Alone and don't care?

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I have a few friends, but I don't talk to them very often. I mostly enjoy being alone reading or thinking. Im not married, no kids, no girlfriend, and perfectly content.

I have a few very good friends online (long-term), but in person I very much keep myself to myself.

I'm the same way. I'm about 95% good with it, but I do wish I had one or two people who I could talk to without feeling like a freak...and I think I'm finding that here.

I've always had major problems making friends & for the most part now I am comfortable not having friends. I don't feel like myself around people. I'd much rather have a small amount of close friends than a group. I do get lonely thou but I'd rather have a close relationship than a group of causal friends. I rather have my friends online & find one person to be with offline

I can relate to that. Have no friends, no acqaintances and spend the majority of my time alone. I can never keep friends. I am truly a loner and apart from spending time with my boyfriend I hang out by myself and do my own thing.

The people who say, they changed their minds after being diagnosed - this is stupid.

If you do not want to have friends, or if you do want to, it is up to you whatever you want. Whether or not you have been "diagnosed" with a "disorder" is irrelevant. It doesn't change anything about you it only gives you a name to certian ways of thinking. So, if you want to have friends, then have them (if you can). And if you do not want friends, then don't have them.

Most people with Asperger's that I know are lonely if they do not have friends. Even if the diagnostic books it expects this. That most want friends but do not make them easily.

Actually if you don't like interacting with people why are you on a message board?

d9 sounds like Sociopath, not Asperger's. Sociopath means you do not care at all about other people. But, people with Asperger's still see other people as human being and not "objects".

Also having multiple people in your head to talk to. This is not Asperger's Syndrome.

I'm curious as to how much alone time all of you actually have?

I don't have a best girl friend, but there is a group of neighbor women I play cards with once a month.
I never do anything else with them though, like shopping. I don't really want to. I like games.

But I do work, so 40+ hours a week, 5 days a week from 9 - 5:30, I am in the company of people!
Not to mention the hundreds of commuters keeping me company on the highway for 45 minutes to and fro every day. Honestly, I breath a sigh of relief to get inside the front door. I'd like 5 mintues alone.

Some of the people I work with I consider my friends at work. It isn't too hard with 300 people, and some you HAVE to sit next to, or work along side. The guy next to me and I have shared cube-space for about 6 years now, and we were in an office together (with 2 other people) before that. Some days we get on each others nerves, but we talk every day too. We bring each other little gifts of food and share snacks. There are particular people around the building I pause and chat with regularly, even 2 women I gossip with!

I've worked here for 20 years so everyone knows everyone else and says hello in the halls. I don't do anything with anyone outside work, and I don't want to. After work I need to unwind. OH, and I have a husband at home.

Yeah, like I said, I'd like to get 5 minutes to myself! But I think I'd have to lock myself in the bathroom for that....

Do you all not work???

Ever heard of peer pressure? I've never wanted friends, being happiest when I'm doing something by myself, but after years of being told by everyone I should have friends I started to think I should. Getting diagnosed validates your point of view - it's ok not to have friends! There's nothing wrong with you, you're just autistic!

I haven't had any human contact the last year aside from my family and the Internet, and I'm much happier now than when I was trying to have friends.

It's different. No body language, no time, you can look up things and edit all you like.

you use the term "sociopath" inaccurately in attributing it to me, and your description of it is misleading.
"not caring about people" is not the sole domain of sociopathy, nor the sole symptom.
educate yourself with the most easily found reference before you proffer a flimsy amateur diagnosis to me.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Antisocial ... y_disorder
i was diagnosed as autistic at an early age and lived much of my school years in an institution where i was studied by psychiatrists who were helping to gather information about the characteristics of asperger syndrome before it was legitimized as a condition. "sociopath" is a lay term for antisocial personality disorder, and people with APD are severely estranged from the course of moral decency. i love animals and i despise cruelty to any living thing including humans.


i know people are alive and they have feelings. i can not begin to understand what they are, but i respect the fact that they feel their existence as much as i feel my own.

i do not like for people to prevail on me and crowd my solitude because i do not understand them and they do not understand me and it is a hassle when they interrupt my peace.
i can try to explain until i am blue in the face why i like the things that i do and why i do not like the things they do, but it never works. people are always annoyed that i do not want to listen to their prattle or engage in their fun, and i am annoyed that they try to break into my world and make me see things their way.

you should research what you say more before you say it.
you have been here for a few days and you are already taking the reigns into your own hands and undiagnosing me based upon your mediocre appraisal derived from a snippet of what you have seen of my posts. it seems to me that you have seen that i am not a popular member of this site, so you see me as an easy target for your slights because it will not offend but maybe impress the other members.

You just joined. Stick around for a lot longer and you will see that b9 is a very kind-hearted person with a lot of love, although expressed in an unconventional way. This isn't something you can tell from just a couple posts. But over time you will see it. He is somebody that I completely trust based on post content alone, and that's pretty rare.

well that is very nice and i will sleep with that thought. i am glad that i am not invisible to every eye.

Yes, b9 is probably kinder than he himself realizes. Many people here have more depth than you may realize.

I have trouble in social situations and have always lost friends and until I got my "diagnosis" I didn't know why my friendships faded.

Some people with Aspergers are happy without any friends and some are lonely and may not be able to make any. It depends on how you are affected with Aspergers. Some people with Aspergers have good Social Skills and some don't.

I don't like interacting socially at parties and at social functions but do find this forum very good. And in a way I am interacting with people as Raven puts it.

I don't have a lot of friends. In the past, it didn't bother me much but lately I have realized that when a traumatic event happens in your life, not having friends (or even anyone to talk to) can make the situation really bad. Not talking to anyone can make the sense of loneliness magnified. I recently had to go through a traumatic experience alone and it was really hard to cope. AS tendencies does not help.

I have friends but I also have done a lot of stuff alone as that is who I am. That is a common trait with AS like we don't care. I would much rather spend it with a cat who isn't about to hurt me if I am different.

Well, throughout my childhood, I was often alone, but I didn't mind too much. When it bothered me, it was because other kids would get concerned about it and make me feel bad, or they would take it as a chance to bully somebody. They had an implicit assumption that, because THEY don't like being alone, if I was alone I must feel bad too, but I didn't, necessarily. I just felt their social pressure to play with other kids...but it was really hard and scary because I didn't know how to navigate all their rules and came off as weird and got yelled at.

When I was 13, a girl had a crush on me and I remember sitting in my room and suddenly realizing that I had some insight into her thoughts. Up until that point, I didn't exercise much "theory of mind". Other people's motivations and inner thoughts were so different from mine...I assumed it was because they were grown ups, or because they were different from me in some other way. I always knew I was wired up in a particular way, not like my adopted family, and later on I knew it wasn't like most people either.

When I was 16, I experienced loneliness really for the first time, because I loved a girl and I couldn't be with her.