How can anyone have no friends?

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My experience....

Kids were mean when I grew up. If you didn't "fit in" you were treated as an outsider. Not sure how or why I never fit in, but peer pressure was a part of it. If you associated with me, others would not associate with you because of it. So, other than fellow social outcasts or the mentally ret*d kids in school, nobody had anything to do with me...in order to ensure their odds of being "accepted" wouldn't be affected.

"crazy we live in a world of billions, your only friend is a phone."
~Monster Magnet

It does seem strange, when you think about it. I, myself, have plenty of friends though. My computer, my kindle, my car... Who could ask for more?

I have no friends because I haven't been in school for like 6 years, and even there I was always bullied (I went to 3 different schools) so that's why

I have about roughly 5-7 actual friends and most of them live over 100 miles away from me, and I only met 2 of them online. Now when I moved about 4 years ago, I made zero friends, no enemies, but no friends either...I was friends more with my teachers than my friends, but I just finished high school so hopefully college will yield better results! Hope for the best, plan for the worst! Also, a FEW of you may get this face:

http://www.thebuzzmedia.com/wp-content/ ... lution.png

The hypothetical existence of someone who'd like me is totally irrelevant.

I go to my class once a week.
I go to the grocery.
I go to the doctor's office.
I go to visit my parents, other than whom I know not a soul in the world.

Outside of the doctor's office and my parents' living room, no one talks to me and I sure as hell don't know how I'd go about asking them, a random complete stranger, if they are interested in friendship, and then asking them to describe themselves so we might discern if we are compatible.

Was never bullied, but I never understood how school is the place to make friends.

Unless you look a certain way (approachable, I guess) or know what to say to strangers, yourself.

I know I don't.

"So. I am interested in philosophy and academic psychology, and would enjoy an acquaintance with whom I could discuss intellectual topics. Would you be interested, and, if so, free any time this week?"

Surefire way to get labelled a psycho.

I'll never understand how people make friends.

Correlative research.
Surveys.
Naturalistic observation.
Controlled experimentation.

If I mis-extrapolated my personal subjective experiences onto other Aspies, I'd be demanding to know how you can possibly have friends, when I have no clue how to begin to go about it.

Nevertheless, several if not many people here, such as yourself, do have friends,
and so rather than doubting the veracity of their descriptions of themselves by virtue of not being like me,
I accept that-

Y'ALL READY FO DIS?

people are different. Way different. Completely different. Some people's experiences, personalities and lives are so foreign to you as to be near-incomprehensible, your confusion being, I guess, what this thread is about.

How can I not have friends? Seriously? Well, since you asked...

Reason one: friendships are not my priority. Usually the thought of making friends doesn't even cross my mind.

Reason two: I'm a nerd. I'm not "cool." Who would ever want to be friends with some guy who has no life?

Reason three: I'm socially awkward. 'Nuff said.

Reason four: Many people think I'm an as*hole because I don't fake the stuff that NT's do.

Id agree that everyone has different experiences and difficulties. For me, I feel that even amongst aspies, my biggest problem with socializing is rare. I can make conversation, I can get to know someone when given the chance. The flow of communication is what is my biggest problem and it took me literally 3 yrs to be able to explain it so people will understand me. Like ur at a social activity with people you dont know very well, there's a lot of occasional comments, very brief fleeting sporadic interactions in how people are slowly meshing and breaking the ice with each other. I don't know how to do that so I appear very closed off when I don't mean to be. So people often dont give me the chance. I swear if I just knew how to do this, it would solve a huge chunk of my social problems. When Im with a friend in that interaction the chance I will interact is so much huger by 10x. I struggle with social timing a lot so I clam up.

This guy was a troll. How come you guys didn't notice?

If you speak that way to a complete stranger, maybe.

But change the tone of your pitch so it's a little less robotic, and say it in a context where you've associated with the person for awhile, and I would see nothing wrong with it. I'd be flattered if somebody said they'd like to talk over coffee or whatever about psychology.

I had acquaintances in grade school... and I was lucky that a majority of my childhood mates came up the ranks with me. The familiarity of them made me never realize I had issues with TOM.

In college I was more or less in line with GuyTypingOnComputer experience with some better everyday conversations.

I have yet to really understand what a friend is supposed to be.

Ah, so I need to have friends to make friends.

Perfect sense.

I guess I don't know how to not be "robotic", then.

I was pretty functional in high school, for my age- I still lived with my parents, had regular school hours, and boyfriends.

At college I fell apart- the lack of structure, I guess. Whereas there were the same people in all my classes (honors) in high school and occasionally would make a passing remark to me where I could respond, college is totally different- I've been going on and off for five years and apart from a couple professors every few years, no one's ever spoken to me.

My only social contact is via love interests online which almost never come into fruition, one at a time when they occur and usually none at all at any random time. Unless you count my daily ten minute phone call to my mother.


Me neither- I totally lack the experience. It seems like it's just someone whom you don't like well enough to make them your SO?
I dunno. I guess I've always considered it a waste of time if you're in a relationship, though I do crave social contact in whatever form I can get it when I'm not in one.

A friend is someone that you can be alone with in a room and feel comfortable being around. Someone you can have in your house and it's not awkward. Someone you can talk to and not have to think before you speak, knowing they won't judge you for saying the wrong thing. Friendship is not complicated, but these days it is made more complicated than it has to be, just like everything else.

::Closes eyes, breaths deep, tries to be patient::

I didn't say that they had to be a friend. I said someone from a context where you've associated with someone for awhile. An acquaintance, a class mate, a coworker you've chatted with, friend of a sibling, someone from a study group who seems level headed and talks to you. The only person I wouldn't invite to lunch or coffee would be somebody who clearly didn't like me.

And I thought you were going out of your way right there to sound overly direct and logical. Do you actually talk just like that?