Anyone else afraid of being "found out"?

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Actually, my family and I have known for years (I was diagnosed when I was 7, found out about it a number of years ago).

The reactions to revealing it on the Internet have ranged from "lol self-diagnosed gtfo" to "O RLY?".

The guys at work are likely too busy to pay attention to whatever I do.

I try to tell people I have it and then, they, thinking it's some kind of mental sickness, deny me.

So, I don't talk about it even when the same people ask me why I don't talk more or why do I do the things I do.

That's the truth.

I wouldn't want to proclaim it to everyone. My whole 'social life' (if it can even be called social) is basically a lie covering up what I really feel. I never say what I think, just what is socially 'normal'. Love is especially a tricky issue. I can't love, nor do I feel empathy or sympathy, or any kind of emotional attachment — only cultural obligation. Freud would have a field day on this, but I think, as an exception, the only people I have an emotional attachment to are the adult female figures in my life (mother, grandmothers, etc.).

The few people I've told don't believe me. If only they were in my head.

I was sort of forced out when some people were saying pretty derogatory things about Aspies. I pointed out their wrongness, so they asked me who I was to comment on it, after all, they had a cousin with it, or had once met someone with austism. A few years later, I was asked why I was "such a ret*d", so I answered with "I have Asperger's", and the same people from before were surprised by my answer.

Probably not. To some people, it may be a shocker, but it really dosen't effect them as much because they don't have it. To most people I seem like a cool and quiet guy, but I hide it so well that they barely know its there unless something happens that gives me the urge to tell them. I've already revealed to teachers and my boss that I have Aspergers,and it helped them understand me more and it gave me accommodations such as extra time or more study hall. Most of my close friends know about it too because we all have been affected by it or know someone who as it.

Everyone in real life I am close to knows I have AS. If they want to believe sterotypes after YEARS of knowing me that is their problem, not mine.

I've experienced this before. Some girl asked me the same thing, "Adam do you do that because of that thing you have?". Yeah, I quit talking to her.

I suppose I am afraid of being "found out," because I worry that someone will recognize me through this site. For example, I think the "post your pic" threads are a great idea because it can be easier to get to know someone if you know what they look like, but I'm hesitant to participate just in case. I'm sure the odds are astronomically low, though, so I may change my mind.

Outside of WP, I don't really worry about it. I get poked fun at a lot (though it usually seems to be in good humor) by people who don't know me very well for taking things literally all of the time and for getting excited about the "wrong" things, so I guess they already know that's something's a bit off about me. I'd imagine if these people learned of AS, they would probably just think "Well, that explains it."

I would have slugged her.

Honestly, as an NT who once dated an Aspie, I understand the idea of fear but truthfully, if they are really your close friends, you should be confident enough to be honest with them. At least you'll know if they are real friends or not. If someone is going to judge you for it, they aren't fit to be in your life as a friend. Not all NT's are going to judge you, you shouldn't feel you have to lie about yourself to be liked. The important thing is that you aren't a stranger to them, they know who you already are so they'll be less likely to dwell on Aspergers. If someone was a stranger and didn't have any history with you, they'd be more inclined to judge. As long as you are honest about it, answer their questions (which they will ask to try to understand, not to judge), and share yourself and your experiences, hopefully you'll find that your friends really are as close as you thought. Again, I get the fear factor, but any relationship or friendship that isn't honest isn't a good one. Your close friends and partners deserve to know the truth, if they like you as you are already, it shouldn't be a big deal. (BTW, I'm sure they already know something is up, it's not the kind of thing that is invisible to an NT, especially a close one).

Speaking as an NT, I find it disgusting how people stereotype people with certain disabilities and then attribute every fault of that person to their disability and, in a sense, look upon them as less than human.

Many NT's exhibit traits of AS due to social anxiety or other factors, and everybody is understanding of this when it happens every once in a while. However, when someone is known to have AS and has a shortcoming, the reaction is very different. I've seen this with my own two eyes with the way one of my best friends, who has AS, was treated on a regular basis in high school.

