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ElysianDream
Blue Jay
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30 Nov 2009, 6:20 am

Unless you're a total introvert I think you're missing out if you at don't have at least some friends. It doesn't mean it has to be part of your lifestyle, but it's good and healthy to mix. But if you REALLY don't mind not having friends (and are not pretend) - and I believe quite a few here don't, that's totally cool. I have more friends now but I still enjoy time to myself. I can see them now and then, and that's usually enough for me. What's most annoying is when I want to do things that fulfil my interests like going to music concerts, and often still have to go alone because those friends are busy or something. There are some who simply won't go unless they have someone to go along with, but I don't mind going myself. Sometimes I can still have a good time, but other times I feel even more alone.



poker_face
Tufted Titmouse
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01 Dec 2009, 12:04 pm

maybe people you've met don't have common interests, there are websites like meetup.com where you can meet people with similar interests in the real world. If there are not groups that interest you, you can start one however it costs to run one. Plus maybe just look up groups on the net, find some exercise you would like to do and join a club. Above all be interested in people; have studied a lot of psychology as I had probs with making friends, there are ways you can show people you are listening, ways to show people your interested (eg asking open questions, ones that require more than yes or no answers). good luck



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Deinonychus
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09 Jan 2010, 6:48 pm

I really prefer to be alone, and dislike to socalize with people.
But sometimes I am sitting in my bedroom and just wished that I had a friend or two.
I haven't had a friend (exept on the internet) for four years. It's quite boring to always be alone and never have any connection with other people at all. I wish I had a friend who was like-minded, but I haven't found any yet.

So I think it feels lonely and sadly to not have friends.


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Bataar
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09 Jan 2010, 7:33 pm

It's a lonely and boring life. It's not that I want to be surrounded by friends all the time, but occasionally (more often than never), it's nice to have someone to talk to, even if it's only about a shared interest. It's also boring. Some things I don't mind doing by myself, like going out for dinner or something, (although it does get irritating when a menu only has combination dinners when served for 2 or more). But some things I just don't like doing by myself. Going to movies, going to baseball games, going to football games (real, NFL football), going to concerts, etc. I love doing all of those things but haven't done them at all because I don't have anyone to go with. I went to nearly 30 movies in 2008 and then my friends moved away for different reasons. I went to 3 movies in 2009 and 2 of them were by myself. I haven't been to a baseball game in 3 years.



Fintan29
Toucan
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09 Jan 2010, 10:04 pm

I've had great times not having friends; I can do whatever I want in my free time and not have to go to the cinema instead of gaming on my own. I was just born this way. As a kid, I would've played my own games in the school yard and I had a great time, apart from the bullying. Anyway, I wouldn't mind having one friend, but there's nearly everyone I don't even wants to be friends with and as if they even want to be friends with me. Oh, I don't care if I have friends or not in the future, there's always myself, my imaginary friend (I'm 18, I know) and my family.



leschevalsroses
Snowy Owl
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09 Jan 2010, 10:27 pm

Daniella wrote:
I'm lucky considering friends. I have friends, but I don't see them often. But I know that, if I'd call them, we could always go do something together. Not that I call them. But I could. We still know each other from middle school, but went our own ways.

We still see each other on birthdays. Sometimes they randomly organise to go do something together. They always ask me along with them. I like being with them, as long as it's not too often. I feel comfortable around them and we have the same sense of humour.

With them, I only have a very few obligations, but I'm not alone either. So yeah, lucky.


That's very lucky indeed, I wish I could have friends like that. I've had a few great, interesting friends in the past but they all took too much time and effort to keep up with. They expected me to go out with them frequently and chat with them on the phone. While it was fun going out and doing things with them, after a while it became really overwhelming so I broke away. I've never been able to find a friend who understands that I need a lot of time to myself.



PunkyKat
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11 Jan 2010, 5:01 pm

Liberating


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Greshym_Shorkan
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12 Jan 2010, 5:14 am

Dark, cold, bleak, and boring. That's not the case right now, but it was a few times in my life.



Homer_Bob
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12 Jan 2010, 6:36 pm

Kind of boring but at the same time I feel I have complete freedom and I don't have to answer to anybody. There are pros and cons in everything. I'll admit, I'm just not a "friends" material. I find socializing extensively to be emotionally exhausting and I feel very much at peace when I'm alone. I'll admit again, there are times where I am extremely bored being alone but if I can find some kind of hobby to do then it makes me days more fulfilling. I feel I am just not meant to fit in with the generation that I was born in. I have totally different views on life than the majority of people I know. Right now most people my age don't care about anything right now except partying, getting laid and all that other stupid crap that I want no part of. A life of solitude is a path that I am willing to go down.



