Not getting invited

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If there is a function in my husbands family they call up and invite him
But when there is function in my side of the family yet they call up and invite him

Isnt it strange...
my cousin is getting married next month
her father called up my husband and gave a formal invitation there was no wedding card also send

He didnt bother to call me up.

What do you guys feel? Atleast im feeling this is wrong he should have personally invited me
The casual approach means im not attending the wedding and i have bought a expensive gift
to be given but i would refrain from giving it and not send anything instead.

Is this a cultural issue?

If it where a western household I'd consider it nothing major and if the guys planned they'd normally call the other guys. If the girls planned they'd normally call the other girls...

But from first hand experience with lets say.. bengali couples. I've noticed women to be more in the background, obedient/quiet/dutiful rather than questioning. The men set things up, and the women come along automatically.

Since im the first cousin he should have directly invited me rather then calling up my husbands mobile
yes in India society is male dominated but then here its got nothing to do with culture...if im her cousin
then he should have called me up

I think I would also prefer to be contacted directly. There are several possible reasons why he was called instead, but I obviously don't know all the details. Assuming he didn't have a good reason to call him instead, you are right to be hurt. But if you're hurt enough to make this post, then I'd bet the wedding is important enough to you to go ahead and attend anyway, and be the bigger person, gift and all. Just my opinion.

If he did not call me directly that is very reason he doesnt want me to attend
it was just a casual attempt at sending a invitation.
i wont be going
and everyone knows that during vacation season here tickets are not available at short notice
it takes atleast 3 months prior intimation for booking tickets.

If he did not call me directly that is very reason he doesnt want me to attend
it was just a casual attempt at sending a invitation.
i wont be going
and everyone knows that during vacation season here tickets are not available at short notice
it takes atleast 3 months prior intimation for booking tickets.

Ah, I see. That is a very hurtful thing, to invite your husband only and not want you to come.

courtesy my witchy mother who spoiled my relationships with my uncles and aunts by badmouthing me
she will get what she wants....i wont attend any function.
its going to be just her getting all the limelight.

I can't offer any practical advice, but I want to express my sympathy. Too many times I've heard, "oh, I wish you could come, but there is just no room for you," when in fact there was plenty of room and it was a lame excuse.

When my cousin got married several years ago, nobody even bothered to TELL me she was getting ready to do that. I overheard other family members talking about it. That's how I found out. No, I didn't receive an invitation. No, I didn't attend.

I get along exceedingly well with everyone I encounter and am popular in social situations. But I never get invitations.

The best example I can give is my high school reunion. I was one of the most popular kids in my class even though I was a phantom. At the 10-year reunion I had lots of pleasant exchanges with many classmates. There were tons of after parties following the reunion and I was not invited to any of them.

At work, whether it's my day jobs or on productions, no one ever expresses interest in getting to know me outside of work.

I don't know why this is, it just... is, and always has been.

Though in all honesty I'm so self-absorbed with issues right now that if I said I actually cared I never get invitations I would be a hypocrite. I am really not interested in other people at this phase of my life, even less so than usual.

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The same is the case with me
People are not interested to keep me in their company
I cant offer them anything exciting.

The same is the case with me
People are not interested to keep me in their company
I cant offer them anything exciting.

Yes same is happening with me
And even before when i had connection with my family that time also i was not told
what is happening
so now when i have broken ties with my family i dont expect to get any information

Well I kind of gotten where I don’t expect to be invited. With my family I kind ask if we are doing anything special for holidays and birthdays. Now I belong to a couple of groups on Face Book and I will go to the group function. I always get that “Let’s get together sometime!” and when I try to it never comes together. So I just say in my mind “Okay, whatever!” Most people who find out we are Aspie, they don’t understand that we have feeling too. They are also afraid of the AS thing. When people ask “How come you weren’t at the party?” I say “Nobody ask me!” “I guess I am chopped liver to them?!” I have found guilt helps. I have made some new friends and they are on the upper IQ scale and I do get invited to some of their parties. With family sometimes you have to just say “Screw’em!”

"Let's get together sometime"= nearly always completely insincere load of bull. It's almost like an NT code phrase for, "I'm not really that interested."

When someone says this and you call them afterward to make plans they almost never answer their phone, or call you back. I haven't bothered trying for years.

I don't think I've ever told someone this and not followed through and I don't understand why it's considered acceptable behavior, but if you call someone out on it they get awkward. It pisses me off so much, sometimes if I'm in a bad mood I like to f*ck with people when I run into them: "I thought we were going to get together?"

Unless someone gives you a specific time and date right then and there, never believe it.

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i have come across some online meetup groups
but unfortunately too afarid to attend the meetups
usually im ignored, or called weird too quite etc
so i keep to myself rather then attend these meetups