Facebook Stalking

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Is it normal?

LET THE DEBATE ... BEGIN!

I think it is. So many people I know fb stalk. Cause as people were naturally curious about people we dont know very well(or at all). So considering that you can just browse every aspect of a persons profile which is very harmless as opposed to actually stalking a person for real. Why not?

I get accused of this all the time and I don't see it as a big deal (in opposed to regular in person stalking).

Besides...one of the most important rules of the internet is don't put anything online that you're not willing to share with everyone.

Yea, that is what I am thinking, however, it seems so different.
Instead of trying to talk to someone or hang out with them, we look at pictures, and see their life to judge their personality.

yet another reason i will never get a facebook account.

I somewhat agree with you there. I usually have to keep telling myself that despite all the facebook stalking to learn more about the particular person in question so that I will know how to interact with them (who's in their life, what are their interests etc) that people don't seem to like when you know them pretty well after only a few days.

For example, I met a girl online Sunday November 21st, around noonish? We texted throughout the day and I met her in person at around 8pm (I was extremely nervous of course lol)

After getting the friend request accepted I found it fun to go through her news feed to learn more about her. Now I know what her favorite music is, possible reasons why she'd be stressed out (family, job, etc) all so that I can in turn react accordingly. Monday we didn't talk very much so she didn't seem as interested in me as Sunday, but I had to realize that it was because she wasn't in a very happy mood...and generally people don't talk to people they don't feel they know very well when they're not happy.

Well, you could just set your security settings really high.



I'd say it is. After all, Facebook would be kind of boring if you just had to stare at your own profile and news feed.

The other thing I don't understand is that I added someone that I did met in person a couple weeks ago, but didn't really know. When I sent the friend request I attached a note saying I knew we didn't know each other very well, but I wanted to get to know her.

Then when I send her a message...She freaked out...Why would you add someone if you don't wanna talk to them?

I am really glad you posed this question to the community. I was just dx'd as PDD-NOS three months ago. I really get now why their is a spectrum.

When I found out what my 'issue' was-because I can't tell you guys how many wrong dx's I have had, I started reading about Aspergers. It's obvious to me I am in the middle of the 2-PDD-NOS and Aspergers, I remembered things I would do when I was growing up. I am in my 30's. When I was in elementary school I remember I started 'observing' NT's. Mainly the pretty, popular girls. It wasn't until the 8th grade, that I was able to start 'mimicking' them. I wasn't able to keep it up once I was close to someone. So, those relationships would always, always fall through. But in highschool I would call the cheerleaders and 'prom queens' phones and listen to their voice mails. I wanted to know what their social life was like, hoping they might have a 'personal message' on it. Also, to hear what they said and what they 'sounded' like. As, I got older and out of highschool, I moved onto MTV and the 'super models'. Almost the same thing as the way it was put in the beginning thread 'stalking.' it was for observing. I wanted so badly to feel and be seen as normal and pretty and popular.

When I realized this was about my Aspergers, I cried and cried. I didn't know. It all makes sense now though. Because no matter how 'accepted' I was initially with others and with men my relationships ALWAYS fall through. I don't have any hobbies. Researching my latest 'obsession' is not a hobby. I never understood why people had hobbies. I would think-'geeze-what a waste of brain space and time!' So, when I would first start a relationship with a guy, I would listen to everything he liked and I would become a chameleon, dressing the way he did etc.

Mimicking-It's a sharade an act on my part. I pray I will find a way to communicate better, maintain friendships, understand language better so I am not so sensitive with men-taking everything so literal-which starts fights and shows my insecurities. Anyway, for me I stay off of facebook because I now have moved on to magazines and celebrities. To find who I want to emulate and see what is "normal" HA!

Great Thread!! !! !

I think Facebook stalking is becoming normal. If people want to know something about someone, and can, they probably will. It is normal, because so many people use it and it is natural to be curious about what "so and so" is doing. It used to be if you wanted to be a stalker you would have to follow someone in person. Now, it is much easier because that person may have a facebook profile and often all it takes to find someone's info is typing in their email or searching that person's name.

Facebook is a very popular current trend right now. As long as there are people out there with public profiles, for whatever reasons, there will be many facebook stalkers. So yes it is normal, even though it can be odd and some times creepy.

Last edited by Pondering on 25 Nov 2010, 5:51 pm, edited 1 time in total.

This is quite true...it's very easy to find someone on facebook, and then of course using that info they can turn into a real stalker by getting addresses and phone numbers and whatnot.

Its normal. Nobody admits to doing it, yet everybody does it.

Yes, limits can be crossed, but casually checking out someone's profile isn't exactly strange anymore.