A cousin's rude response

Post Reply New Topic

Gone

Just from your posting, it looks like you are reading a lot into what she said ('She wrote back with this attitude', etc.). Are you sure you didn't just misinterpret her?

I can't really know, but it sounds like you both owe each other an apology.

Its always served me best to not take offense to things that stupid people say. When I have most of the time I've got it wrong or misinterpreted something. Its never made a situation better.

Her socializing with me has a lot to do where she comes from and where she stands in society, and where I stand on society. Her parents make gobbs of money and sent she and her sister to an very expensive private school where they are taught to be competitively smarter than other people and get into top schools. She has since graduated and goes to Boston University and fits in well there.

Meanwhile, my aunt, who generally has talked and acted the same way taught both my cousins that they were more important figures and couldn't talk to anyone below their status because they would be a bad influence on them. In fact, the last time I saw either was 8 years ago when I was living 3 miles away and they acted like they didn't know me and completely ignored me. This was because they were concerned that I was going to make a scene in front of my cousins and so I wasn't invited over to dinner.

I snapped because I felt like I had asked her nicely and got the cold shoulder from her and I wasn't going to take anymore from her.

As someone who has next to no ability to show restraint, I have no useful advice for you. But I would suggest considering that so much is lost through written communication, especially these days when people aren't taught all that well how to write. I'm not suggesting that you misinterpreted anything, but perhaps things escalated faster than they would have, had the conversation taken place in person.

That said, I absolutely understand the frustration of being picked on and derided over a lifetime. Snapping at people doesn't accomplish anything meaningful though. It doesn't turn them around to your point of view or help them understand you, and, judging by your post, it didn't make you feel better either. So maybe just explaining to them how they made you feel would have sufficed, without the emotional outburst. If they have compassion within them, they will at least attempt to justify themselves, if not apologize. And if they don't, then they're not worth your time.

I am actually not bothered by it anymore and figured if that was going to feel that way and act that way with me then I wasn't going to bother with her anymore. I have my life and myself to worry about, and she has the same. So it's fair game on both ends. If she is going to be a

As for apologizing, it wouldn't make any difference to them since they like to pick other people apart and find everything wrong and hold a grudge. I was trying my best not to get angry with them but I can't be rosy with them 24/7 and step on eggs shells around my poor aunt and her poor daughters just because they happen to be one-sided. In fact, I am all drained out from crying and feel cold and numb from this last straw.

It's just that I had been trying to be nice to them for years and nothing really changes and I can't change them so I am not going to talk to them anymore.

Why did you post this same post to two different sections of the forum?

Wefunction, to get different angles and insights on the posting.

Okay, cool. It never occurred to me to do that.

I wasn't aware and so I will remove this posting.