i dont know how to keep friends.... i feel cursed for life.

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I don't know what your interests are so it is hard to make suggestions.

If you enjoy gaming you might find a gaming club or something like that. My AS son did that for a bit. The same people tend to come all the time. My son played Magic, the Gathering. The group met informally at the card shop. Some of them played almost every night.

If you enjoy biking you could see if there is a local cycling club. Again, the same people would be there consistantly. There would be times you would interact with people and times you would be riding and wouldn't have to interact.

You might also check if your local churches have any groups that cater to people in your age group. Some churches have very active youth groups. They offer a variety of activities to choose from and you should be able to find something that you are willing to participate in.

Repeated contact does tend to form bonds, especially if the people have common interests.
Even if you don't find anybody special in the groups, you have given yourself some place to go and interact with people when you feel the need.

Hope this is useful to somebody.

Pink

my town just plain sucks. i need to move to a suburban area near a large metro.

I can definitly relate . It seems like I have to work so hard to get any friend and then I inevitably lose them. I don't even know why I lose them but I always do. It's so much effort to even try it barely seems worthwhile anymore... if they liked me initially they don't after they get to know me and I am able to relax around them. And if they didn't like me initially (most), they don't want to get to know me so they never see the real me.

Work is not a help, just depressing... it seems most of the people are only interested in shallow relationships with each other, not really being friends. Plus, as far as I can tell all they do is go out and drink and party (not my idea of a good time) and only in big groups. They don't seem to have much interest in each other as people. When they sit around and chit-chat it's next to impossible to become part of the conversation without having everybody stop because of whatever comment I made (or ignore it completely), and I usually don't know what they are referring to anyway (whatever they saw on TV, or some public figure from 20 years ago...).

As for the friends I do make... they cut things off eventually. I just lost another one in fact... She used to work at my company (the only friend I actually made there, if in fact she was a friend) and when she was there we would hang out outside of work all the time, for two years. I haven't seen her since she got a new job months ago. I always feel awkward calling people up for no reason, but I made a couple attempts after time passed since she did not contact me. She answered finally after a month (email, never to phone calls) and said she was just busy but I think this is unlikely (since she ignored the last several calls/emails), and I know she talks to her boyfriend at the same office every day. We used to do things together on a regular basis and talk every day. And I know based on previous experience with her that she will never tell me what I did wrong or why she doesn't want to be friends any more... if she even admits that. :S sigh. It's always this way.

I can definitely relate. It seems it was always hard making friends. In school I used to beg people to be my friend. I had a number of friends when I first moved out west because people seemed to like me because I was new and different. But now none of them call me. One got mad at me because I refused to wash the dishes at Thanksgiving because none of the other guests were required to clean up so why should I become the slave girl.

Other weird things that seem to prevent friendships which makes no sense to me but the fact that I now wear hearing aids has apparently made me embarrassing to be around. The HA's aren't even visible unless you get real close to my ears. Also food allergies become an issue because it prevents you from eating just anything a friend serves at their house or going just anywhere to eat out.

What I just don't get though is this couple I know and used to go to movies and dinner with we had good times together. Or so I thought. Well quite hearing from them for several yrs. Then ran into them at restaurant and was invited over to sit with them. They wanted my phone, cell & email like hey they were going to keep in touch. But I contacted them twice to see if they wanted to do anything and they don't respond back. What gives? Don't ask me for my email or cell if you aren't going to use it!

... i just hope i can make things better soon.

i'll be your friend on the internet

I like your attitude. I'm sure you can make things better. There are some really good suggestions in this topic (e.g. seeking out people that share your interests). Have you tried http://www.meetup.com/ ?

yes, i have looked at meetup, and as i stated earlier, my town SUCKS, and even other towns near it.




i swear to god, im moving near columbus or cincinnati one of these days. dont wanna be too far from where i grew up.