How come some aspies have friends and others can't make any

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I don't make friends easily either, but I'm at the point where I really don't give a damn anymore. Enemies, now that I seem to be good at!

I'm at the point where I really don't give a damn anymore. I, myself try not to worry about alliamces though it's not easy still, I do okay with keeping distance between myself and scorpions..

The diagnosis of Asperger doesn't medically exist, like it or not, Its just a label given to autistic spectrum people with particular autistic traits. There's absolutely no reason to label those particular set of traits - a label which is too abused by non-auties too.
There's a reason why they are removing it from the upcoming new DSM.





Oh.... prove it.







Ok , don't be sad, you are then Ms.HIGH functioning superior being.
Anyways,female ....male ...shemale, that doesn't matter, you still a grammar nazi with a perfectionism complex.






I am understanding every single word/phrase you're saying here, again ....since you are that perfect in English and since I am failing to achieve your linguistic perfection then why don't you point out the grammar errors (in bold) in my posts?

That would be a win-win favor , a double win for you: 1- You can improve my English a bit and that would cause less annoyance for you in the future. 2- Imagine the pleasure you gonna get for humiliating me in front of all members by showing them my terrible grammar errors.

So what about it? Tempting ,no? Go ahead.





O Really??

Wrongplanet is an English website , true , but it is not restricted for people who are perfect in English, there are a lot of non Englishs-speakers members here and a lot of very young members and there are even dyslexic members who can't even properly write any language ,even their native one. Do you want to prevent their contribution here because their English doesn't meet your "perfect" linguistic level?

Am I really being unfair to people around me here by using my imperfect English?
Let's see ..... I am gonna find out this soon:

http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt132031.html


and oh .... one more thing:


I think LFAs are better than you as overall because they are far more modest than you.

I don't know what to say then. That is my impression, however few people agree.

Ever since I entered my twenties, it seems the extreme nerds are much more clannish then normal people, and difficult to get along with. I know some people in IT who are kinda nerdy, and they're pretty neat and easy to talk to, but they ain't the kinda people I'm talking about.

Bridge Management has instructed me to ask everyone to cease feeding the trolls.

I think the ability to make friends depends on how strongly someone desires friends in the first place, coupled with the ability to overcome the anxiety that sometimes comes with trying to socialize.

I've never really had a friend, though I would come home from school and cry to my mother for hours when I was younger...
it always seemed as if I was approaching people, and in the back of my mind was that horrible suspicion that people would make fun of me out of earshot. I'm very verbose and can talk for hours on different academic subjects, and what finally happened was someone would blatantly interrupt me with some gossip or something similarly inane and change the subject, and then the conversation would continue as if I wasn't there. I would try very hard to care about boys, and clothes, but just couldn't. Even at family holidays no one really spoke to me. My mother would always accuse me of "having to have the last word" or "always thinking I was right", or "trying to be a know-it-all", and so eventually, I stopped speaking altogether.

During the few years I was in college, it wasn't a problem, because no one spoke to me. I would badly have liked to debate in my political science courses, but my throat would close up and I'd be on the verge of tears, trying to work up the nerve. I haven't spoken aloud to anyone but my parents in four years.

i have oto many freinds to count it;s always been this way since i was little sincei have aspects of aspegers the social probelms aren't really there alot ppl r just drawn to me cuz my amzaing friednly , open, kind,creative,easygoing,outgoing, fun loving, funny persnility also cuz i have unquie ways of having fun that ppl likei put on skate and bmx shows at skate parks do videos of skate and bmx and video gameb toruneys and dance offs( with some videos) plus i have dirvesre array of interests which gets me on with diffrent ppl i go to punk , metal and post hardcore shows well i meet ppl in the mosh i meet skatet and bmxer buds at skate parks, dirt trails and downtown street spots overhear ppl talking bout games i like and asking ot get togehtrr to play them and doin stuff with diffrent types of ppl aside from my main group of freinds i do eveything with i have sub groups i do certin acvvtiteis with

I have had acquaintances on and off - not my pickin-
until they realised I was odd/weird/freaky
and my personal favourite any of the ones that describe a child of satan
or I 'moved'

I have done this a lot - plus moved locations, provinces and at one time the country
Many times I hitch-hiked - people act weird about that..

I don't have many friend my age (25) but i have one older then me I never really have friend my age and now I don't like any one young then me

This could be becaues I was home school and did't have much family around too

Ok I didnt really read much through this post but for me I have several not too close friends. Say around 7 friends(in person). I have more on the internet. Ive only had 1 close friend in my entire life that was in person. I have really strict definitions when it comes to considering a person a close friend. So I've probably had more on looser terms. Im actually not sure. For me, the reason why i have trouble making friends is heavily due to my shyness and my childhood. I was selectivly mute for almost 10 years of my childhood so I had no friends. I was really confused for a long time on approaching people and talking to them. I was diagnosed with AS at 18 and since then I've worked extremley hard to develop adequate social skills. I practically started from scratch when I was 17(I had the social skills of a 6,7yr old at the time). Trying to work with developing social skills and overcoming shyness problems has been the main problem. As far as Im concerned, Im pretty high functioning on the spectrum. Making friends and socializing is one of my biggest problems.

Here's my idea that I'll keep on spewing for the rest of my time visiting this forum. There are plenty of schizoids out there who have been diagnosed as aspergers when they're under 18 till their diagnose change. I think this still needs some revamping because from what I heard in the schizoid forum, their behavior really start to change in their childhood and adolescent meaning the symptoms don't just appear in the early adulthood. That's just one of the many possible explanation to why some aspies don't really have any friends.

Define 'friend'.

Someone you're not enemies with, maybe. Someone you don't want to kill, maybe. Someone you have to put up with but doesn't annoy you too much. haha

Or the complete douchebags who operate in packs and follow the most dominant of the group, wearing the same clothes, speaking in lame social banter, picking on outsiders....... no, those people are lame. Why in the hell would I want to spend time around them? It's boring. And annoying.

A friend is someone who sends me emails saying that they need my help in transferring money, a friend is someone who never has time for me but calls me up whenever they want or need something. The word friend is extremely overused nowadays. What most people call friendships; I want nothing to do with

I want friends and then I don't. I really don't have many friends, actually I have some acquintances..but I can't seem to move past that. I get very lonely and I don't really know how to keep friends. The reason I don't want friends is that they do tend to tax my energy and I feel like I understand them but they don't understand me.

That last thing you, about understanding them but not feeling understood... I relate to that. I do feel that way with at least some of my friends.

Exactly - and I can especially relate.

Would you really want to be "friends" with someone who values you only to the extent that you have something to offer to him or her?

I would honestly rather have 1-2 genuine friends than have 20+ "friends" who, for example, never make any effort to see me except when they need something.

Avoid those people like the plague. Find the people who are actually worthy of your time.

This, I've been tolerated by others in the past (and sometimes now,) as they figure that having a smart "friend" is a good thing to have, especially since they don't have to put any effort into actually being friends with them!

Anyway, it really depends on the other people, and the social skills of the aspie. My previous school (roughly from age 7-12) was filled with intolerant bullies and had an anti intellectual culture (not among the teaching staff, but among the students.) You can imagine how that treated a very introverted, curious Aspie. Now, I'm at a school which is much more accepting, and although I can't relate to the majority of the students, I'm not bullied and am somewhat "popular" (not in the Hollywood sense, but in the sense of being well-liked by practically everyone.) The difference between the two schools? The first school did not tolerate difference, the second did.

Last edited by samsa on 15 Nov 2010, 11:16 pm, edited 1 time in total.