Awkwardness around kids

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So, the other day, I was out with my mom and her fiancee having breakfast somewhere. And there's this little girl (probably around 4) who came up to our table and was pretending to take our order, you know, like just being a kid.

I don't know. I felt weirded by the whole situation. There, I was and my mom's fiancee across from me is acting like a little kid himself pretending along and so forth, and I'm trying to think about how I'm supposed to go along with this pretend thing.

Is it just me, or do others with AS have a hard time being around kids and feeling weird and awkward and trying to figure out how to play along with them when they act the way they do.

Oh God, yes! That's exactly the problem I have interacting with kids - the pressure to 'play along' with them. Tellingly, I enjoyed playing with younger kids when I was a kid myself, although this entailed affecting the responses they desired or expected and talking to them in high pitched tones that I would not use in any other interaction. But now all that just feels contrived and silly - I derive zero pleasure from interacting with children, and I'm not so good at feigning enthusiasm or enjoyment. I suppose when I was a kid myself, I shared a degree of enthusiasm for the things they liked, and that I was free of the inhibition that sets in at adolescence.

Which brings me on to another source of discomfort around kids - I think they're quite appraising of adults. I remember being more so of adults than of other children. And children are more candid in their reactions to people they find strange or unseemly than adults tend to be, so I kind of worry that they'll pass comment on one of my many oddities, eg. my weird voice or stims.

People who can't control their kids in public and who think everything they do is somehow "cute" and that everyone else should play along are even more annoying than their demon spawn.

If I go to a restaurant (which I might do once a year), it certainly isn't with the intention of playing restaurant.

I never had the tinniest idea what to say to them, or how to act - it was hard enough with the grown-ups, even more so with the kids who are bound not to understand the word I say!

Most kids don't bother me, they're generally a helluva lot more honest than adults.

As long as they aren't the bratty type we usually get along pretty well, but I'm not much for pretend role-playing, either. That stuff made me feel silly even when I was a kid. I also find talking to kids in 'baby talk' insulting to the child and annoying to anyone else within earshot. I was the stay-at-home parent when my daughter was pre-K and I never talked to her like that.

Kids make me uncomfortable because they seem to know there is somehing "off" with me and they also make me have PTSD flashbacks of being bullied as a child.

Kids make me uncomfortable because they seem to know there is somehing "off" with me and they also make me have PTSD flashbacks of being bullied as a child.

Well, being someone who genuiely hates kids I just tend to ignore them when they do stuff like that. That said I never go out of my way to be mean, but since parents seem to think every adult who acts friendly to their kids is either a pedophile or child serial killer (and the fact that Aspies give off that "weird vibe") I find it best to just avoid kids as much as possible.

If I had to take a pick at how I get along with them it's because I listen to them and don't try to promote myself as being this superior "grown up" being.

I tend to get along well with kids - better than with adults, often. Often in large-group social situations if there are kids around I end up playing with the kids rather than talking to adults, because I find it easier. I think much of the reason I get along well with kids is that I listen to them, take them seriously, and treat them with respect, as people. No cute voices for me.

EXACTLY!

I was over at my ex's dad's one time and her brother was there with his kids. All the adults wanted to eat inside and all the kids were wet from being in the pool and wanted to eat outside (or maybe there was another reason I forget). I agreed to stay outside and make sure nobody fell in the pool or anything of that nature. It's not like I could contribute anything meaningful to the adult conversations anyways.

Depends on the kid for me, some are ok. The quiet ones that are usually reading or doing something that looks interesting I generally find to be likeable.

But kids are right up there with randoms and animals, they seem to like me and at times a bit to much.
Randoms coming up to me in the street or shops is one thing, strange children I don't know coming and climbing up on my lap
or birds flying over and landing on my shoulder is completely different.

I am sure that is the real reason they make leashes... or they should.

your mom has a girlfriend

of course i'm just kidding,
but just for the record:

"fiancee" = female version (has one more "e" on the end)
"fiance" = male version

look which version you used