crazy NT is trying to be my friend

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Five years ago I met this woman who made it her personal charity mission to be my friend. She was the mother of one of the children in my daughter's kindergarten class. This woman is what I think of as a typical NT mom. Her and her husband own a nice home, they have 2.5 kids, a husband who works around the clock and never seems to say a word, and she does multilevel marketing, and she sits on the board of the PTA, and, even worse, she's a born again Christian. Her children are horrible, her children have strange nasty behaviors that they enact in a sly passive aggressive manner toward other children. To sum it up this woman is a typical NT mom in every way possible.

She tried to be my friend. Her efforts at friendship with me were solely comprised of her attempts to educate me as to how to shop in bulk at the grocery store, her efforts to educate me about the efficacy of the incredible skin care products she sold through MLM, and also to force my children to play with her kids so that my children could receive the benefits of interacting with a church going family.

I hate her!! !! We have NOTHING in common whatsoever. I always did my best to avoid her but she was very persistant.

Mercifully she moved to another province a couple of years ago. Her efforts to be my friend did not end there, however. For the past two years I have received about two phone calls a year from this woman. She calls to find out what I "am up to" and "what's new" in my life. I always try to get off the phone as quickly as possible.

This week she called me. She asked, "Do you still have those religious videos I gave you?"

I said, "Yeeeeessss..." I could barely remember but it is true, she did lend me three religous videos about five years ago. The videos are in my closet somewhere. I never watched them. Gawwwwd. Who knew this would come back to haunt me? And now I have to return the videos so I have no way of escaping the horrific scenario that she presented with her next words.

She said, "Good because I'm coming into town this weekend and I want to visit with you when I pick up my videos."

NOOOOOOOOO!! !! !! !

If anyone has any advice as to how I can deal with this woman so that I do not have to spend several hours with her, please let me know.

1) Fake your own death.
2) Move to another state(I did that ounce when people were bothering me).
3) Tell them you have TB(from your days as a IV drug users).
4) Tell them you have a crush on them.
5) Tell them your a scientologist(or other cult).
6) Ask to barrow alot of money.
7) Offer to swap mates for a week.
Tell them your painting your house that week.
9) Go on vacation the day they get there.
10) Hide in your house when they knock.

Mail her damn videos to her by Expresspost tomorrow.

Then either:

(1) Lie and say you're out of town all weekend; or

(2) Tell the truth, and say you don't feel you two have anything in common, and that you'd prefer not to pursue a friendship.

Either way tell her the videos are in the mail.

Tell her your place is being fumigated (true, well near enough), and that you'd prefer to mail her the videos.

If she ever rings about coming round again, tell her you have to check you diary and with your partner before you can commit. This gives you time to come up with a subsequent engagement and be unavailable. She'll get the hint eventually unless she's aspie and then you'll just have to tell her you don't want her to visit, you don't have to give a reason. Just repeat "I don't want you to visit" over and over.

Or, to save time, just start repeating it immediately, the very next time she phones.

Okay, I pick the option where I just hide in my apartment and don't answer the phone for the weekend. If she ever calls again I'll just tell her that the apartment was being fumigated and I had to leave for ten hours. I'll get her address when and if she does call again, and then I'll mail her the videos.

Note to self: get call display.

Tell her something like this, and this should make her go away:

"You know what? I've been thinking. Say you're born again Christian? Well, why not join me in a black mass next week? I'm a devout satanist, and I'd like to know if you'd want to be converted. If you think I'm hip, you haven't met my son yet. He drinks goat's blood and prowls around the farms at night looking for pigs!"

- Ray M -

She is *not* trying to be your friend. She is trying to convert you to her religion and sell you her MLM products. You can treat her just like you'd treat any other sales person who's product you aren't interested in. You do not have to be nice to her. You do not have to make up any excuses. You do not even have to return her videos (if they were that inportant to her, she would have gotten them back before she moved--if she really wants them back, tell her to send you a post-paid return box for them).

You have every right to tell her that you are not interested in her products, you are not interested in her religion, and you do not want to hear from her again. If she persists on contacting you after you have told her you don't want to hear from her, tell her you will consider any further contact harassment and will take appropriate action.

One of the "unwritten rules" in The Unwritten Rules of Social Relationships, by Temple Grandin and Sean Barron (at Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/193256 ... e&n=283155), is that not everyone who is friendly is your friend. This is a good example of that rule. Beware of MLM people. Many are experts at pretending to be your friend.

Here is a sample script for you to use the next time this person calls:

"Thank you for your interest in me. Unfortunately, I am not interested in buying your products and I am not interested in hearing about your religion. You continued contact with me is making me very uncomfortable. I do not want to see you or visit with you. If you would like your videos back, you can send me some self-addressed stamped envelopes or boxes for them, and I'll send them back. Otherwise, while I wish you and your family all the best, I prefer you not contact me again."

If she tries to argue with you, just tell her "This conversation is making me uncomfortable, so I must end it. Please do not contact me again. Goodbye." Then you can hang up. You should aim for calm, measured tone of voice.

You will be doing her a favor, because now she can spend her time on people who may be more receptive of her message.

Best of luck to you.

FGM, a non-typical NT

Just be polite to her. That's all you have to do

Emily

i hate peopel like this.
they lack awareness to know that they make you sooo uncomfortable, they impse themselves upon you in an attempt to feel you out and work out as much as they can about you and establiush a social hierachy with you.
usually thes people like to dominate these encounters and they feel a need to control the situation as it re-enforces to them that they are in control and therefore somehow feel satisfied at your uncomfoprtable ness around them
they are emotional parasites, they steal from you to validate tehmselves and they spend hours with you extracting.
i know how you feel.
juts dont answer the door.
i tried this once and they walked in anyway.
i pretended to be asleepp and this didnt work either.
they are almost impossible to get rid off as they need to extract life from you , they feel that they must "interact" with you.
just mail her the videos and get caller id.

What they said. Mail her her videos, turn off the lighs and pretend you're not in.,

And even though you will probably have to pay, change your phone number, give only the people you wish to have your number your number, and tell any who know her NOT to give her your new number.

Julie

One thing you could do is find a lot of really small things if you have to deal with them ever in person for whatever reason. When she starts getting obnoxious, start tossing them at her. When questioned you can say, "Yeah. You're annoying me, I figure you don't understand this so I figure a good demonstration is in order." And when you get pestered more about the tossing things, just keep at it.

Setting her on fire, or stabbing her with a pencil works too (okay, this one is definatly NOT serious)

Another option is to be so annoying that she can no longer tolerate being around you. Keep poking her (best with a stick, she might be contagious) whenever she's around.

You could probably exploit the religion angle pretty easily. Too many options to list (The Gnostic Gospels make more sense. You should listen more to Buddha. Pfft, you might as well be praying to your dog, it'll do you just as much good. Sorry, I worship Cthulhu and it's actually my duty to destroy false faiths like yours so that he can return to devour us all. Heh, you Christains are hilarious)


Mind you, this is all assuming the 'Please stop talking to me. Ever.' approach doesn't work.

I wonder what MLM scheme shes a part of?