Being unable to feel lonely?
Having nobody to talk to or to enjoy life with never seemed to get the best of me. I knew that being socially inept without making progress would get me nowhere besides the living room couch, and I feel like I'm doing it out of survival rather than for the sake of being amongst the company of others. I don't think it's the social isolation that gets to me, it's the thoughts of failure from not being able to pursue my interests in life the way I wish to that tears me up from within.
I don't know, sometimes people seem like objects with emotion to me and nothing more, and I can never see myself pursuing any type of close relationship. Can anybody relate to this? Is this some kind of maladaptive response from having been withdrawn for so long? Are people with HFA like this?
brownleefamily
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: 8 Nov 2009
Age: 53
Gender: Male
Posts: 25
Location: Nashville, TN.
I don't know, sometimes people seem like objects with emotion to me and nothing more, and I can never see myself pursuing any type of close relationship. Can anybody relate to this? Is this some kind of maladaptive response from having been withdrawn for so long? Are people with HFA like this?
I think I can kind of identify with this - until a while back..
I understood alone, it did not bother me, I liked it, my alone time is very important to me. Being in social situations of any type drains me.
I can go to appointments, go to school etc they still drain me, but not to the extent that some things do. I had to push myself to go back to school, because the fact that I was not doing what I dreamt of doing, was eating me up inside.
People would ask me, do you not get lonely.. I honestly did not understand what they meant.
Logically I knew the word, and I understood the concept behind it - but I had no clue what it felt like.
I have had FB in the past and 'friends' there was never emotions attached to them, so when things would end, people move on (usually me)
I never missed them or felt lonely without them in my life.. they were just gone
Like you said, objects.. if I run out of lettuce, it is not the end of the world for me, maybe a couple days/weeks down the road I will pick up some more..
But.. a while back, I met someone, so very similar to me, so many same interest.. etc..
anyway.. it ended before it could really start and now
I understand loneliness.
Over a year with that person in my life, had me learn things I never knew I could.. and less then a week with them out of my life
I learnt loneliness. Deep, cutting terrifying loneliness..
so maybe it is like many things in life, how do people know what it is like, if they do not know it or have not learnt it.
Maybe it just takes that one great teacher of that subject..
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