To me, telling only the people who "need to know" that you have AS sounds like a pretty good idea. If they like you as a person regardless of your AS, that detail isn't all that necessary for them anyway. Then, after you've known them long enough to trust them not to treat you any differently, you can always let them know later if you feel like they'll be supportive.

well i was talking to make on the chat thing and a person said dont tell other people about your bad times just do talk about it here funny thing this is the only place i can talk she thinks i do it for attention so i think just dont tell any one

No. Our true selves need not be guarded like some horrible secret. Consider all the ridiculous people that put on a false front and end up making their lives difficult. Why be one of them?

I don't tell people about my unique wiring unless its relevant or necessary. Doing otherwise would seem like a silly grasp for attention. But at the same time I don't fear being "found out," either.

I'm less afraid of being "found out" today, though I don't go around with a huge sign. The problem is that if you have Asperger's, neurotypical peers jealous of your success within one area could use it as an attack reminiscent of a dagger in the back. "That guy's maybe good at maths, but he has Asperger's, so he isn't sound of mind." They never say things like that in front of you though, always behind your back.

If you have Asperger's in this society, you are seen as a semi-retard almost, forever stamped with the behaviour you had when you were seven or nine years old. For some people - perhaps a large amount - the diagnosis is a liberation, since it allows them to get welfare from the state. For others, it is holding them back.

I haven't hidden my official diagnosis of AS from anyone. I teach at a public high school (gifted program) and my students know as well as much of the faculty. Any problems? None so far. I am still treated the same as I have been for the past 23 years at this school---with respect.

I do a music ministry at local area churches, and I dedicate my talents in music to the Lord through Him making me autistic. And after my performances, nearly all the people who come up to me afterwards want to discuss my folk instruments. They don't treat me in disrespectful ways. They expect me to be knowledgeable in what I do. Some ask me for advice in dealing with autistic members in their families. This has been a very positive experience for me.

My family treats me the same as they always have after I received my official diagnosis of AS as an adult.

Where I live, people regard autism as giving people a unique kind of intelligence. And they understand it comes with social challenges---but not stupidity.

At this time in my life (middle age), I have accepted a motto of "My journey has just begun." This is my journey in life with the understanding that autism has been the reason for my eccentricities and special intense interests that have so driven my life. I am not alone in the world as I had once thought I was. I accept my differences in a positive light, and I know that I am among a group of respectable individuals on the autistic spectrum. I am not ashamed. Instead, I celebrate.

Fair enough points so far as they go. For me part of the problem is most of time I lack any sense of a group of close friends. I have a few associates at work, some people I spend time with at church, but hardly anyone who I interact with in the physical world is actually what I would term "close friend." So, pending the relationship status moving to that level I often feel it easier to make it simpler by not having people know. I've tried to be more open about my AS and often with good results, but often enough with bad results that I'm often terrified of being open. Some people completely don't care when I tell them, some people find me fascinating as a case study to help them learn about a relative, some people go complete denial on me, some people try to give me lectures about the horrors of using labels or words to describe things about ourselves (nice intent but wow that is about as useful as telling someone not to mention that they have a toothache because you don't believe in labeling people). I've had a couple experiences of downright ugly prejudice and a few more where people reacted very badly to me trying to interact in my native format.

Partly I worry because the most common scenario that it might come up between me and a stranger is there is a particular type of church service that people stereotypically expect me to have performed which I was exempted from because of AS. Church didn't want their program to be interrupted by needing to make accommodations for people that needed extra support. However most people who don't perform this certain service in my church generally have been and are considered to be morally defective. I won't go into the history of why that is considered to be. Since AS isn't an obvious physical disability, any time this particular type of church service comes up in conversation, which is often in church circles, I either have to dodge the conversation or risk everybody assuming I'm making it up to cover some dark secret in my past. Easier to dodge the question most of the time. Last time it happened I got lucky and there was someone else in the discussion who immediately started talking about how they almost were exempted because of their cancer.