when you fit in socially

Post Reply New Topic

in those situations i get a very odd feeling.

wow those people are actually treating me like the rest of the group, is this some kind of mistake? after years of being treated like an inferior.

Oui, oui. That's my life.

It feels weird. It's as if I'm watching and hearing myself in third person, succeeding, and then all of the sudden it can disappear and I am back to feeling like a socially inept person again. I have wondered how do I capture this feeling of successfully chatting it up, being accepted, and keep it going consistently, but it seems to come and go when it pleases.

I have never fit in socially, so I don't have any clue how that would feel.

It makes me feel normal.

When I began putting different kinds of social skills I had learned/observed into practice for the first time in high school, it was extremely weird. I couldn't believe how positively people began to treat me. It's a feeling I've gotten used to...somewhat. When someone actually likes me, I find it hard to believe, and sometimes I doubt their integrity.

dont know

i am never quite sure if i am fitting in socially. frankly, if i see the person again and they are willing to talk to me, the former social encounter was a success.

me fitting in socially. NOPE.avi

The only people I fit in with socially are my family and even there I am just benevolently tolerated.

Yeah, I get that feeling once in a while. I think NTs can change their opinion on the fly, one moment they like you and then another they hate you, and vice versa.

In the last few years, I began to acquire better social skills so things are easier socially now. But it feels different to actually fit in. When I first went to college, the change was drastic. People wanted to accept me but then I didnt know how to socialize and I was so used to people ignoring me in high school. The feeling was weird at first, I didnt understand why people were suddenly saying hi. But I didnt actually acquire decent skills until my Jr yr of college.

It's never really happened to me. I'm just too weird for people.

I've learned people generally want me socially not because of who I am, but simply what I can do for them. So, I never really "fit in" but it would seem that way at times, generally I look at the people I'm "fitting in" with with distrust now, after past issues.

Oddly, I almost always feel perfectly fine around adults, like people 10 years or so older than me. Like it just feels like a fish in water in an adult social group, but with people my own age, that's where all my issues come up. Adults just seem more accepting of me for some reason.

To 1000Knives: When I read your post, I thought, "Hey! That's the story of my life too!"
To Vomelche: Yup. I find most NTs unpredictable but can't really pinpoint why. Your post has enlightened me.
To aimless: I can name lots and lots of so-called "nice" NTs who "benevolently tolerate" me, but don't view me as a member of their social circle.

This has happened to me also.