Never enough rules.

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It was an in-game conversation regarding something like completing a quest. Nothing to do with real life whatsoever.

Since we were not talking about anything else but the game, it seems odd to me that they would have been thinking about real life. It must have been on their mind somehow. Since I cannot possibly know that, I've decided to not worry about it.

1. Because nobody short of an inpatient at a mental hospital would talk like that.
2. It was a complete deviation from my base-line behavior.

"I know he's really good at making a computer do things, but he doesn't have to say things like that."

I'm not sure what part of that you mean, but you're probably right about all of it. I'm no genius and am entirely self-deluded

Wasn't new -- I have been there with them since the beginning for 1/2 year at least. One is a fairly close friend, actually; the one who mentioned it to my other friend, so that is how he knew I programmed computers at all.

The problem is, I don't know it when I do, so I don't know when to apologize.

I have spent most of my time trying to figure that out. I have book on facial expressions, Social Intelligence, Communication courses... I spend more time on it than anyone I know personally, and not by a little.

The ignorance you speak of is not voluntary.

Sorry, I had to vent. I want to give up and stop socializing entirely, but life doesn't give me that option.

Yeah, that is why I started the thread with the title, "Never enough rules." You're hardly the first person to tell me this kind of thing, though. I spent hours being schooled on why to say, with confidence, "God exists," is offensive. It isn't what I said, but the confidence and absolute way I said it. Since it is considered prideful to say with confidence that God exists, yet apparently NOT prideful to believe that a person has God inside THEM (no kidding, this belief was stated by a person who claimed I was prideful!), there is nothing more to discuss with them. Perception is not reality. Perception affects how we interact with reality and can shape our actions that affect our reality, but reality is reality at any given time regardless of how we perceive it and how we feel about it.

It's funny you should mention the absolutes like that (You aren't. H.H. or C.R. are you? I did use your computer... and I may have left it on this thread...). It's the fluid things that I always have trouble with, which is why I gravitate towards computers. They're concrete. What is, is on them and they don't get offended.

I'll give it a go.

What I learned that swung me to the no-care side was based on that long conversation. The people arguing argued that I absolutely had to be more political and worry about how people think. Now, they conceed that I've never been stupid enough to walk into a room and antagonize people. That isn't my style -- I'm a non-confrontational personality that just wants to be left alone. They are talking about POLITICAL CORRECTNESS... not having strong views to be SENSITIVE. Each reason they gave was what I call "AND". I say A and they react to A AND, the AND being: 1. completely aside from A, and 2. something I couldn't possibly know. For example, if I say something like, "I like Firemen. They're cool," a typical response (strangely, but yes, typical -- is it some twisted luck?) would be silence and then an awkward response, "My father was a Fireman and he beat me." A = Firemen are cool, AND = the perceiver's father's occupation and that their father beat them. (This is a totally fictional example, btw).

Somehow, it becomes my fault, however, that I didn't know that. Something is expected of me -- some sort of ESP perhaps? -- to know. They argued the religion thing -- that some people have bad childhoods that have to do with priests and etc., therefore I should not have strong, confident views on religion. I don't offer them, but if someone asks, I'll tell them, and that is wrong (again, they did not argue that I offer these things.)

So, it's the AND that is the problem. I'm going to guess that this kind of thing happens a lot to everyone, but some people know how to recover through charm and non-verbals that we just cannot, so it's okay. I sometimes listen to people and note how many times they say something I couldn't get away with and, if I use my fingers, I'll run out every time.

So: Since I do not have the non-verbal skills to recover, and their problem is entirely internal, I may regret that someone feels that way, but that is THEIR BUSINESS and, therefore, I should not care because it is NOT MY BUSINESS.

That's how I justify it. It's stuck so far

When you said that you're a genius, do you recall what that other person had said?

I was getting a deeper level of detail. At previous job, my boss would complain that I would start talking about something with out leading into it. I was starting a conversation in the middle of my thought, and he therefore didn't have the opportunity to know were I was coming from.

It took me a minute to get it. You said that "Cause I'm a super genius" with a ret*d voice. LMAO.
Well, if your delivery was good, maybe they're the ones with AS.

Seriously, you started this thread because of that?

Was your friend referring specifically to your genius remark?

I was referring to the later.

Why did you mentioned the original quote?

When did you get a cold response at work?

I thought you were referring to the cold response at work.

Who schooled you on not saying "God exists"? I wouldn't call it pride, but a lack of consideration for the person you're telling it to.

I'm M.P., and haven't met you IRL, that I'm aware of.

On absolutes. I became aware of it some 8 years ago. I was watching the movie "Men in Black", and it's one of the lines. I took note of it, and have seen it brought up in different stories. It's also discussed in the book I'm reading on toxic/healthy shame.

btw, computers also have gray areas. But these are usually hardware or software related. Sometimes it's just cosmic rays.

Thank you. I think the part that helped the most was what you said about things they can get away with saying that we can't. It's something I've sort of sensed but didn't really realise until I read it in your words. Also, you're right about the AND. That's happened to me time and again and I always feel guilty. But not anymore.

They said nothing. I found out through my buddy whom they told.

I mean, only a totally insane egoist would say something like that, not ret*d Although, I was thinking of that sloth on Ice Age, and he's pretty stupid so... maybe.

That and similar statements in context.

Because these quote brackets are tough to edit and, as I said, I'm no genius

Well, maybe not cold. They just didn't get the joke. Probably bad delivery. It isn't so much related, though, because it isn't so over-the-top and obvious as the main one.

The problem is, I don't know it when I do, so I don't know when to apologize.

All in general.

I'll say something in what I think totally comes off as a joking voice on this on-line game I was playing, "Cuz I'm a super-geeenius." Well, I found out that the people I was talking to told my best friend that, "I know he's really good at making a computer do things, but he doesn't have to say things like that."

If they ask me about God and I tell them, "God exists," what am I not considering?

There's another view... that everything in the universe is what it is and our perceptions are flawed and constantly need updating. It is good to have mental flexibility, but there are some things that just are regardless of how flexible our minds are, and the most certain one is the existance of God.