How do you make friends
Where can i go to make friends? my family has cut me off I spend all my day in the house. I have been to the doctors about my depression and I had diastorous reaction to the anti-depressants. I would like to overcome my anxiety and nervousness talking to people. How can i create opportunities to meet people and access community activities?
When it comes to me; I've realized that I am a very, 'friendly' person. I don't have any close friends, but I sort of know people and I'm nice to everyone. I talk to everyone whether they like me or not, because I usually can't tell if they like me or not. I consider the people I talk to often, my friends. I didn't know or believe this when I was young. Up until I was 30, I just felt they were people I associated with for some sort of purpose or something.
I think all the women at my youngest sons bus stop are my friends. I've shared plant cuttings, used kids clothing, resources etc... I like them. I think they are OK with me and my weird self.
If I were you, I'd try smiling a lot when you run into people. Even if it feels wrong, who cares. It seems to make everyone feel good. You could try going to the library; you might find someone who has some of your same interests and sit w/ them.
This is a hard question, because... I don't, 'hang-out' w/ people.
I use Meetup.com with a limited success (which is better than nothing). I have a couple of Meetups I visit...
Plus martial arts dojo where I train.
Still not enough, but...
for me, I met my best friend under strange circumstances, which involved setting fire to a bench and getting busted (yeah, I was young & stupid ), other than that, most of my friends I got from doing group assignments at school and such, usually getting to know them from chitchat after we were done or something like that.
i'd say you have to get out some more, your problem may be remedied in the same way you overcome a fear of something...
elderwanda
Veteran
Joined: 17 Nov 2008
Age: 57
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,534
Location: San Francisco Bay Area
I use Meetup.com with a limited success (which is better than nothing). I have a couple of Meetups I visit...
Plus martial arts dojo where I train.
Still not enough, but...
I don't think I'm quite "on the spectrum" exactly, but I do have a difficult time with meeting people.
A couple of months ago, I was lurking around on the internet and came across Meetup.com . I started searching for groups related to things I was interested in, and almost gave up. Then, right before giving up, I put in "theater". I discovered a group of people who get together to read plays. Not experienced actors or anything fancy, just people who would like to read a character in a play. And it was within walking distance of my house!
So I joined, and signed up for the first play, which was "A Man for All Seasons". I got to read the part of Lady Alice.
When I was there, in the social time before the reading started, I noticed there wasn't the usual awkward small talk. Since we were all there for a specific purpose, there was none of that uncomfortable feeling of not knowing what to say or how to join in. The topics of conversation came naturally: the play itself, the movie, experience with other meet-up groups. It was already a given that everyone was just as welcome as everyone else, so I didn't stand around wondering if it was okay for me to come and join a small conversation, because I knew that it was.
Then after the play, it was even easier, because we had all had the experience of taking a little risk (reading in front of each other), and were celebrating each other's efforts and successes.
I've heard that meetup groups really vary, though, and some are mostly someone's attempt to sell something. So be careful of that. I think it's good to join a group that has a specific activity, because then there isn't all that pressure of not knowing what to do or what to say.
richardbenson
Xfractor Card #351
Joined: 30 Oct 2006
Gender: Male
Posts: 13,553
Location: Leave only a footprint behind
go to college, join a club, just get out anywhere you can. maybe your intrests will provide you a diveing board to a possible friendships. I'm just unmotivated, and scared otherwise i'd have alot of friends, One day (much like my alcoholism) i'll tackle that and at the very least come out half a winner
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Winds of clarity. a universal understanding come and go, I've seen though the Darkness to understand the bounty of Light
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