Why is it so hard for us to make friends our own age?

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I have read a number of things about Asperger's/Autism over the years and one of the things that I have identified with is the failure to make age appropriate relationships. Does anyone have any ideas as to why?

I often think about my social life. My closest friends right now are elderly folks that I go to church with. Great people to be aroumd, but I would like to meet and get to know more people in their 20's and 30's (I will be 32 this month).

I have spent some time in thought on this subject, yes.

Perhaps it is because we tend to accept those who accept us? The Elderly are wise enough to do so and children don't care about social norms. I like and can even make eye contact with those that treat me well. I dislike and cannot look at the faces of those I am angry at.

This could also be coupled with the fact that (for me) social skills seem to lock in at the age we memorized them. For example, I am quite comfortable using the same scripts I learned for socialization during my "age 14-18" years. My fashion sense is also similarly locked hard in the early 80's. Unless I'm at a retro party, these skills are not so useful when everyone else updates their schema.

Idk...it's sure easier to talk to and relate to those out of my age range.

I'm in the same boat. A couple of jobs ago, I was friends with people who were at least 10 years if not more older than me. At my last job, everyone was my age and I didn't consider any of them friends. People my age are just too irritating.

I've found that in my life I was either friends with people much older than me or younger than me. I think it has to do with getting along with people who are at our maturity level. When I was a kid, and even a bit into my teens, I was a bit "young" for my age... though I also admit I was at the same time a bit "old" for my age too. My friends were both younger kids and adults. As an adult I've mostly gotten along with people who are several years older than me, unless they happen to just be unusually mature for their age. Even then, I can't seem to find too many close to my age or younger than me, if any at all.

I can seriously see, though, that lately I've started to drift away from this. Maybe its because I'm getting older and at the same time I'm more open now, but I'm finding that I can get along with people better regardless of age now... its just that its still easier to get along with people the older they are.

This has been the case throughout most of my life. It was in high school that I first noticed I was getting along a lot better with people not my own age. Later in high school I found myself becoming friends and fitting in better with younger pupils. This caused me a lot of problems, as it was seen as being socially unacceptable. As an adult, the friends I've been able to make have always been for the most part considerably older.

I feel it's because we are on different maturity scales; we are either above or below their maturity level depending on the individual. I'll make an example and say there was an autistic kid I knew who was my age but still liked Disney cartoons and there was another guy with aspergers back at my high school who was already studying to becoming a lawyer; he carried a suitcase and wore a suit everyday.

I've always found that I get along with people much older than myself. My youngest friend is 7 years older than I am. I find that my peers are too irritating for me, and they're too much into the next coming century.

I have just made a similar thread today on this and I think its due to the expectation that is put on you when you socialize with people your age. They expect you to know specific stuff when people who are not your age will talk about general stuff because they expect a "generation gap" anyways.

I think I mentioned here before, I just hated the behaviour of children my age. I preferred talking to my parents, family and their friends, and having more intelligent talks over the internet, usually with older people.

Now it's different. I talk with people of all ages. I used to think that older people are more reasonable. I'm not sure about it now... They just seem to talk more quitely, I think. I preferred conversations with older people, but not always agreed with them. I did prefer the general tone of the conversation. Today I think they're mostly herd followers, after all. They talked peacefully, were less violent, but still ignorant and irrational.

I go to a school full of autistics and I get along just fine with them.
But I cannot get along with young NTs.
I simply cannot understand them.
I seem to attract unwanted attention when I am around them.

I think the irony is that I am quite certain these so-called "immature" people are quite mature, and the reason I am unable to make friends with people my age is because I am nowhere near as mature as them.

A lot of this, I think, would be based on how we define "maturity". In the simplest of models, we still can attribute the source of why one is smart or mature: they can have the so-called "book smarts", where they know a lot of academic knowledge, or a lot of "street smarts", or lots of social knowledge.

I'm convinced that maturity is really a question of "street smarts". We mature by being able to talk to a diverse array of people and select the best of what we see and experience to total to a personality -- our personality. Sharing experiences with each other is far more powerful -- and far more convincing than reading something in a book or learning it in college, especially when it comes to meeting and understanding other people; and in the end, doesn't everything boil down to meeting and understanding people?

With that in mind, most of my friends back in North Carolina are two years younger than I am. I repeatedly tell them that it's easier to relate to them, who are still going through their high school "firsts", than with people my age, who have Seen It All.
My history professor remarked, in ironic jest, that by my age we have become jaded at the world around us, and there is a moment of truth in the irony. In a Scrabble game I played in my Scrabble class a few days ago, my co-teacher drew the word "CONDOMS" straight out of the bag and proceeded to show it to us in the hopes of us laughing. Most of the class seemed to be indifferent -- as if they were Too Mature to Care and had Seen It All. But then, I am convinced I have the maturity of a 15- or 16-year-old, but that's a different thread.

I certainly find it a lot easier to get along with adults and younger children than other teenagers. I suppose it's because adults are generally more individual and don't see anything wrong with that (although I still don't always understand them and vice versa), and younger children don't really care either, plus they have far lower expectations of you. I wouldn't say I have any friends in either of those age groups, but I do find them easier to get along with.

I'm a lot more mature than people my age, and don't usually find much to talk about with them. My mum always says I should try, because like other teenagers I like films, music, etc, but that's a stupid way to look at things. Everyone likes films and music, but it dosen't mean I want to talk to them. I much prefer to talk to people who have real things in common with, mostly others who are considered weird and different, and of course fellow Aspies.

Even in primary school I spent most of my time talking to the teachers, and they would always ask me for advice when buying a new phone or computer

I have always got on better than others younger than me, because that's the age I feel.

I don't hang around with people of my own age group. To be honest I mainly keep my own company. The people in my age group who I see are my classmates and they can be sooooo immature. Besides people in my age group just seem interested in getting hammered at the weekend.