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R_a_n_d_y
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02 Aug 2010, 12:43 am

Is it normal for NTs to just randomly just take advantage of you and then dismiss you socially at the drop of a hat? Because if so, as someone coming slowly to grips with with the prospect of being an Aspie, I probably have a ton of years of frustration finally being explained.

Randy



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02 Aug 2010, 1:04 am

Quote:
Is it normal for NTs to just randomly just take advantage of you and then dismiss you socially at the drop of a hat?

Nope - it is Not Normal for NT's or any other stereotyped group.
A bad apple can ruin the appearance of the whole bunch - a bad PC can do the same thing.



trojan51
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02 Aug 2010, 3:43 am

what the other guy said to some degree, but i have had my share of bad NTs doing this before



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02 Aug 2010, 3:59 am

Are you guys kidding? At least in my experience MOST people will take advantage of you. Sweet Dreams by Eurythmics describes my feelings on this issue.


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Apple_in_my_Eye
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02 Aug 2010, 4:07 am

Not all NT's, of course, but if you look a bit 'off' you might seem like a good target for such behavior. Con artists or other users tend to be good at knowing who they can "burn" with minimal repercussions. Anyone who seems odd or otherwise socially marginalized is probably going to be seen as a good target (as opposed to the most popular guy in town, who has lots of connections/friends).

My parents are elderly and a little cognitively impaired by strokes, and I've seen people who probably wouldn't have tried to cheat them in their younger years try to do it these days. So there are factors that make it more or less common.

In high school I was defintely seen as "gullible" and that (and other things) lead to a lot of sh*t.



opal
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02 Aug 2010, 5:54 am

Yes. Bullies can spot us a mile away.



brownleefamily
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02 Aug 2010, 8:08 am

To a degree, doesn't that describe all friendships?
I think the majority of people are users and don't have a clue about it.



R_a_n_d_y
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02 Aug 2010, 9:00 pm

Damn the luck. . . . Tips for curtailing it?



trojan51
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05 Aug 2010, 3:18 am

psychopaths seek out prey to take advantage of and we seem like people ripe for the picking. but if you act more socially suave, im sure they will be less likely to try you



Apple_in_my_Eye
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05 Aug 2010, 5:59 am

I'm too tired ATM to think out how to condense the stuff I've learned about that, but it's sort of like the cornball cliches all have a grain of truth to them. Like, "stand tall." Up until around age 14 or so I generally walked looking at my feet. That lead to a stooped over posture than in bully-ese means "low self-esteem," which means "good target." So I learned to straighten up and keep my eye line parallel to the ground. (Which is more visually overloading, which is why I was probably looking at my feet in the first place.) And it worked (but wasn't the whole answer). And firm hand shakes and eye contact. Basically the stereotypical things that are taken to mean "high self-esteem." Martial arts are probably good in terms of a "strong, sure posture" in that way. In my case I'm a bit large and tend to look intimidating when I'm not thinking about what my face is doing. So that helps, too. And age. At 40 I just don't get the same kind of crap I did at 19. That's all I can think to say ATM.

And also realizing that a lot of male intimidation games are 90% bluff. (Though the trouble is you never know if you've met one of the true psychos who actually will kill you over a look.)



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05 Aug 2010, 6:57 am

Most people will use take advantage of others whenever they can.



trojan51
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07 Aug 2010, 2:26 am

idk about that. i dont think most ppl seek to take advantage of AS ppl at all. i just think a psychopath would as they enjoy seeing ppl suffer and feel no remorse what so ever



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07 Aug 2010, 2:29 am

what's Davantange :? ?
is that some kind of new car insurance?


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CaptainTrips222
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08 Aug 2010, 5:14 am

R_a_n_d_y wrote:
Is it normal for NTs to just randomly just take advantage of you and then dismiss you socially at the drop of a hat? Because if so, as someone coming slowly to grips with with the prospect of being an Aspie, I probably have a ton of years of frustration finally being explained.

Randy


NTs and aspies alike. I don't think anyone wants to hear this, but expect it.



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08 Aug 2010, 6:56 am

Every typical woman that I tried to be friends with, has taken advantage of me, in one way, of another. I've just broke off a friendship, with one of them.


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