Understanding Verbal and Non-Verbal Cues.

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If I do not understand the verbal cues such as "beg your pardon", "I am deaf", and so on; which imply that I should speak up. How can I even begin to understand the non-verbal cues?

I just realised this is why I am hopeless on the phone... I am confused on where to start to learn these skills. I did not even realise it until today. I went to this "one-off" psychologist and I finished the session not even knowing what was wrong because it was not explicitly mentioned to me. I am now with another psychologist but even more confused. Social Skills are bewildering... I guess I was doomed without even being aware of it.

I am beginning to question the usefulness of a psychologist. I think I also have a learning disorder or unorthodox method of learning, because everytime I have listened to a lecture; I just write everything down not really understanding it until I get home and revise the whole thing again. In other words, I have to teach myself everything or it just becomes a mess. This has hindered my performance and I thought everyone was like this, but it seems like everyone else does not have the same issues.

I was infamous/famous in High School for mentioning that the "Institution is only as good as the people who it consists of", which caused controversy from both the teachers who used it as an excuse for poor student performance as well as the other teachers who considered the statement as to represent "teachers are redundant". Being me; I did not realise this until a few months ago, which is too late to apologise.

How are you even meant to learn social skills? I either realise a problem or I do not...

Asperger's is to social skills what Dyslexia is to spelling I guess. Some people can outgrow it, some can't.

If you analyse people enough, and get enough CLEAR and CONCISE explanations for certain behaviours, I'm thinking you could possibly get a general idea of how to behave in a social situation. But the effort involved I think would be incredibly detrimental to your career or whatever stage of your life you are in.

Even if you do, don't expect to become comfortable in social situations. We can teach ourselves how to be in social situations, but if you aren't comfortable in them then you probably won't be

That's just my experiences, take it with a grain of salt

good luck

D

what he said


i started out by choosing a quiet pub, went in for a drink, studied the few people that were there, and over time(weeks/months), people started speaking to me, thought i was a bit shy/quiet/introverted/weird/whatever, and gradually brought me out of my shell.

over time i was able to try out some of the things i had seen and get an idea of acceptable conversation topis etc.


obviously not for everyone of course


busy pubs where poeple jostle into each other do my head in though...
go for the dive bar every time