Board index › Coping in life › Social Skills and Making Friends

Friends

Page 1 of 1 [ 4 posts ] 

Previous topic | Next topic

faultyproduct
Butterfly
Butterfly

User avatar

Joined: 6 Sep 2011
Age: 55
Gender: Male
Posts: 17

07 Sep 2011, 9:24 am

Hey guys, first time post, great site.....question, i saw and talked to a girl today in my local chemist, who was really friendly and chatty is it appropiate to go back there and say what up gf wanna come out for a coffee as friends? also she was really in my personal space, face to face would that signify something as i have trouble with body language? thanks :)



anneurysm
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Mar 2008
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,196
Location: la la land

11 Sep 2011, 7:21 pm

I wouldn't recommend you say 'What up, gf' as this seems a little too casual for someone you are just meeting. It is worth a try to politely ask her to coffee or for lunch. Try doing some small talk for a bit first (like about the weather) as it will make her feel a little more at ease, and then ask her...good luck, and welcome to WP! :)


_________________
Given a “tentative” diagnosis as a child as I needed services at school for what was later correctly discovered to be a major anxiety disorder.

This misdiagnosis caused me significant stress, which lessened upon finding out the truth about myself from my current and past long-term therapists - that I am an anxious and highly sensitive person but do not have an autism spectrum disorder.

My diagnoses - social anxiety disorder and obsessive-compulsive disorder.

I’m no longer involved with the ASD world.


faultyproduct
Butterfly
Butterfly

User avatar

Joined: 6 Sep 2011
Age: 55
Gender: Male
Posts: 17

12 Sep 2011, 5:53 am

anneurysm wrote:
I wouldn't recommend you say 'What up, gf' as this seems a little too casual for someone you are just meeting. It is worth a try to politely ask her to coffee or for lunch. Try doing some small talk for a bit first (like about the weather) as it will make her feel a little more at ease, and then ask her...good luck, and welcome to WP! :)


Thankyou for your kind words, with the small talk suggestion i get bored and annoyed with it plus i get upset with rejection any more suggestions?



The_Perfect_Storm
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Sep 2011
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,289

12 Sep 2011, 6:58 am

A bit of small talk is necessary. You can't just buy something and say 'oh by the way do you want to have coffee with me'.

If she really is chatty you can let her do most of the talking at the start.

Everyone experiences rejection at some point. Keep that in mind and don't get too upset over it. If you notice you make some genuine social errors though you may need to try and restructure the way you approach people in future.

Good luck, let us know how it goes.


If she's really up in your face she probably has her own problem judging the correct proximity. It's hard to say but if she's way closer than usual this may be the case. I wouldn't take it as a sign that she necessarily has an interest in you though. I don't know...