Walking up to a complete stranger the aspie way.

Page 2 of 2 [ 22 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2

galwacco
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 5 Jan 2011
Age: 44
Gender: Male
Posts: 64

21 Jan 2011, 5:44 am

KingHenry wrote:
Isnt this topic supposed to be for advice on how to approach people? Because thats exactly what I havent seen yet. And I was looking forward to seeing some useful answers in here.


Yeah, and you gave much of an advice here, huh?!

And yet, I've seen advices here, like this one:

tangomike says:
Posted: Sat Jan 08, 2011 8:10 pm Post subject:
well first off dont just walk up to people in any situation or it will just be weird. For example dont just walk up to someone in the grocery store and start conversation, wait for say someone you bump into at a book store or at the movies (idk what you do in your town) over a random comment like "oh its so hot today!" and then go into agreeing with them. you can take that into something more personal and then the conversation can start from there. idk you can do it however you want, it really depends on your personality and how quick on your feet you are. I'm not quick on my feet so I am only friends with people Ive met thru forced environments like school or sports.



jamieboy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Sep 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,619

21 Jan 2011, 11:53 am

KingHenry wrote:
Isnt this topic supposed to be for advice on how to approach people? Because thats exactly what I havent seen yet. And I was looking forward to seeing some useful answers in here.


Me too tbh. Perhaps people haven't read it yet or are unable to offer advice as it is something that they also struggle with? I think it's my only social option at the moment apart from the AS group that i've just joined that only meets once a month.



Moog
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Feb 2010
Age: 45
Gender: Male
Posts: 17,671
Location: Untied Kingdom

21 Jan 2011, 12:04 pm

KingHenry wrote:
Isnt this topic supposed to be for advice on how to approach people? Because thats exactly what I havent seen yet. And I was looking forward to seeing some useful answers in here.


Look (feel/be) friendly, smile, open body language, walk or move slowly (not too slowly, just not fast and jerky), make eye contact, open with a simple 'hello' or something, introduce yourself (perhaps), state your intention/say whatever it is you want to say.

Maybe not entirely in that order, but mostly. Fiddle around with it a bit to find what works.


_________________
Not currently a moderator


jamieboy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Sep 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,619

21 Jan 2011, 12:16 pm

I am so intimidated by the prospect of having to do this! Have you had any such success doing this yourself Moog?



Moog
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Feb 2010
Age: 45
Gender: Male
Posts: 17,671
Location: Untied Kingdom

21 Jan 2011, 2:00 pm

jamieboy wrote:
I am so intimidated by the prospect of having to do this! Have you had any such success doing this yourself Moog?


Sure, I do it quite often. It's usually a bit awkward, but I don't know, I get by on projected kindness. Some people will not want to talk much, some will, that's something you can learn through experimentation. There's a few people around this area who seem to really like me because I'm a good listener (probably because I find it safer to be a receptive listener than a talker).

I learn quite a bit when I take the dog out, often you can go and walk up to other dog owners and have a chat. Often I had no choice, as my dog would hare off towards the other dog, so I'd follow her. It was good practice.

It's likely that the worst thing someone would do is tell you to get stuffed. Most people are pretty polite at least.

My advice would be to practice on the elderly, as they tend to be a bit more easy going, enjoy talking to people, and either won't notice or will more readily forgive any oddness you may exhibit.

Last thing; I am aware that my body language is the all important key, at least for me. I tend to look a bit shifty/defensive/wary, and it seems to make people feel uneasy. I'm really trying to be a lot more natural in the way I arrange my body and face. :lol:


_________________
Not currently a moderator


KingHenry
Butterfly
Butterfly

User avatar

Joined: 30 Dec 2010
Age: 26
Gender: Male
Posts: 9

21 Jan 2011, 9:05 pm

KingHenry wrote:
Isnt this topic supposed to be for advice on how to approach people? Because thats exactly what I havent seen yet. And I was looking forward to seeing some useful answers in here.


I know my post hasnt been very informative but thats because I also suck at this and was kinda looking for advice too