do you find that you can "learn" things about soci

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StevieC
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06 Jun 2011, 7:14 pm

there was a time a few years ago where i had no idea how to speak to people, and now i can actually speak to a few people. now if only i could learn not to make conversation so mechanical and more spur-of-the-moment... that said, i can do it for about half an hour tops , esp if im being bombarded with information, but other than that.

do you find that you can pick up "parameters" of conversation? and apply them in real time?


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CockneyRebel
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06 Jun 2011, 8:52 pm

I'm able to do that now. I wasn't able to do that when I was in high school. Part of the thing about high school is that I didn't want my peers to find out what I liked. My mum said that once my high school bullies found out what I liked, that they would be bugging me about them. She thinks that she told me that for my own happiness. Those were the saddest years in my life. The reason that I wasn't able to do those things, is because I was afraid to talk to my peers about anything because of that.


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IntrepidWolf
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08 Jun 2011, 3:01 am

I cant talk for much longer than 30 minutes either, I have aspergers but I am very social. After 30 minutes my brain just feels overloaded, heavy and hard to process thoughts, almost like an overheating engine. I can hold out up to about two hours if I havent talked to them in a long time or they are a beautiful girl but i usually prefer to talk to someone for like 1-15 minutes.



martyfan
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08 Jun 2011, 6:06 am

I am the same. I've learnt a lot recently about social skills, but having made a lot of mistakes I think I have come forward. I have the same problem with my brain feeling like it's overheating if I'm exposed to a social situation for too long, so I'm glad it's not just me. Other people I think have a hard time comprehending that, especially people whom I like and want to spend time.



izzeme
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08 Jun 2011, 7:13 am

i have also learned quite a lot socially; mostly in the form of 'scripts' that prevent overheating my brain.
the only real problem i have left is getting myself to initiate conversations; which is more a matter of anxiety then social skill...



slashfrehley42
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10 Jun 2011, 11:50 am

I'm fortunate enough to have almost all of my friends as fairly well-adjusted NT individuals. Over time, I've learned what behaviours alienate people (and thus avoid them) and what works.

The best thing that ever happened to me socially was discovering that I'm actually quite funny (probably doesn't come across in my posts, but I'm an amateur comedian and people always refer to me as the funny guy), although figuring out what was funny took a while. But I noticed early on in life that people always liked those who could make them laugh, so that's pretty much my main social tool. Making people laugh, capitalising on thinking differently.