Guy asked me out for a drink - He is gay, I'm not

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He wants to tear your delicate little bum bum into a thousand tiny pieces.

But I'm sure nothing will come of it. If you don't fancy him, just say so.

Go along with it...then when he's got you in the bedroom, before he makes his move, tell him your not gay. While he is surprised and disappointed, push him over and start blowing with your lips on his abdomen, and say, "I bet this is turning you on!"

Video tape it and put on youtube if possible.

Given that you're not sure if he's thinking drinks mean something else and can't pick up on the signals (and yeah, those of you making light aren't getting that part of the original question...simma down), it wouldn't hurt to mention that you're not interested when you accept the invitation. Otherwise, you're just going to stress about it and not have a good time at all, and he could be your new best friend, IRL.

I'm a straight gal, but I hang out with a lot of gay guys--we have a lot in common. I will often get an invitation to drinks, and usually if it's a new friend, they will make sure I get that it's a platonic thing--just so we don't have awkwardness later. So, the invitation will often be: how about drinks, I hesitate because I'm trying to figure out the subtext in the invite >.<, and he usually says, 'you know I'm gay, right?'. Funny thing is, I usually already get the gay part, that isn't why I'm hesitating. Still, it's not going to hurt his feelings if you clarify like that, 'Sure, drinks sound fun.' pause. 'You know I'm straight, right?'

From there he's either going to shrug it off, no big deal, or he might be puzzled...which gives you an opening to explain your Aspieness--so you don't have to stress about it the whole time. And...I hope you let us know what happens.

The bottom line is that if this guy believes that you are gay and you have not corrected his false assumption, then you are lying to him.

A sexual orientation is what we are born with, but lying about it is very bad. Generally, this argument is more directed at gays than straights. In the past, gays were forced into the closet and some even got married and had children. In most civilized parts of the world, this is no longer required.

So what I am saying is that it is just as wrong for a straight man to lead on a gay man as it is for a gay man to lead on a straight woman. In both cases, the net result is that somebody gets hurt and that is wrong.

I wouldn't worry about it, I think most gay people have a built in gaydar that guides them to the ripe fruit. If you want to hang out with this guy then I would go, and as soon as you get there point out the closest semi-attactive female and tell him about how you wish you had the nerve to ask her out. If he thought you were gay then this will correct him and avoid any future "situations" (unless he thinks your on the fence, so to speak).

I am going to put aside my outrage at the juvenile stuff that's flying around this thread, and just answer the OP.

The simplest thing to do is to say to him, "I would like to have a drink with you, but you need to know that I am not gay." If he is interested in a friendship with you, then he will be grateful for clearing any misunderstandings. If he is attracted to you, he will be glad that you have not led him on.

For my part, I am gay, and I am perfectly capable of having a friendship with a man (gay or straight) that does not involve any sexual component.

Or just go out and have a good time. I think proper etiquette for the situation (which I gleaned from watching TV) is to enjoy yourself, and if he ends up romantically interested in you and asking to do things, or calling it a date, you pretend that it had never crossed your mind that he may be interested in you (or even gay), then be flattered, (to show he's not repulsive, and that you're not offended), and then you explain that you're not gay, but you'e having a wonderful time.

Or if want to go a little deeper, you could arrive a few minutes late, with an excuse such as "Sorry I'm late, my ex-girlfriend wouldn't get off the phone with me" which would introduce an opening to discuss sexuality for him, as well as adding an implication that you're straight. Sure, it's not good to be a liar, but it can make life a heck of a lot easier for us.

Or, you could just open with a brief story about how you got hit on by a guy on the way to your meeting but had to turn him down because your not gay. And if he knows you know he's gay, you can ask him what it is about yourself that makes gaydar ping you so often. This scenario will both let him know that you're not gay, you know he's gay, and you don't have issues with it. Then the rest of the night can be much more relaxed with both of you knowing theirs nothing sexual going on.

Gay guys OFTEN worry about how to tell people that they're gay. Even more often that they are romantically interested in someone. Just like we do about being on the Autistic Spectrum. Heck, he may quite possibly just want a bud to talk football to, and he has no romantic interest in you whatsoever.