems to be the case that this ability to bust other people's balls is probably linked to the ability to flirt really effectively with sort of stuck up girls that hold themselves in high regard. Honestly, I can't believe how these two guys I know have a friendship built almost totally on busting each others balls and they are honestly great friends. Whenever they're talking, the constant back and forth sounds almost like flirting to me.

As a female I never really understood this bonding through insults business. Do all guys do this? If not, maybe you're better off hanging with a different group. I'm having a difficult time explaining to my son how this works. It seems you're better off not trying to be what you're not. It would be like me trying to be seductive by flipping my hair. HA!

Oh my entire circle of friends in Portland is centered around busting each other's balls. There is almost nothing that is offensive enough to be considered "off limits". I've known these dudes variously for 10-15 years and learned very quickly how to deal with it. As you might imagine, I'm a pretty easy target and I get my balls busted HARD (not the worst of anyone in the group but pretty close to it), whatever, that's the way it is. For the most part it's hilarious.

My boyfriend and his friends bond this way, and I don't really understand it, but I think it's kind of cool to be that comfortable around people. One time though, his friend got into his old beat up truck and my boyfriend sarcastically said "Hey, nice truck!" and his friend replied, "Hey, nice belly!".... That was kind of mean, but I guess that's how it works....

I've seen people do this. It used to confuse me, but my friend sees me as a project, so I had her help me. I kinda get it now. You're supposed to say something about someone else, which everyone can see and probably has already spared a thought to, but you say it in this weird sarcastic tone.

Had this done recently to me (I think; I'm a girl though, so it's a bit weird).

Some guy on the same football comittee answered one of those 'social living' questions on my facebook application (what is Lene best at?) with 'definitely not football'....

I wasn't really sure what to make of it; we're not really friends, and I'm quite good at football, so it beats me why he posted on my profile. Was it a subtle dig or hint that the comittee wants me out? Had I offended him somehow?

I showed it to my boyfriend though and he just said that it's just a lame joke. When I told him that it sounded more bitchy than funny, he said that 'jock' guys think putting people down is the height of humour and that it's the easiest way to make a joke.

I've seen it before in guy groups in my year; one guy in particular is always slagged off. His response is to just take the blows and laugh weakly at them. Maybe that's how you're supposed to respond?

There is no such thing as all males (insert).

From my own experience, I think people just like to see how well you can take a joke, you have to be able to give as well as receive though. Like in the restaurant business, everyone does this to each other (at least from what I've seen over the years). Its kind of like, its not serious but it is (socially speaking). The comparison to flirting is pretty true, it does work in almost the same way. In short, if you're around such people, you have to be pretty thick-skinned. And have to be able to let a few zingers fly at short notice (but not fly off the handle).

I see a lot of this social sparring going on (even among girls) and I really dislike it. I usually have to take it from my little sister, and she does it maliciously. I try to avoid it when I can, because I'm overly sensitive and don't like putting other people down. :/

It took me a little while to learn that its not personal but lucky iv learnt to laugh at my self. What I tend to do is to find hols in them busting my balls and turn it around that way I dont offend people and it makes the other person look a bit silly lol. I also do this when people play jokes on me . It is a skill and is one that you learnt I observed the way other people deal with it and I copyed them then I managed to find my own way.