"You're Not Even Trying"

Post Reply New Topic

Have people ever said this to you? I mainly received it from therapists when they tried to help me learn "social skills". I posted a blog about it.

http://dwarren57.wordpress.com/2010/10/ ... en-trying/

oh ffs. yes! all the time, i got it mostely from my stupid mom and her dumbass husband. the schools was also bad with it, little did they know, I WAS OBSESSED WITH ROCKS. because i had aspergers! i mean really, i wish looking back on it now they feel terrible for making me feel like crap.

Oh well, what am i gonna do? revenge isnt mine.

I like your blog post.

I don't really know what laziness is, so I will look it up (not trying seems related to laziness to me.)

1. Inactivity resulting from a dislike of work
2. Relaxed and easy activity
3. Apathy and inactivity in the practice of virtue (personified as one of the deadly sins)

I don't think I ever fit criteria one despite being called lazy or saying I don't try hard enough.

Here's the only definition of try that I found to be pertained (sorry, definitions are how I figure things out a lot)

1. Make an effort to accomplish something

Why would someone not try at all? Perhaps from laziness, as in a dislike of work. So the two are related. Despite NTs having theory of mind and empathy, supposedly, they seem to lack it when falsely accusing others of laziness or not trying hard enough. I would tell someone who said this to me if I could that in reality they are the ones not trying hard enough to understand and accept.

I hate those four words!! !! ! I heard them for 12 #%$*ing years!!

I will never say those words to my son.

Not to be crass, but I've learned in life that if someone never struggled with a subject, they are generally sh!t at teaching it.

Yeah. Some people just have no idea...

Yeah, I've heard this a lot. Mostly from extroverted classmates or the people in my residence hall. They seem to think that the only thing stopping me from making friends is lack of effort. These are usually the same people who later show no interest in anything I have to say.

...my parents...

Yes, my sister says this to me. She says that I need to make more of an effort, but I am not sure what this mysterious "effort" is. I've tried to explain to her that I can't connect with people. I think she finally gets it because she was telling me that at a party she was explaining to a couple of people I know that I have problems connecting with others, but they thought she was slagging me off and told her that they don't think I have a problem and that they like me. Granted, I like these people too, but they never invite me anywhere and don't include me in things.

I seem to be liked, but don't have the tools to bridge the gulf and turn that into friendship.

I'm irked that my son's school report equates ''effort'' with ''results''. You can be turning yourself inside out with ineffectual effort which fails to produce the expected results. How does that make the effort invalid?

Perpetual treadmill of my life, thy name is "trying".

Those are my least favorite words. And half the time i have no clue what they are talking about (context wise).

yes i hear this all the time from coworkers (who most are right out of high school), my mother, and my therapist. my mother likes to say "im spinning my wheels". its annoys the hell out of me.