111chuckybabu
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13 Jan 2010, 4:17 am

I enjoy the simplicity of not having relationships to maintain. I've been without friends for 7 years now. Perhaps I don't miss it because of bad experience with people during my school years. The "friends" I did have would often use me and put me down for things that made me different to them. My interests don't require other people to do it with, so solitude doesn't really impair my life. I'm far from well adjusted though. People around me (family and family friends) like to think that making friends will magically solve my problems.



Celtic_Frost
Deinonychus
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13 Jan 2010, 9:06 am

It makes me feel like a bad person. Like I did something very wrong to some people and now they don't want to hang out with me. :x I would like to have friends, but I cannot communicate very well.



Ztower
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13 Jan 2010, 9:10 am

I have a friend, he is also an aspie and I feel a deep healthy bond I have always been looking for. Something I thought would be impossible to find. Now if only he was a she...



Ladarzak
Deinonychus
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13 Jan 2010, 11:35 am

> Well for me it is quite lonely and boring. You don't get to do anything special, you sit at home all day, wishing someone would talk to you. Pretty much you have a love/hate relationship towards people, because you feel betrayed by the social world that is life. Also, you become quite desperate for friends, that you'll hang out with almost anybody.

That's all been true for me.

Now I'm more concerned with the fact that I lack what's called "weak ties," like the weak hydrogen bonds between oxygen molecules. These bonds give water some of its special and powerful properties. Similarly, weak ties give people the power of connection, which includes access to information, knowledge and understanding that affect your quality of life, including the obvious career networking factor. Being able to network for nonjob reasons is also important, though. I want a place in this world, and that requires connecting with other people, much as I have a misanthropic side because humans are often such benighted parasites, both individually and as a whole. So the love/hate thing definitely remains at that level.



iamnotaparakeet
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13 Jan 2010, 11:50 am

For me, not having friends for most of my life, except for my birds since 2001 and my fiancee since 2008, is kind of like climbing up a ladder and then looking down. The more you think about it the worse it feels.



thcau
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13 Jan 2010, 6:17 pm

Lonely at times. I get along pretty well by myself, but when I spend too much time alone I tend to lose my energy and get depressed. Wandering the Internet endlessly gets old after a while. I've had two very close friends in my life (each at different times and different places; they never met each other), and it's just a great feeling to communicate with someone who you know and understand almost completely, especially when you feel they understand you as well.

Unfortunately, my last close friendship ended in a rather prolonged and painful way, which left me really depressed for a while. But I got a new job since then and get along really well with my co-workers. They all know I have no social life outside of work and they're all really cool about it for some reason. I consider myself very lucky in this regard. They invited me out for my upcoming birthday and I'm looking forward to it.



AspiRob
Deinonychus
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14 Jan 2010, 2:55 pm

ColaInflux wrote:
Well for me it is quite lonely and boring. You don't get to do anything special, you sit at home all day, wishing someone would talk to you. Pretty much you have a love/hate relationship towards people, because you feel betrayed by the social world that is life. Also, you become quite desperate for friends, that you'll hang out with almost anybody. Even if they annoying the living hell out of you, or are the worst people in the world. It's sad to see everyone else having the time of their lives, and I'm at home playing World of Warcraft. I think have no friends is the worst thing that can happen to you, in your life, because everyone needs someone to talk to, am I right?


I guess how bad not having friends is, is relative to how much you want to have friends. You obviously want to have friends but don't, hence your frustration and disappointment. I, on the other hand, do not want to have any friends and therefore not having any suits me just fine. In my experience, most people (NT's notably) are in love with themselves and only have friends to "prove" to the world how lovable they are. That and it gives them someone to sponge off when they want something.

Whether you sit at home all day and feel sorry for yourself is up to you. I like to get out and go for a bike ride or go to the gym. Failing that, I can always get on the net or watch a DVD. Reading is also an enjoyable individual pastime. I have lots of other things to do as well. Basically all my activities are individual pursuits and I live a very fulfilling life.

It all gets down to what you want and how you perceive your existance.


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