dont like "hanging out" with people

Post Reply New Topic

i keep trying to but i dont like it. i just want to leave when i do. i want friends but i dont like hanging out for that long...just like a hour or something. i like writing to people better. id like a penpal alot better. i dont know why...i cant hang out with people...but i can write to someone online for over 9 hours......is this bad?

I like hanging out with like one or 2 people but after a while sometimes I wanna be alone depending on if I'm enjoying their company or not. What I really hate is going out in the car with people! I'd much rather people come over my house and we listen to music, watch a movie, or talk at the table, but even then I shake and rock and have facial tics because I get nervous! A lot of times with people I feel like the blacksheep or the third wheel and ignored! I barely see anybody besides my family anyway.

Oh yeah and I forgot to mention that I'm very chatty on the Internet too!

I am the same way MyDogSasha, except I can only last 30 minutes. I want to say, "I don't feel like talking" but I don't want to hurt their feelings. So I just sit there and then get pissed because they have to freaking leave now. I want to put up a warning type paper on my door that tells them not to stay for too long or something. I always want someone but I don't want to talk with someone; talking takes energy and it's hard. talking to God doesn't fill the want, so I turn to internet but I want one on one; but not typing and not on a web cam and not chat. So then maybe it would work if I had a girl or a clone of myself that would respect my space and emotions and just shut up when I want them to and be sincere with them, and deep. Oh!! You know what I want!!?? I want an A.I.! I can turn it off, name it, make it look like how I want it, and it would be ready whenever I wanted it to be etc. everything I want! Too bad A.I,'s don't exist. Dammit all. MyDogSasha it is not bad, what's bad is other people not respecting it, that's you if they don't like it then they are fake! BillyIdolFan217 I am very chatty online too haha!

I only wanna hang out with people who understand me and accept the fact that
A) I don't sit in the front of the car right now
And B) I carry a Buffy doll around everywhere!

MyDogSasha

Same here. I dont like hanging out. Never did it it as a adolescent as no one invited me. As an adult I force myself to do it now but i never enjoy it. I like emailing people and chatting. I love sitting and talking about informative discussions which are serious and deep (not stuff people like to talk when hanging out). I can be very talkative then. Infact when i force myself, i can try to hang in with 1 person and talk absolute nonsense. But then i dont enjoy it, my brain starts to switch off after some time and then i tend to avoid that person more. I also want friends, but i just cant do the "hanging out" stuff people do. It is too unstructured and dumb (no offense meant) for me to enjoy.

Hello MyDogSasha I feel exactly the same as you. And Siddhi, I could have written your above post. One thing that really irritates me about "hanging out" with people, which I have avoided for months now, is that everyone seems to be laughing about silly things when I just want to talk about something interesting.

According to my experience, I haven't seen anyone write long penpal letters to each other. Instead they conveniently communicate via cellphone and texting whenever they're at different locations.

Now if you say you want friends, but aren't willing to hang out and talk to people, then they'll think you're not very interested in them and also alienate you. In other words, you'll never make friends.

Advice: you might want to find and interact with people that rarely talk about silly, boring topics such as getting drunk, partying, etc.

Whenever I hang out with others, it's usually only with very close friends. Even then, we almost always end up going to the movies. It's easier not having to talk, thus avoiding awkward silences and stilted conversation. I just don't know what to talk about! None of my friends can really relate to me or my interests, which is why my hang-outs are few and far between. It's different with my cousin, because we have family in common and she knows I have AS.

What bothers me about hanging out with more than one person at a time is that they turn to each other for conversation since neither can really talk about their interests with me. I hate chatting about relationships. UGH. If there is one topic I loathe more than any other, it's boyfriend-girlfriend stuff. Find a new topic already!

I dont have enough in common with a vast majority of people to substantiate hanging out with them for hours and hours. Occasionally it happens, but more and more rarely with age, it seems . Even worse, I feel like the more I hang around certain people and not taking to the convo like everyone else the more it makes my issues with normal socialization stick out. I think its better for people to perceive you're snubbing them and not hanging out rather than they get to know you and think you're a weirdo. Even better, my hanging out issues are seriously affecting my relationship with my NT bf who wants to go hang out with ppl all the time. Fun fun

It might be worth it to be upfront about how you don't like to hang out for too long with the person/people you are with beforehand. Another thing to consider is if you aren't sure you can get out of that kind of situation, maybe bring a book or iPod or something to help distract time. I usually walk away or walk elsewhere and I try to look for a person who is not talking to someone else if those are options.